Saying Goodbye.

Yesterday was a hard day.  We said goodbye to our beloved corgi after 13 years of love and craziness.

Over the last year, he’s had bladder control issues.  Poor baby.  No pain.  No suffering, just succumbing to old age.

Over the last month, he’s slowed down, slept more than awake and was having trouble getting up due to his back legs slipping out from beneath him.

In the craziness of finding another place to live, we thought he’d be with us for a while longer.  Three days ago, he stopped eating, then just went to sleep Saturday evening and never woke up.

Tippy was a gift from a friend we knew who begged my son’s father to let him have the puppy.  He was a tiny, little puppy and we were told he was a “Jack Russell”.  The funny thing is, his ears gave him away.  Our vet took one look at him and informed us that he was most definitely was not; but a Welsh Cardigan Corgi.  (He has a tail)

My son, a 5 year old who had wanted his own puppy and not share his mom’s 3 poms, delighted in the fact that we had gotten him his own dog.  As time went on, the two became thick as thieves.  The love they shared was beautiful.   They slept together up until a few years ago when Tippy began having trouble getting up into the bed, so he then slept under the bed.

Tippy was smart.  He liked to make you think he was dumb; but he wasn’t.  He’d watch closely all we’d do and then figure out ways to get himself into trouble with his new found knowledge.  He was a master escape artist when the mood hit him.  A major beggar when he really wanted something and patient with the little dogs.

When we first brought him home, my female pom took him under her wing.  She showed him the ropes, treated him like her own pup and nurtured him into believing he was a tiny Pomeranian lapdog, just like the other 3.  At around 30lbs, he was not easy on the lap; but definitely well loved.  She was the ultimate mommy to all the pups and loved them all.  She even treated my son like her own when he was a baby and loved to play with him, so Tippy was just another pup for her to raise.

As a matter of fact, Tippy loved her so much, that when she slowed down and finally passed in 2007, he stayed right by her side until the end.  It was sweet and a treasured memory for sure.

Time has been short; but full of love.  The 13 years we had him was not long enough; but it was full of love.  He had a good life with us.  He will be missed.

The hardest part for us was the burial.  My son had to do it on his own.  I’m not strong enough.  I tried to help; but due to my illness, I was useless.  Our little girl offered us both comfort when we were crying.  She heard my son in the bathroom last night and wouldn’t leave until he came out and she could love on him.  She’s amazing.  My pommy boy went to Tippy before we wrapped him up and licked him goodbye.  He’s known Tippy his entire life and they were fast friends.

I’m not sure how or if they’ll mourn like we do; but I know that we’ll all do it together and we’ll all get through it one day at a time.

Until we meet again at the rainbow bridge, Tippy.

❤

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No Place Like Home

After renting our current home for the last 7 years, it’s time to move on.  With my income being reduced and our rent being increased, we were kind of forced to make a change.  We began hunting for a new rental with a lower rent that accepts doggies.  No luck.

I began thinking about looking into buying a house. I contacted a Veteran’s Mortgage Broker and got preapproved for a mortgage and began my journey back to buy a house in May.  They recommended a Veteran realty specialist in my area who knew the ins and outs of acceptable residence for VA approval.  My son and I found many great places; but one by one, they showed to be “unworthy” for one reason or another.

Amid this chaos, I was also seeing an ENT and an ear neurologist to help with my ear infection and increased balance issues.  As of yesterday, I’m continuing this journey without answers.

Today, I received notice that once the insurance quote and written appraisal report comes in that the underwriter will take the file on for approval of my mortgage.  I’ve already received preapproval for it all from the underwriter, so we’re set and progressing toward our August 2nd closing date.

YES!  We found a house!  YEAH!

It’s half the size of our current place, with a nice back yard for the pups.  It’s an older home; but passed inspection with ease due to the owner’s complete restoration of the home over the last year.  It will be the same distance to the college my son is attending as our current location, without the toll he’d have to pay each day at present.  Another plus!  The home is 3 bedrooms and one bathroom; but with our schedules, that isn’t going to be a problem.

I am half way to having the house packed up.  It’s hard to do more than a few hours at a time for me; but I’m getting there.  I have time.  I have 1/2 a garage full of donated items for the Salvation Army that I’ll schedule for pick up on the 26th of the month.  I’m excited for this new adventure.

I’m having the property deeded in both our names so if anything happens to me, my son won’t have to pay inheritance tax on the property.

I’ve sketched out plans for the yard, to include an area for a firepit and plants around the front and back.  These are plans that I’ll implement over time so I have things to do around the house to keep me busy.  No need to rush anything, just busy work.

Next week, my son is going to drive out to get my niece and nephew with my father.  My father is excited about the road trip and even my son is looking forward to their time together.  I’m so proud of my son.  He’s gotten his driver’s license and has even had his first solo adventure with the car.

Last weekend, we went to DCI in Orlando.  We saw my son’s HS band director there with his wife.  We hung out with them while waiting during a lightning delay (two 30 min. periods).  His wife and I will be getting together next week for lunch when things are less busy for both of us.   I love these two so much.  Such great people. ❤

DCI was great.  So fun to watch these wonderful musicians play their routines and compete against themselves for greater performance of their craft.  My son loves the Blue Coats.  Me, I love the Cadets out of PA.  They have such beautiful shows.  I especially loved the one they did last season most of all.  They always incorporate singing in their shows and I just love their choir.

God has so blessed my son and me.  He’s lead me to a great house.  He’s helped me through this daunting process.  He’s held me together on the days I’ve wanted to just fall apart.  My life has been a series of ups and downs.  My life has been in turmoil more than peace.  It’s made me a much stronger woman and I am grateful to God that He has made me this way.  He is so beautiful and so rewarding and so very loved by me.  I can not imagine making this journey without Him.

I dedicate my life to serving Him in all I do.  I bring glory to His name by sharing my testimony with others on His faithfulness.  He is my everything.  With Him, I rise above.  Without Him, I fall and can’t get up.  I am not perfect.  I fail Him daily; but I know that each new day brings new grace, new strength, new abilities and renewed love from Him.  Nothing can change that and nothing will make me doubt Him.

Our corgi is dying.  He’s not eating, just drinking.  He’s having trouble walking and sleeping more and more.  I’ve seen the signs before and want him to go peacefully, here with us.  We have discussed this at great lengths and we both agree that unless he begins to cry out in pain and suffering, he’ll stay here with us, until the end.  We both love him so much and want what is best for him.  He will be missed so very much.

Until we meet again…..

❤

I Can Only Imagine….

Tonight was our “Flick on the Fifth” night at church.  If a month has 5 Saturdays, we show a film on that fifth evening.  Tonight’s film was “I Can Only Imagine“, the story behind the song written by Bart Milliard from MercyMe.

Such a powerful story and song.  First of all, that song was not only #1 on the Gospel charts, but was also #1 on the Country charts at the same time.  Anyone who has ever lost someone close to them tries to imagine what happens next.  I know I have, especially when I lost my best friend.

The song, inspired by his life, is about the way Bart’s father went from being the “abusive monster” he grew up with to the saved, Jesus loving man that he finally forgave and found a love for his dad that he never imagined he’d ever have.  So beautiful.  I was a teary mess by the end, of course.  Ha, ha.

It was definitely one that got us talking afterward.  Have you ever suffered at the hands of another something so terrible, that you couldn’t forgive them.  Even held a grudge?  Then, they changed.  They repented and made amends and wanted you to forgive them.  And here you are, still in that place of hurt, not ready to give in, even though you know, deep in your heart that you love them and want to; but they have shattered your trust so badly, so many times that you don’t know if you can trust them, ever!

Yeah, I know all about that.  Except, that I always forgive and end up right back in the same position, kicked in the teeth by the one I forgave countless times.  I was reading a Max Lucado book last year and Max reminded me of the time Jesus faced the same problem.  In Luke 4:16-30, we find Jesus being rejected by those who are from His own hometown, “What good can come from Nazareth?”  Max explains how even Jesus found rejection from His own family and friends and left, unable to preach to those He loved.  He further explained that when others hurt us or betray us, it is perfectly okay to walk away or leave the relationship in order to not subject yourself to their hurtful ways.

Now, for me, this was great advice.  My father and sisters constantly talk trash behind my back.  It hurts.  They make judgments about me, even though they are wrong, and I have to stand by and let them.  I have to take it.  And if I don’t?  Too bad, they’re entitled to their opinions; but I’m not.  After years of living with their abuse, I finally disassociated myself from their influence and left them.  They can no longer hurt me.

I have forgiven them.  I just don’t allow them to continue their bad behavior toward me.  I don’t give them the opportunity to hurt me.  I have turned my back on their abuse and no longer take it.  I am FREE.

As for the movie, Bart was able to restore his relationship with his father after years of abuse.  He was able to watch the monster turn into a God fearing, bible thumping, lover of Jesus.  It was a beautiful transformation and it was something that allowed the watcher a peek into forgiveness in action and working through pain and heartbreak.  Truly, the beauty of God transformed this father and son into the best of friends and for me, it was such a wonderful glimpse into how He works.

❤

Summertime…..

Here we are, on the cusp of summertime and so begins the rains.  We’ve been lucky thus far that its rained only at night so far; but I’m sure the normal afternoon monsoons will start soon.

My son & I have been looking at new places to live and we may have found one.  We shall have to wait and see if all goes well.  It’s been a tough couple of weeks with us finding, then viewing, then finding more places and viewing, in a seemingly endless cycle of disappointments.

What has made these trips worse has been the fact that my ear infections have progressed to the “worse” stage and my vertigo is strongly asserting itself into my life and causing me intense dizziness to the point of severe nausea.  Not even sea sickness bands or tablets have provided any relief at all.  It’s a nightmare.  My only hope is that next week, when the ENT places tubes in my ears, it will help.

My son passed his driving test today, so he’s finally street legal.  Finally got an appt with the advisor at the college.  Looking good for the scholarship to pay for it and we’re working toward being settled into a new place before he starts in August.

Today’s prize was that everything seemed to be going our way.  I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Ha, ha.

The places we looked at today:  first one a total bust.  Bad neighborhood, duplex, small and not a good place for the pups to live.  Not happy with it at all.  The second place was nice.  Spacious, nice flooring, good neighborhood, quaint, great fenced back yard for the pups and we both agreed we like it.

Cons:  Needs washer, dryer, microwave and  chicken wire for the fence.  The fence is a nice wooden one; but my baby, Honi, could slip right between the slats, so we’ll have to put up some chicken wire, about 2 feet from the ground up, to prevent her from escaping.  There are 6 foot privacy fences on both neighbor’s sides.  Not a bad little place.  I can see the potential of me building up the landscape in the back yard.  The yard is just big enough for us to let the pups out for their thing and for any BBQ we may want to do out their.

However, with all the things I need to do for the place, which isn’t a whole lot, I look forward to doing them.  I also need to do some more packing.  I’ve gone and reduced the number of storage tubs I’ve had in the garage and added a bunch more stuff to the donation boxes.  My craft room will be my biggest challenge; but I’m up to it.

I’ve been looking at storage solutions, room ideas, decorating ideas and more, just wanting to change things up a bit.  I look forward to the challenges.  Of course, my son has many friends who have volunteered to assist us with the move and I am grateful that they’re on board with helping us out.  I definitely couldn’t do it without them.

Last Friday, we went to see Incredibles 2 with one of my son’s friends.  Not bad for a sequel.  It’s great how they will only produce quality stories. I’ve heard that Cars 2 is crap; but since I didn’t care for Cars to begin with, I never watched the other 2 they put out.  Anyway, we laughed so hard at the humor and cheered on the supers before going home satisfied with the movie.

My partner at church will be gone for the last two weeks of July and first two weeks  of August, so I’ll be “THE” AV gal.  My son will take care of the sound portion and we’ll work as a team.

This past week, I watched as our drummer, (the man who had a stroke back in October, whom my son was subbing for) playing like his old self.  So great to see where God took him in his health care journey.  We are all so grateful that he is back in the band and my son will be his “sub” when he can’t make it in.  Such a blessing.  God is so good! ❤

Our Pastor was able to come back to church on Saturday as well.  He’s been out the last two weeks with stomach issues that seem to be resolving.  YEAH! We have an associate Pastor working with us the rest of the summer with our band in order to give our Pastor a break.  Another blessing in our lives.  God is so Good!!!

My love of this church family is so overwhelming.  I absolutely adore them and look forward to the days when we get together.  I cannot think of a better family dynamic than ours.  We pray together, we share our lives, we cry, we laugh, we love, we learn and we worship the Father, all while singing the praises of the great I AM.  We are small; but mighty.

On this journey we call life, don’t forget Who put us here and how much He loves us.

❤

Thank You for Your Service

So, I’m watching the movie, “Thank You for Your Service”, a movie about what happens when a soldier comes home from war.  It deals with PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury, and the VA health care system.

I remember when I was first discharge from the Marines when I was a young woman and first went to the VA hospital closest to my home in NY.  I filled out paperwork, enrolled in the system and filed a claim.

I was treated like shit.  From the first doctor on.  I was in massive pain, I waited hours to be seen by a doctor.  I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I waited to be called in.  I couldn’t take the pain.  I was miserable.  I was hurting.  I saw the doctor, who gave me nothing; but a referral to Psych.  I went to the VA Psych hospital and was taken to a room where I was patted down by two male security guards, who only used the metal detective wand on the males and was treated to a groping.  I then saw the doctor, who made the situation worse and I left there feeling 10x’s worse and assaulted.

The movie tells the characters that it will take up to 12 weeks for the claim to go through; but realistically, it’s more like 6-9 months.  For me, it took 2 years.  I filed in October 1994 and received benefits in October 1996.

The problem is and always will be that the system is broken and now that we have even more service men and women filing everyday, it’s like putting twenty pound bag of sugar on a scale that only measure up to a pound.  It’s going to break and the sad thing is these men and women NEED the help, desperately.

I hurt so much for them.  I feel their pain.  I dream their nightmares.  I struggle, still, with a system that doesn’t give a fuck about it’s patience or those that serve this country after they leave service.

I was last seen by a doctor at the VA clinic September 2016, right after losing my best friend.  You are supposed to be seen at least once a year or you are unenrolled.  My prescriptions are renewed with just an email and when I tried, several times, to get an appointment, I’ve been given the run around.  I’d love to ask them, “Who do I have to kill in order to get an appointment?”, but I don’t want to get arrested or something.  SMH

As the movie ends, they tell you that the real men, whom the story is about, did finally get help.  It’s good to hear.  It’s nice to know that they are still out there and not part of the suicide statistic that is so high in the veteran community.

Everyone has a story to tell about their VA experience.  My father goes to the one in Miami.  He loves it.  His claim was quick and he’s treated like a king there.  Of course, it is veteran run.  People who know what the military is like and how to treat their fellow veterans.  I’m happy for him.  Wouldn’t it be great if the whole system was so much better?

I remember a few years ago hearing about how one VA facility had a makeover of it’s waiting areas and how it was so needed and they asked on veteran what he thought and they were not prepared for his answer, that’s for sure.  It would have been a better use of money had they revamped care and not where we have to wait for care.  That money would have helped more people on the medical side of things, don’t you think?  Yeah, they didn’t like it at all.  I had the same feeling they did.

Shortly after my friend died, I was having a conversation with a long time friend who had the opportunity to meet with President Trump on his campaign trail, before he was president.  Trump had asked those in attendance about VA health care and my friend told him what I had spent the last year dealing with at the local clinic and how my best friend had died because of their lax medical practices and his aid took notes on it.  I hope that it will help other veterans in the future.

 

 

Women Veterans

I am a 100% service connected disabled veteran.  What does that mean?  It means that I received an injury while in military service to this country.  I’m also a woman veteran.  When I joined the USMC I was part of only 1% of the military that were women.  Now, almost 11% of our military force are women.  What an increase.

I bring this up on the eve of Memorial Day; because I am currently watching the 2018 National Memorial Day Concert on PBS.  They made a salute to women veterans and gave the history of women in military service since the Revolutionary war to the present.  They told of women disguising themselves as boys in order to fight in the Revolution from Britain right up to the present, where women are flying jets and are now even 4-star generals.

Back in the mid 90’s, I was discharged by the USMC due to my injury.  I went to the VA Hospital in NY and was in for the biggest culture shock of my life.  Not only was the VA ill equipped to help women; but they were hardly even helping men.  It was disgusting.  Things such as gowns for patients were nonexistent.

My experience and treatment was horrible and after telling a friend about what I had personally gone through, he introduced me to the Women Veteran’s Coordinator and I soon became a part of the solution.  We met monthly.  I spoke with women veterans who wouldn’t use the VA for health care due to their not being equipped to care for us.  With millions of baby steps, they just held a Baby Expo at the VA facility in St. Pete.  Things have changed and thankfully for the better.

Now, I’m not saying it is the best health care in the world; because it’s not.  Backlogs, no available appointments, shitty attitudes from staff members, etc. still prevail.  I mean, I’ve not seen a doctor their since Sept. 2016 and even though I’ve tried to get an appointment, I’ve been put on hold until they’ve hung up on me or told they’d get back to me and I’m just grateful I have Medicare or I’d be dead by now.

I’ve seen specialists both at the VA and the private sector; both of which have told me that with my multiple drug allergies and no cure or surgical options, I’m screwed.  It sucks; but it can’t be helped.

I remember my mother saying multiple times “Marine Wife, hardest job in the Corps.” and I got so pissed off and told her so.  “Mom, I hate to burst your bubble; but it’s not the hardest job.  Being a Woman Marine is the hardest job.  We have to work twice as hard, do twice as much, prove ourselves daily to be good enough and endure men who think the only thing a Woman Marine is good for is a turn on her back.”  She didn’t like that at all.

I was getting ready to graduate boot camp and we were at the photographers for our picture and a male platoon came into the area; because they were next.  Their drill instructor turned to his platoon and said to them, “Here they are, boys, the next platoon of Marine sluts getting ready to graduate.”  My DI never said a word.  I know my platoon was humiliated and embarrassed.  It’s something I will never forget.  It’s a shame that some men feel it is okay to speak to others that way.

I’m proud of my service and would do it again if I could.  Granted, I don’t believe that a woman should be in combat; but if a woman wants to do so, she can now.  I loved my military service.  I loved my job as an aircraft accountant.  I loved the people I worked with and the lifelong friends I’ve made and stay in touch with.

My story has been published in 3 books, shared at the Women In Military Service for America Memorial, as well as shared by myself at meetings across both NY State and Florida.

I have hope that one day the VA will provide great care to veterans.  As I reflect back on my time in service, I Thank the women who came before me that afforded me the opportunity to serve this great nation.  Without them, I could not have served this great nation of ours.  I love the USA!

❤

Graduation, Schools and Guns

My weekend started Friday morning with Graduation rehearsal for the boy.  Once that was over, I took the girls out for lunch and a movie to celebrate one of their birthdays.  We saw Deadpool 2 and had a great Italian meal.  I then headed home to get my son and take him to dinner with his grandparents.

Once home, I prepared for the morning and headed to bed.  We had the first scheduled Graduation of the day over at the college stadium, which began at 10 am; but arrival was 9 am.  We got up and out to make it to the 9 am arrival time.  My son looked so handsome in his cap & gown and the service was actually pretty smooth and timely.

After the ceremony, photos with friends and family, we headed out to eat at a local place for lunch with “the birthday girl” and her family to celebrate both of their achievements.  Her father paid for it all their 6 and we were a group of 6, 12 people. WOW! He told me that he was more than happy to pay it for all I have done for his daughter.  I was so deeply touched by this beautiful gesture.  I am truly blessed.

We spent the afternoon with my parents and after they left, we were both sacked, so I went to bed and the boy to his room to do whatever.  My son let me know before I went to bed that he was having about 10 friends over the next day. UGH!

Sunday morning was a rush to the store for provision and a cake.  I’ve been so busy this weekend with things, that today was the first day I heard of the terrible events in Texas on Friday.  My heart is saddened and I am so sorry for the loss and heartbreak these families are suffering.

I know that I have previously written about schools and guns.  I know I have shared my point of view.

I believe that if we enforce the laws we have, things like this could be harder to happen.  I also think that David Hogg, who calls himself a survivor of the Parkland, FL shooting in February, is in serious need of some mental health treatment.  I think this NOT because he was there; but because he calls himself a survivor, even though he was at home during the attack.  In my mind, that is like saying my dog is a rape survivor because no one has ever raped her.

Remember, the above statements are ONLY my opinion and I’m not at the nearest media outlets spouting outrage and propaganda.  I don’t have twitter and I hardly post anything on my facebook page; but scripture references and family/friend photos.

With all that being said, the fact that Mr. Hogg is tweeting propaganda, lies and making up statistics is shameful.  People believe his lies and shameful, insulting accusations of our political leaders.  A bill doesn’t become law over night, despite what Mr. Hogg may think.  The system is flawed, only because the laws on the books are not properly enforced.  It’s easy to blame others for our failings.  It’s easy to point fingers.  What isn’t easy is taking responsibility for our own failings.

Unarming the public is not the solution.   I shared previously about the unarming of citizens overseas and how they are now being prosecuted for their facebook posts.  When one of our freedoms is taken and nullified, the rest are sure to follow.

This is a mental health issue.  The shame and stigma of mental health issues is pathetic and if we’d stop shaming kids who have these problems or putting them on drugs in elementary school, we might raise a better generation of children; but what do I know?  I’m only a mom, a blogger, a disabled veteran and a woman.

What I see, though, is my sons friends parents who are uninvolved it their kids lives due to overworking, no interest or just don’t give a crap.  I see kids so starved for love that they call me mom, run and hug me whenever I am near and genuinely love me; because I care about what they are involved in.  I care about what they’re doing outside of the band room and ask.  I care about their days.  I listen.  Sometimes I give advice, sometimes a shoulder to cry on.  Most of all, I give them my time.  And, I genuinely love them.

My opinion is just that.  I don’t have the solutions.  I don’t know how to help these lost souls.  I wish I did.  I can only pray that something is done to fix this and that no more lives are lost.

❤

Pain

It’s been a heck of a week.  Only a few days until graduation for the boy and I am so hoping that the pain will at least recede enough to make it tolerable.  I think it would be far better for my pain to be anywhere but in my face.  It’s like an open tooth.  It’s horrible.  I know, I know.  I’ve shared this before.  So sorry.  I just never thought that 26 years after a botched dental procedure I’d still be suffering such horrible pain and agony.  I guess no one with Trigeminal Neuralgia expects it to last.  Yes, there are days I can push the pain back; but I haven’t been able to do so in a while.  I guess I need to focus on doing that more often; but for whatever reason, I’m stumped as to how I used to do it. <sigh>

I took the kids to the beach a few times and we were lucky enough to be able to stand still as a school of sting rays swam around us, TWICE!!!  Such beautiful and majestic creatures and definitely one of my favorites.  I love seeing them in their natural habitat.

Sting ray season is from April to October and it is best to do the “ray shuffle” so as not to disturb them as they tend to hide just beneath the surface of the sand in water.  By shuffling your feet, you alert the rays that you are in the vicinity and they come out and remove themselves from the area.  Both times we were out on Sanibel, we came upon them in the late afternoon, as the sun was lower in the sky.

The parents will be here on Friday evening in preparation for graduation on Saturday morning.  They missed the awards ceremony; but to be honest, my son and I wish we’d missed it, too. LOL!

Anyway, we’re actually going to see Deadpool 2 tomorrow night and we’re looking forward to it.  Of course, nothing can top Avengers: Infinity War as the best movie EVER!  I’m such a nerdy comic book girl and the last 10 years of movies has been AWESOME!  I truly thought they couldn’t top Black Panther; but they DID!  The only thing that would’ve made it better is both this one and part 2 released within a few months, not a year; but I can’t be too pushy.  😀

Anyway, I hope to get through the next few days with minimal pain.  We certainly shall see.

❤

Magna Cum Laude

My son received his Magna Cum Laude certificate and pin at the Senior Awards Night at the high school.  One week until graduation.  He’s gotten his yearbook, cap & gown, orange stole and honor cords.  He’s all set.

The yearbook is an abomination! From massive spelling errors to flat out stupid content, the students I’ve spoken with are not at all satisfied with it.  I want to ask the teacher in charge if she even proof-read the thing; but why bother.  It is obvious that no one did and changing it is not an option.  It’s just sad for those who were looking forward to a memorable keepsake.  OH and if you notice most of the 231 graduating students received an average of 2-3 pictures, the fact that the yearbook staff ensured they were prevalent throughout is very noticeable. SMH.

Awards ceremony was okay.  Rehearsal for it was a cluster.  Cap & gown pick up went quickly.  Hoping that the Graduation ceremony will be short and sweet.

We have a tour and visit at the college on Tuesday.  He’s looking forward to that.  Doesn’t want a party; but we are going to have cake after church the week after, to celebrate with our church family.

Still trying to find a place to live.  Not sure what’s going to become of us if we can’t; but I’m waiting on the Lord to guide us to where we need to be.  One day at a time.

Our Pastor has spent the week in the hospital and was not present tonight.  Praying he’ll be back with us quickly.  He’s a good Pastor, who has had a lot of hardship; but still faithful, grateful and hopeful.  We just love this man.

I can hardly believe my son is 18, graduating and about to go to college.  So hard to believe the time has gone by so quickly.

Just waiting for the next chapter to begin.

❤

People. Am I right?

So, today I am on my way home.  I stopped at the traffic light to make the left hand turn into my neighborhood.  A black car was in front of me at the light.  No big deal.  We turned when the signal arrow lit up green and turned into the neighborhood.  The car in front of me turns and drives; but at only 10 MPH.  I’m confused; but what can I do?  I notice that the guy in the back seat keeps turning his head to look at me.  The driver then stops the car, blocking my driveway so I can’t pull into it.  I’m mad; but all I do is turn on my blinker.  The car pulls up just enough to let me get in my driveway.

I get out of the car and the passenger window comes down.  Turns out it is the crazy woman who’s parents live across the street from me and her kids.  She starts screaming at me about me speeding in the neighborhood (which I was far from doing behind their car) and proceeded to call me a “Renter” and “Drunk”, as if those are bad things.  First of all, I am not a drinker.  As a matter of fact, I can’t remember the last time alcohol was in my house.  (It had to be at least 2 years and not mine) I just had to laugh.

The son, who had gotten out of the car, jumped into a white car in their driveway, started it up, pulled it in front of my driveway and revved the engine at me and spewed obscenitiesv qq, like I’m supposed to be afraid or something.  I have no idea what that was supposed to do to me; but scare or intimidate me it did not.

I did tell her off, having lost my temper by their intentional provoking. It has been many years (at least 3 or more) since I had an incident with them.  The parents, an older couple who own the house, are such nice people and we wave when we see each other.  She is not a nice woman.  She’s always so hostile.

I begged God’s forgiveness for losing my temper, for allowing their provocation to cause me to anger.  I was disappointed in myself for letting them get to me.  I should have just ignored them completely.  They are not worth the trouble. Apparently they’ve held a grudge for the last several years over a tiny mishap and that is just sad, especially since we were both in the wrong and both of us should have been cited; but were not.  At the time of our minor accident, she called me all kinds of vile names and I said not a word.

With the incident on Sunday when a man got angry that I was not moving fast enough to cross the street and now this woman, I do believe that people are crazy!  I don’t mean all of them; but a good number of them have a screw lose.  There is so much anger and hostility and I want no part of it.  I want to live a life without this kind of crap.  SMH.

I don’t mess with my neighbors.  I keep to myself.  I have too many things to do and am not in the least bit concerned about what my neighbors do or say.

I’m a busy woman.  I’m a volunteer.  I run audio/video for my church’s weekly service and help my pastor.  I am a good person and I don’t look for trouble.  I hope I am out of the line of fire; but only God knows.  All I can do is pray and let God handle the situation.

One day, I’ll be in paradise and not have to worry about any of this.

❤