Ah, Autumn, how I miss the smell, the crisp air, the crunch of leaves under foot, a light sweater and the beautiful colors. I sometimes wish I was still up north, enjoying the season in it’s full glory.
I used to love to hike in the mountains and enjoy the Autumn in all it’s splendor. I love it so much and is truly the only thing I miss about this time of year. I remember when I was pregnant with my son and we didn’t know if he was a boy or girl yet. We picked two names. If a girl, she was to be Autumn Hope. But, alas, he was not a girl and his name is perfect for him.
It’s only 3 days until we celebrate his 18th birthday. I can hardly believe that he will be 18. The years seem to have flown by so quickly. I still reminisce about the joyous times we’ve spent together. He’s been my miracle since birth and I have enjoyed every moment of it I’ve spent with him. I am incredibly blessed by God to have been chosen to be his mother. He turns 18 and 6 days later, I turn 49. Best birthday present ever! ❤
Last night at church, our Pastor discussed Matthew 25:14-29 — The Parable of the Talents. In this parable, three men are given talents from their overseer to take care of while he was away. The 1st man was given 5 talents and multiplied it to 10. The next was given two and multiplied it to 4. The final man received only one and he buried and hoarded it, not doing a single thing. Upon the overseers return, he congratulated the two investors and chastised the sloth, casting him out.
As we reviewed the scripture, we began to understand it. God gives us each talents. We are all unique, we are all in receipt of abilities that are ours alone and we are to use them to glorify God. Because, sometimes, we are the only person who is seen by others as God in the flesh.
I took a “Spiritual Gifts” test to figure out what God had given me to use in this world for His glory. I received giving, caring and mercy as my top 3 gifts. (These were far above the other gifts you can receive) I have to say, they were pretty obvious to me, even before the test; but to have it confirmed, was a pleasant surprise.
As I reflect on my life, I see these gifts in so many parts of it. I’ve always felt it is better to give than to receive. I take great delight in giving things to people and watching their joy and happiness unfold. I’m also a natural care giver. I feel my best when I am able to take care of people and ensure their well being and happiness. As for mercy, I have always forgiven others much more than they deserve. It’s why my ex-husband told close friends of our years that he could sh*t all over me and I’d always take him back. <sigh>
I do it all for Him, and still, I cannot do enough for Him. It is just not possible.
It’s been a strange few weeks. For some reason, the Lord is surrounding me with the name of my “love”. I chaperoned my son’s competition a few weeks back and there were 3 boys with his name, sitting and speaking with me. I turn on the t.v. and I hear both his given name and nickname, which is not a common one. I hear it on the radio. I’ve encountered several while out and about in stores, the mechanics, at the VA, and on. It is so weird; but also mysterious as to why I am being bombarded with his name.
November will be 2 years since we’ve reconnected. In 2015, his name popped into my mind, unexpectedly, while driving home after dropping my son at school. This has happened to me with various friends I’ve know and usually after I reminisce about them, I forget them again and move on. Not this time. Three days later, I am still thinking of him and I decide to look him up on Facebook. He’s the first choice and I check him out and decide to friend him. He immediately connects and I move on. Nope, still there. UGH! So, I send him a message. He had pneumonia, so I tell him I’m praying for him to get better quickly and I’m sure he doesn’t remember me at all. Low & behold, he not only remembers me; but looked for me on more than one occasion; but to no avail. LOL! Spelling my name is a bitch. LOL! No one gets it right. So we chat several times over the next year. He dates a woman, I pray for his relationship. It ends, I pray for his heartbreak. Until last November.
November 2016 is when I get the vision of him in church during prayer. It shocks, it disturbs and scares me. I come home from church, deeply upset and after an hour of contemplation, I message him angrily and tell him I don’t appreciate his invading my God time, etc. He finds it funny, I don’t. I pray about it and God let’s me know His plan and his involvement in it. I’m in shock.
As this year has gone by, this man and I have had several conversations in which he teases me, leads me on and then disappears from communication for months. Drives me insane. Now, I’ve read several articles that state if a man shows no interest, move on. I have tried. I pray daily. I ask God for clarification. Each time, God answers: “Stay faithful to Me, the plan and the man.” So I do.
So, here I am. Still faithful to my Lord, His plan and the man. 😀 Only God knows how this will come to fruition; because He is the author of this love story. ❤
My son has only 2 more weeks until the end of Marching Band season. Not sure if the new Band Director is going to be doing Indoor Drumline this year or not. We shall see. Because of Hurricane Irma, the band is not motivated at all. They seem to have lost their mojo for performing. My son and his friends, who usually love it, seem down and ready for it to end.
I’m almost hoping we don’t have Indoor; but we shall see. I found out he is graduating on May 19th at 10am and I’m happy for him. Looking forward to him to do so and also missing the fact that he’s going to go to college at the same time. So proud of him, though.
And time marches on………………..