Happy Birthday to me…..

 

So, it’s my 44th birthday. For me, it is just another day. For those who believe that birthdays are a time to celebrate, that’s fine for them; but I don’t look at it that way. I don’t hate it. It has always been HALLOWEEN to me.

Mom: “Do you want to have a party?”
Me: “Nah, I’d rather trick or treat.”
Mom: “Okay.”

So even though it is a milestone for me, I prefer the holiday rather than the birthday. That being said, I had a blood draw this morning at the VA, so I put on my orange “I’m the good witch” shirt and off I went. This afternoon, I will hand out candy to the kids and enjoy a quiet evening watching some halloween movies. It’s a great day!

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Figured it out!

Okay, so this “friend” has been harboring resentment toward me for over a month since I told her about the fact that her daughter misunderstood what I said to her and screamed “FUCK YOU!” while flipping me off in front of her friends and then told me off. I took the high road and went to her mother with the problem instead of humiliating her in front of her friends. However, this is a no-no. I wanted her daughter to be corrected. My friend defended her daughter, told me to go and talk to her about it and fix the situation. Who am I to approach a 17 y/o girl when her mother should be the one who, at least out of respect for our friendship, told her not to treat people like that? The daughter lied about it and said she flipped me off; but didn’t yell at me or anything. This was the second incident where she stepped up with her potty mouth and created a scene.

Her first incident was in August, at my home, where a discussion between adults was going on and she screamed at us adults, “SHUT THE F*CK UP!!! You adults are acting like children! Shut the F*CK up!” at the top of her voice. She further cursed out her mother and my other guest, all while her mother curled up in a ball and cried about it. I was in shock over the incident.

Of course, neither incident was her fault. She was defended by her mother; because the daughter has had such a hard life. WOW! I’ve had a horrible life — 24/7 pain due to my disabilities, molested as a child, raped as an adult, nearly beaten to death by my ex husband, nearly died 7 times, abuse both verbal and physical as a child, bullied and YET I don’t disrespect people the way she does. She has anger issues. She hasn’t had any type of abuse and neither of her older brothers who don’t acted anywhere near the crazy way she does. BTW, I have been treated for my PTSD and have no real issues with it at this point and I have no anger issues over my past. I have reconciled it and live a happy, healthy, God filled life.

So, for over a month, the friend has harbored hard feelings over the fact that I have told her of my disapproval of the situation. Never got an apology or anything. So, she’s been seething over an incident that I put behind us. I don’t talk about her daughter, limit my association with her daughter and have basically let the incident drop. She has not. So, on Sunday, while we were talking about 90’s kids shows, mammograms and the fact that she (the daughter) has purple hair and I said, “Violet, you’re turning violet, Violet!” I treated her like shit and with hatred. Oh and because after 4 hours, I left to take my son to Game Stop before it closed for a game. Yes, I was upset over the hair pulling, which when I mentioned it to her she told me “I have the most sensitive head in the world and you need to just get over it.” Yeah, I’m going to get over nerve damage.

I’m so upset, hurt, and can’t believe how she turned on me. No discussion. Just told that I had made up my mind about her daughter and there was no turning back. I was confused about this statement when I wasn’t even given the opportunity to think anything. I didn’t say a word about any of it. Just figured that I’d distance myself from her daughter and see how that would work out. If it continued, I’d talk to her. She made up her mind a month ago and just didn’t have the balls to tell me that she was going to continue to use me until she called it quits.

Well, after all this, I walk away, knowing that she will be the one to bad mouth me to our mutual friends, make fun of me, tell my secrets to others and treat me with contempt. How do I know this? I’ve witnessed it from her previous “end of friendship” ways. She’s a gossip, talks trashy about those who she doesn’t like, etc. I’m taking the high road. This is the only place I’ll mention it and none of my friends are aware of this blog, so she won’t get hurt. I’m also not mentioning her name, so that will help as well. This is my only place to vent.

I sent her an email stating that when asked about the end of our friendship, the only thing I will state is that she ended it and to ask her why because I don’t know. I will not betray her confidences by telling others about our disagreement. I do not take secrets and spread them for malice. I am tight-lipped about others and don’t discuss them with everyone. Hopefully, this will pass quickly. Pray for her and her daughter.

Death of a Friendship

Here I am, a 44 y/o woman who has lost a friend. Why? Because she decided it was over.

WOW! My best friend has a 17 y/o daughter who has on more than one occasion disrespected me. I went to my friend and discussed the matter with her to which she stated that I should discuss it with her daughter. I was shocked. She’s the mother and felt it was my job to correct her daughter’s behavior. I don’t agree. However, I told my friend that I’d let it go, WE were friends, not me and her daughter, so I would just distance myself from her.

With all of my medical problems, one of which is facial nerve damage, I am very cautious about anyone who comes toward my face. On Saturday evening when I arrived at church, her daughter put her hands in my face, which was inappropriate. I ignored it. Later that evening, she pushed herself between me and another woman who were speaking, once again being rude. Ignored again. Just acted like it didn’t happen.

Sunday, I go to her house. Her daughter and I have our usual banter between us with laughing, etc. Well, she pulled my hair and I said to her, “Please don’t pull my hair.” So, she did it again. This caused me pain due to the nerve damage and I apparently made a face. My friend asked if I were alright and I said sure. I then left shortly afterward to do so other errands. Didn’t give the visit another thought.

Later in the evening, she sent me about 10 texts outlining how horrible I treated her daughter, how she told her daughter I hated her and how our friendship is now over. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. Her daughter can treat me any way she wants; but I am not permitted to address my displeasure with her; because that is just wrong. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Yes, she has a right to side with her daughter; but I truly don’t feel that an end to our friendship was warranted.

I’m devastated. I don’t know what to do. I asked my son, who was with us during the banter if I did anything wrong or if I was being mean or offensive and he said no. He couldn’t understand why I’d even asked. When I told him what was going on, he told me it was crazy.

I’m not sure what this world is coming to. Friendship used to mean something and not be so disposable. I’m just so sad.