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Death of a Friendship

Here I am, a 44 y/o woman who has lost a friend. Why? Because she decided it was over.

WOW! My best friend has a 17 y/o daughter who has on more than one occasion disrespected me. I went to my friend and discussed the matter with her to which she stated that I should discuss it with her daughter. I was shocked. She’s the mother and felt it was my job to correct her daughter’s behavior. I don’t agree. However, I told my friend that I’d let it go, WE were friends, not me and her daughter, so I would just distance myself from her.

With all of my medical problems, one of which is facial nerve damage, I am very cautious about anyone who comes toward my face. On Saturday evening when I arrived at church, her daughter put her hands in my face, which was inappropriate. I ignored it. Later that evening, she pushed herself between me and another woman who were speaking, once again being rude. Ignored again. Just acted like it didn’t happen.

Sunday, I go to her house. Her daughter and I have our usual banter between us with laughing, etc. Well, she pulled my hair and I said to her, “Please don’t pull my hair.” So, she did it again. This caused me pain due to the nerve damage and I apparently made a face. My friendĀ asked if I were alright and I said sure. I then left shortly afterward to do so other errands. Didn’t give the visit another thought.

Later in the evening, she sent me about 10 texts outlining how horrible I treated her daughter, how she told her daughter I hated her and how our friendship is now over. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. Her daughter can treat me any way she wants; but I am not permitted to address my displeasure with her; because that is just wrong. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Yes, she has a right to side with her daughter; but I truly don’t feel that an end to our friendship was warranted.

I’m devastated. I don’t know what to do. I asked my son, who was with us during the banter if I did anything wrong or if I was being mean or offensive and he said no. He couldn’t understand why I’d even asked. When I told him what was going on, he told me it was crazy.

I’m not sure what this world is coming to. Friendship used to mean something and not be so disposable. I’m just so sad.

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About irishgoddess1337

SAHM, Retired Marine, Christian who survived Domestic Violence, living with Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Migraine, TMJ, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Sleep Apnea and living my life for Jesus! My son is a teen! YIKES! I love music! My son plays drums in his High School Marching Band & Percussion group. We live with three fur babies -- Tippy the Corgi and Honi & Teddy the Poms. I scrapbook, stamp and make rag dolls for fun! I've recently started acrylic painting and making jewelry. Life is good!

2 responses to “Death of a Friendship

  1. When a flower stops smelling sweet, move on, there are many others to contemplate.

  2. lcat20

    funny you write about this, but i have a friend who took me totally wrong when i tried to work out a problem with them too.. and it probably ruined our friendship, even tho it shouldnt have, if the other person reacted rationally.
    what i figured out is that people’s reactions say a lot more than what they actually say. your friend was being unreasonable when she ended your friendship, but dont listen to the hurtful things she said – just examine how her true colours showed through about her values or the way she treats people she cares about. maybe you’re better off. i know its hard to deal with, but that doesnt sound like a real friend. a real friend would be as committed as you are to talking about it, or finding a solution.

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