Walmart Nuts!

So, I go to Wal-Mart this evening and as I’m leaving the store, I’m nearly run over by some jerk who is drinking a beer and racing in front of the store in his car.  This is amazing!  Why is it that Wal-Mart seems to attacked such jerks?  This is not the first time, either.

Okay, so I live in SW Florida and each winter or BIRD SEASON as I like to call it, flocks and flocks of snow birds head south to invade the area.  This turns our sedate roads into a mecca of old people, bad drivers, rude visitors and a reason to hide from the outside world.  Go to Wal-Mart on any given day and you are likely to find the aisles blocked with carts directly in the center with its operator further blocking the aisle with aimless staring at products on the shelf.  Or these same people rudely pushing their way in front of you, cutting you off, without a backward glance.  Not even an “excuse me” to get by, just a push forward, screw you.

I can’t even begin to tell you about how clogged up the roadways are now.  The normal 20 minute drive escalates to 45 minutes and a short trip to the grocery store takes twice as long as well.  Parking is a nightmare as well.  I’m over the bird season.  I’m counting the days until they migrate north again and leave the area.

We also have a lot of Spanish people in our area.  I have nothing against any person what-so-ever (black/white/Chinese/Spanish, etc.).  This is just an observation though.  The local Spanish community are very family oriented.  This leads to a “group” effort when they go shopping.  Grandma, Mom and Dad plus children all track on down to the local Wal-Mart to shop together.  When their entourage goes shopping, they converge on the aisles like locust on crops.  They don’t speak English or pretend not to and block you as best they can from what you try to get.

I HATE SHOPPING!!!!

I write a list.  I go through the store, following my list, get my stuff and go.  I don’t like to idle in the aisles, leisurely stroll down them looking for things I don’t need, etc.  I like to get in and get out.  I want to shop unfettered, just getting what I need and leaving.  I don’t even like to take my kid with me; because he (at 13) still holds onto the cart and walks beside me like he’s afraid I’m going to ditch him there.  Drives me nuts!!!

Of course, if you have ever seen the photos from Wal-Mart site, you understand the loony’s who shop there.  I also know that since I shop there myself (low prices and all) that I must also be one of them. 🙂  No denying it.  I must be a glutton for punishment as I still trek there each week for the essentials.  Wal-Mart, why do you do this to us?

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He Loves Me Not

He Loves Me Not by Christine Kersey is the latest book I’ve read.  I’ve been reading A LOT of books lately (like one every other day) on the kindle; but this one struck a chord in me.  As I read Lily’s story of a whirlwind romance, marriage and ride of terror, it reminded me of my own past.  How naïve I’d been when I, like Lily, saw signs that pointed to the true nature of my spouses  personality, only to not believe it.  It is so easy to not believe the monster is truly a monster when the monster is such a good actor.  My personal monster was a psychopath with no conscience at all, not a feeling of guilt or remorse ever crossed his thoughts and lying straight-faced is a common occurrence for him.

As I watched Lily question herself, I remembered questioning myself in the same way.  Making excuses for his misdeeds as if my love alone could heal him.  How wrong we are.  These people blame us when they lose control.  We’re the ones at fault.  ALWAYS!  It’s strange what we’re willing to accept, what we’re willing to look the other way on and how we try to make amends for the things that they do.

My heart ached for Lily as she struggled.  She is so like so many others who get trapped in these types of relationships.  I was lucky to escape and so was she.  Of course, there is a second book; but I’m not there yet. 🙂

Each day, I am more and more grateful that I was able to get away with my life.  I was fortunate enough to have lived through it.  Not many who escape are that lucky.  When leaving a violent spouse (male or female) it is the most dangerous time.  Abuse escalates and can lead to death.

Like Lily, my spouse was in jail at the time of my escape.  Mine was in jail for nearly killing me, whereas her spouse was in for car theft.  No matter the reason, we were both free to escape our tormentors.  Reflecting upon my experience, I now see that I should’ve run FAR, FAR away at the first hint of danger; but the fool that I am, I stayed.  Love makes us blind sometimes; but it also made me (and Lily) deaf and dumb as well.  I wish I could say I regret it or if I could go back with full knowledge I’d not do it again; because I wouldn’t have my son.  Yes, the life was full of danger; but there are some things you just can’t change.

I will always love my ex for giving me my son; but anything more, not so much.  I don’t hate him; but I don’t like him either.  I mostly feel sorry for him.  He will never feel the love of another person.  He’ll never know the safety of being with someone who cares for you.  He is without feelings and has to live his life as an actor, constantly pretending to be who he isn’t.   I can only imagine how hard it must be for someone to constantly pretend to be something they’re not.  Too much energy if you ask me.

Anyway, it was a good book, if you can stomach the abuse.  It’s not too bad; mostly verbal and a bit of physical, not too graphic, though.  Of course, I read “Rose Madder” by Stephen King years ago before I was married and that one is very graphic and nowhere near the mellow story of “He Loves Me Not”.  But, that’s another blog. 🙂