Being a Mom

Being a mom in this day and age is hard. We have to compete with electronic devices, outside influences & other things that we happen on a day to day basis. What do I mean? Let me explain.

Electronic devices! UGH! From the Xbox 360 to the Kindle, I’m competing day in and day out with people he has never met that seem to know more than me or even better than me. The Xbox is his gaming community of friends. They influence him with the need to have the next, latest and greatest games to come out each month. This means money and we live on a limited budget.

The computer. The cyber world, especially youtube videos, have captured his interest. He loves to watch videos on all sorts of things such as games, comedy, movie shorts and music. He laughs, sings, etc. at these videos and they have an influence.

His Kindle is the latest device. I thought he’d use it for reading and movies; but he has discovered facebook on it and now he is chatting away with friends from all over and even though I monitor his emails and chats due to a mutual agreement, I still feel that the influence of these friends, from far off places, is very hard.

So, he asks me again today about getting him his own cell phone. I’m not ready for it. He doesn’t need it, so why do I need to get it for him? He already has social media devices, gaming devices and such, he doesn’t need a phone as well, in my opinion. So, I’m one the fence. We shall see.

I, personally, don’t believe that he needs the latest and greatest in everything. My parents didn’t spoil me with the newest things in life and I refuse to do that for him. I worked hard and earned my rewards in life. I believe he needs to do the same. He is only going to be 14 and I think he needs to also mature a bit more before being given all he desires.

I have rules. Until he is graduated & 18 years old, I know his passwords and can read his emails or facebook chats at any time and for any reason. He’s agreed to this and I am glad we have reached this understanding. I hope it isn’t hard to as time goes on for the two of us; but I know he loves and respects me, so I have hope. Plus I pray and pray and pray to the Lord for his protection of my boy.

So, I do the best I can with what I have, battle the influences and pray for the best. I know my parents didn’t have it as hard as I do; but know it was not easy for them either. Thanks, Mom & Dad for what you did for us girls growing up. You were great for what you were able to do for us. 🙂

Social Media or Social Disaster?

I have a “friend” who is on my social media page and her latest stuff is crazy. She is married posting things about how a woman should be treated. She then posts how he will “lose her” if he’s not careful. Then she further goes on to state that she loves him. And then the cycle repeats itself. He is also on my friends list. He hasn’t posted anything in MONTHS, leading me to believe he is not a “media” monger.

Now, in my opinion, she should be working on her marriage more and not posting a bunch of crap on the internet. She should get off the computer, phone, tablet (whatever) and work on the problems, not finding “resources” for complaining about the problem.

When I was married, I did everything I could to save my marriage. I couldn’t because my partner was an abuser. However, if I was able to change the abuse, I would do whatever it took to save it. Marriage is a contract between two people, who vow to love one another FOREVER! It is not disposable. It is not to be taken lightly. It is about staying in the good times as well as the bad. It is about building a life together and when the times get tough, working to achieve harmony between each other so that you can move forward.

Marriage is NOT a place to sling faults into each other’s faces. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about weathering the storms life puts you through and still being able to wake up with your partner the next day.

The strongest marriages I’ve seen have tested the sands of time. My parents have spent 48 years married and 50 years together this year. They have weathered unemployment, jobs they hated, illnesses, broken bones, surgeries, loss of a child, children that were far from perfect, a grandchild out of wedlock, anger, loss of a house, loss of loved ones, moves, dishonest neighbors, alcohol problems, etc. They did not run and hide when the times were tough. They STAYED and worked out the problems.

When I see the divorce rate today or see things in the media about 100 day marriages or social media fall out, I wonder how our lives got so out of control that we feel relationships are so easily made and discarded. I’m saddened by the deterioration of relationships in this world. 😦

Maybe I’m too jaded. I’m longing for the “happily ever after” I used to have and when I see that social media is destroying a short time marriage, I lose heart of that forever.

End of rant. BTW, NO, I can’t talk to her, she’s not receptive to the talk nor is she interested in anyone butting into her business, despite the fact that she puts it out there. UGH!

Who am I?

Sometimes I seem to forget just who I am. I’m a woman, first and foremost. I am a child of God. I am a mother, a divorcee, a retired Marine, a church goer, a maid, a dog mom, a cook, a taxi driver, a coordinator, a singer, a dancer, a sometimes romancer, and a basically good person. I read a lot of books, websites, Facebook posts, and blogs. I scrapbook, make cards, sew, and generally craft things.

Am I defined by what I do or what I think or where I am or what? What defines me? Is it my high IQ? My body make up? My disabilities? My pain? What makes me – ME! I’m lost. I’m found. I’m here. I’m there.

Veronica, Roni, Mom, Aunt, sister, daughter, parent, friend, cousin…….

I’m all of these and more. Each day I’m a newly developed me. Each day I start with a fresh page and I paint the canvas of my life with new and interesting journeys. Whether those journeys are just to the bus stop and back or across town or on an ocean voyage, I begin anew each day. The barnacles from yesterday’s hull are scraped clean and I am whole once again.

Each night, I lay aside the paintbrush and let the day’s adventure dry. I pray each night to God and share my life with him. I share my gratitude for Him and what he has done for me that day. I praise him for the gifts and I share my sorrows. I give Him the things I cannot handle. I trust Him to take care of my needs and I got to sleep, sheltered in His protection for my life. I arise the next morning, refreshed and renewed and I begin again with the day HE has given me.

I look out at the world around me and I wish no one my pain, my sorrow or my grief. I wish you all more than I have and can give. I can no longer life in the past, with regrets, with defeat. I can only live for the moments I am given right now. So, right now, I am a mom. I’m sitting on the sofa, typing away, as I listen to my son talk to a friend in his bedroom and I am lucky. I am grateful and I am happy.