Joyful Noise!

Spent the evening watching “Joyful Noise” with my wonderful “Heart to Heart” Women’s Group.  We had a potluck supper and enjoyed the movie afterwards.  It was WONDERFUL!  We laughed, we cried, we celebrated and shared a wonderful evening.  What a great movie.

Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah were great!   From witty banter and rocking music to a sweet love story, this movie is a winner.  We girlfriends in God laughed, cried and enjoyed the fellowship as well as this great movie.  We loved it!

It was a good, wholesome movie that Praised our Heavenly Father and really made a joyful noise in our hearts.

Good Christian Women

Good Christian Women

Okay, so I am so not a gossip and I tend to mind my own business.  I’m not into all the drama others stir up and don’t want to get involved.

However, I am currently watching drama unfold for a friend.  She met a gal at a Friday evening Ladies Church function.  She thought they had a lot in common and invited her to go to see a movie with myself and another friend, making it four of us.  Well, the other friend and this gal sat next to each other and my friend and I next to each other.  We didn’t enjoy the movie; but we did enjoy the company.

Apparently, the three of them got together over the next several days and did some stuff together.  I finally saw my friend at church on Saturday evening and afterwards, we hung out together and chatted.  She brought up a few things that she was experiencing since we last met.  New gal made several references to other friend that my friend is a “user”.  This after only knowing her for 5 days.  She’s made these references without truly getting to know my friend, who is far from a user.  Yes, she’s hit hard times.  Yes, she asks for rides due to not having a car right now; but she also pays gas money. 

New gal has isolated her other friend and convinced her that my friend is bad news.  Other friend dumped her (sorta).  Now, my friend is confused, hurt and despite asking what went wrong, is getting the cold shoulder from both ladies.

Today, New gal just so happened to email the pastor of her church about another woman, telling the pastor how awful she is and she only just met this gal a week ago.  I’m blown away.  She calls herself a “GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN” and I am blown away.

What is a good Christian Woman?  To me, she doesn’t gossip, lie, cause problems or become a wedge in the relationship of others.  She’s respectful of others, caring, good natured and knows that God is watching all her actions and that HE will judge her for her actions and her heart.

I am picky about who I give my friendship to.  The reason I am picky is because I’ve been hurt before, just like my friend.  I’ve extended the hand of friendship only to have it bitten before.  Since renewing my faith in God and Jesus Christ, I’ve met a bunch of really good women whom I call real friends.  They are the women I trust; because they are like me.  They are not perfect and don’t expect others to be.  We accept each other, flaws and all and that I have found is much better than the superficial woman who call themselves Good Christian Women.

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Anger is short madness……

Moans escape my lips without me even realizing they belong to me.  I can not understand how it is that I am still alive.  My stomach is rolling around like it is steps away from vomitting and I don’t know how the contents of my stomach are still intact.  Why me?

Darkness surrounds my room and it is the only thing I am most grateful for at this point.  I can not bear the thought of any light intruding on my eyes without blinding pain seeping further into my brain.  It is like a nightmare and yet I am wide away because of the pain.  Sleep is so elusive, there is only pain.

Anger and madness dwell here.

My friend comes to the house and further instigates a fight with me.  I can’t defend myself against anything, defenses completely down; but he insists on being here.  I hate him.  I want to be left alone.  I want to suffer in silence.  I need the solitude; but No!  He will not allow it.  He will not leave.  He has to talk to me.  The noise is killing me.  My ears as sensative to sound as my eyes are to light.

Yet, he rattles on and on about nonsense.  I can’t bear it; but still he prattles on.  I am in AGONY!  He is further hurting me with his endless litany of shit.  How I hate him.  He is drunk.  He is a bastard.  He does not care that I am in such pain, all that matters to him is himself.  I hate his selfishness.

I beg him to leave.  I order him to leave.  I scream at him to leave and yet, there he sits, not a care in the world but himself, still talking, still ignoring me and still prattling on and on.  Oh and I am the crazy one.  I am just nuts.  Screaming and carrying on the way I do.

HE HAS INVADED MY HOME AND I AM IN PAIN; BUT I AM THE CRAZY ONE!!!  HE IS DISTURBING ME AND I AM CRAZY!  HE WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE AND I AM CRAZY!

I get angry.  I feel I have the right.  He, on the other hand, feels I have no right to my anger.  I can’t believe his is so insensative.