I never really discuss my family with people; because our history is skewed. UGH! Most people don’t get it; but hey, whatever. Life is strange. Anyway, I am going to relate it as best I can.
My dad was born a bastard in 1946 and raised by his grandparents and an aunt. His mother, married a man and moved off to California with him and later had several other children. From what I understand, he only saw her one other time before her death in the mid 80’s. Nana died early as well and for the most part, his Aunt Dotty and Grandfather were his parents. Aunt Dotty became my “Grandma” growing up; because she rated the honor as his real mother. I loved her dearly, right up to the end. She married when I was almost 2 years old to her long time boyfriend at the age of 50 and lived with him until his death in 1994. She then moved in with my parents until her death in 1999. She was one of my favorite people in the world. I still love her dearly and miss her so much. She was one terrific lady.
My mom, on the other hand, was the baby of the family. Lucky #13 in the litter. Even though she was the youngest, she was so far from the favorite. Her oldest brother had marriage troubles and an alcoholic wife, so for the most part, Mom’s mom raised his children right alongside my mother. She was no longer the baby. Because her mother adored her youngest son (mom’s older brother by 4 years) that when my mother was abused by said brother, her mother turned her back on her. Mom was kicked out of her home at the age of 16 years. She was then shuffled between her sisters for the next two years.
During this time, Mom was dating Dad. 🙂 Dad enlisted in the USMC in 1964. After boot camp, he was stationed in Jacksonville, NC at Camp Lejeune. Mom moved down shortly after he went there and lived in a little town called Holly Ridge, NC. They rented a place from a couple who I grew up calling Grandma & Grandpa. Grandma became her foster mother, helping her get a job, being with her when my dad headed off to Nam after Motor T school and comforting her when she lost her son. Grandma became such an important part of our lives. As a matter of fact, I still call Grandma’s children my Aunts & Uncles and consider their children cousins. Blood or not, they’re family and I love them. This definitely makes our family even larger!!!! We love it!
Onto the reason behind this post. Anytime I have a friend who is even slightly older than I am (10 or more years) my mother automatically tells all and sundry that I have a “Mother Figure” in her. Personally, I am not looking to replace my mother, no matter the distance between myself and my own mother — I HAVE ONLY ONE MOTHER!!!! Drives me NUTS!!! It’s almost like she can’t understand that I like people regardless of their age and that I am not looking to replace her like she was her mother. UGH!!! Makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes.
Of course, my Ex and I had 13 years between us and she asked me if I was looking for a father figure in him and I told her off. She couldn’t seem to understand that AGE IS A NUMBER!!! I don’t know. Anyway, what is 10 years in the grand scheme of things? I sometimes think that her skewed way of thinking has left her as a perpetual 16 year old. It is like she stopped growing mentally once her mother kicked her out. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She just has a strange way of thinking and sometimes, she drives me nuts!
Like I tell her all the time: Life doesn’t come with an instruction book. We do the best we can with what we have and that is all that we can do in this life. We make mistakes, we stumble, we fall and we get back up. That is life.
My family may be a little off; but I’m strange that way, I LIKE THEM! 🙂