Obama Care

After reading the interview with ABC and the president, I know for sure that the country is screwed.   The president and now due to a newly enacted law, Congress, will not be participating in the new medical insurance scam.  It’s so good, even THEY won’t use it.

As a 18 year user of the Veteran’s Administration Medical Hospitals/Clinics, I can assure you that we are in for a LOT of crap.  The VA system, which as I stated, over the last 18 years I’ve used, is incredibly flawed.  I’m what is known as 100% service connected for injuries sustained while in service and believe me, I’m treated like crap.

I’ve had doctors that ignored me (eg. prescribed medications 2 minutes after me stating I was allergic to them) forgot to put in consults and don’t remember me asking for one, given me diagnoses only to not let me know what they were and for me to come back several months later to my primary and learn that they had given a recommendation; but never bothered to tell me.  I’ve had doctors tell me that they can’t find my records only to read straight from them and never acknowledge that they were mistaken.  I’ve even been told that I don’t have lupus 5 years after being diagnosed and then at the next visit, have been asked about my Lupus like they never told me last time I didn’t have it.  UGH!

All I can say is, if this is an example of what is to come for the rest of the country, then people, you have BIG problems.  Nothing is more devastating than having poor health care.  Appointments are often late, even when I’m the first appointment.  Schedules get screwed up.  Appointments cancelled for no reason, sometimes without notice.

Over the last year, I made 3 appointments with my primary care physician only to have them cancelled by the VA.  I’d reschedule and that one would get cancelled.  Then, my medication reaches its expiration and I need refills.  I call and am told I have a NEW doctor.  FINE!  I have to make an appointment.  I do and get the run around.  Call back 2 times before getting the appointment.  Find out at the appointment that my last doctor had retired 6 months prior, without letting me know, and I had 2 other appointments with her after retirement (which were cancelled) but scheduled none the less.  Who’s trained monkey do they have working there?

Well, next week I get the opportunity to go again.  This time to the new facility, which opened last month.  We shall see.  I have no faith in them at all.  I’m not even sure I like this new doctor of mine; but after only one appointment, I can’t be sure.  Let’s just say, I’m truly not looking forward to this appointment; but I’ll go like a good little girl.

So, with all that stated about a government run health care facility (and I’ve been to 6 different VAMC’s) you can see how I am skeptical about what the government can do for us.  Granted, when the system is running well, it can be tolerable; but for the most part, it is a hassle and hard to deal with.  As a matter of fact, my head hurts so bad after an appointment I can only go home and go to bed.  It is never simple.

For those without health care, I am sorry.  For those who are forced to take on insurance they can’t afford, I am sorry.  This country is going to hell quickly.  When our government officials make 4x’s the amount of the average citizen, something is wrong.  We’re a country of the rich getting richer and the poor being oppressed.  Where’s the middle class?  What middle class?!!!!!



Shining Star

My shining star.  Given to me, a gift from God.  Oh, my beautiful little boy.  God knew I needed you for the heartache to come and he sent you my way, to help me become stronger, better and I am grateful.

I have watch you grow from tiny little infant.  Learning, growing, exploring.  You captured my heart from the first moment I knew you grew within me.  Oh how I rejoice in God’s gift to me.

You started school and I watched you learn.  You developed into such a smart young boy.  I am thrilled with the way you have never lost your caring, loving ways.  You are my handsome boy.

Now, just turned a teen, I see the young man you are becoming and I smile.  I want to protect you from some of the things I know you will need to go through; but as a woman, I know you have to go through them alone.  We all do.  The mom in me wants to protect you from all that is bad.  You are a beautiful person.

You play drums.  You play tuba.  You love your best friend and to play games with him.  You have a great sense of humor, so much like my own.  You make me laugh.  You have a sensative soul.  You are growing into such a wonderful young man.  I so love you.

I know I still have time.  I know you are still growing into a man.  I know we will be together for some time.  I just want to tell you that I am proud of you.  You have lived through so much and survived.

You are my shining star.  I love you so much.  I am proud of you.  You are growing into a man that anyone will be proud to know.

House of Lies

Dear Heart,

I love you.  I’ve loved you from the moment you cried with me over the loss of my child.  A child that didn’t even belong to you.  You seduced me with your charm.  I fell….HARD!!!!

For the next 14 years, I lived a lie.  I learned to hide my situation from outsiders.  The only problem is, I loved a LIE!  The man you pretended to be never existed.  I saw who you were too late.  It was almost so late that you nearly killed me.

How can a person be so evil?  I had to find the reasons.  I’ve read books…….lots of books.  I’ve discovered the truth.

Hindsight is 20/20.  Oh, if only I had seen the signs.  If only I was smarter.  If only…….

However, despite it all, I am grateful that I have my son.  He is the only good thing to come from all these lies.  He is my shining star.  He makes the pain and heartache worth it.

How did I get here?  By believing an older man who lied, tricked and deceived so many to perpetuate a house of cards.  Too bad the blinders were ripped off and the house fell down.  You hurt so many people and still do.  I’m just glad to have escaped it.

I can only imagine the number of women you have deceived, slept with, hurt.  I can only imagine the abandonment, hurt and heartache that your children feel about you.  I can only imagine how differently my life could have been had I never met you.

You are a psychopath.  You have no consceince You use whatever you can to get what you want.  You do whatever makes you happy; but never cared about who you hurt in the process.

You cheated, then blamed me.

I needed you, you were never there.

You beat me, tried to break my neck, lied about it and you didn’t care.

YOU BLAMED ME for YOUR actions.

You attacked children, treating them as your equals and made fun of them for crying.  You then denied you did anything wrong.  Have you EVER admitted your fault?

So many times, I was foolish enough to let bad situations go with a mere apology.  I am a fool.

The blinders were ripped off my eyes 3 1/2 years ago.  I AM FREE!  I am out of your reach.  I am a victim no more.

My son and I went to therapy.  We learned so much about how we were no responsible for what you had done to us.  YOU were the bad guy, not us.  You were the one who hurt us.  You were the one who lied and deceived.  We are now new people, who have become stronger than who we were under your control.

For us, you were a lie that never existed.  We have each other, you have no one; but yourself.  We are far richer than you will ever be or know.