My friend just lost her husband of 34 years and the hurt is so evident in her face, stance and definitely in her heart. She’s so confused; because for 34 years, he took total care of her. He made sure she was clothed, fed, sheltered, etc. She wanted for nothing and she was happy. Now, she’s in confusion over where she stands financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
She knows that her husband is out of pain, in the embrace of our heavenly father and she’s okay with that. The problem lies in the “What now?”. I wish I could help her more. Right now, she is with family, mourning; but I do know the time will come when she will depend on her friends and I want to be there for her.
For me, the whole financial aspect of her relationship with her husband has never been a part of my life. I’ve never had to depend on a man for financial support. I’ve always been the one who has taken care of the finances. It seems strange to me that a woman would willingly give herself over to a man and not know what is going on. However, with that said, my mom & dad are the same way and they’ve been together for the last 50 years.
Today, friends were discussing her appointments and another of our group also confessed that her husband takes care of their finances as well and she would be lost. WOW! I guess it is the way things always were for our past generations. I would have loved to have someone to share the burden with when I was married; but my Ex was not “responsible” for ANYTHING, not even our finances!!!! Heck, he couldn’t pay a bill to save his life. I don’t know how he is surviving right now; but to be completely honest, I DON’T GIVE A F*CK!!!!
Anyway, I’m grieving the loss of a wonderful man, husband, father & friend. I’m grieving the loss of a sweet man who loved his wife so much and left her alone. Most of all, I’m grieving for my friend, who is such a wonderful woman, who spent 34 years with the love of her life and praying that she will muddle through this process and be okay. I love her dearly.