Trapped in Pain

It’s summer again and I am trapped inside my pain filled body. Summer storms are abounding and this creates the most immense amounts of pain in my face. For the last three weeks, we’ve had afternoon storms that I have left me paralyze with pain. Some days are much worse than others. Don’t get me wrong, I am in pain 24/7 for the last 22 years; but storms make it 10x’s worse. Storms are my enemy.

Of course, cold, wind, rain, anything that brushes my face like my hair or a kiss, smiling, chewing, facial expressions, sneezing, brushing your teeth, etc. creates pain. Imagine kissing someone and getting an electrical shock shooting through your face. Or drinking a beverage — cold or hot — and feeling a stabbing pain in the face. Trigeminal Neuralgia SUCKS!!!!

I leaned over and kissed my son. ZAP!!! The wind is blowing and it cuts through my face like a knife. My hair brushes against my cheek and I am reeling from the pain. I’m so tired of the pain. I feel I’ve suffered enough. Isn’t 22 year long enough? When will it end?

I have no options. There is no cure. Surgery won’t fix it. Medications have yet to work. Narcotics just make me sleep and don’t even dull the pain. I have no resolution to this unending torture.

Tonight the pain is bad. It is making me sick. My stomach is rolling. My eyes can’t handle the light. The external noise is deafening. My breathing is shallow; because each breath is painful. I crave the darkness and to escape in sleep; but it eludes me.

My little Teddy is cuddled up close to me. My forehead is throbbing with my pulse. I’m trying desperately not to clench my jaw, which only makes it worse.

It’s not easy living with TN. As a matter of fact, it is a nightmare. I don’t wish this on anyone, ever. I have no idea how much longer I will suffer; but God will take care of me, of that I have no doubt.


Little Sophia

I recently “met” a little lady named Sophia over the internet. The moment I saw her photo, I knew there was something about her that touched me. Her eyes, so beautiful, spoke to me in a way I can’t explain. We are kindred spirits.
sophia runs

What’s so special about this little lady? I’ll tell you. She was abused by her owners!!!! After being abused, she was lucky enough to find a “forever” home with Tara & Rocco, who treat her like a princess.

Her story, is one of heroism. She survived horrible abuse and lived. This three pound dog was able to overcome such a truly horrendous, painful existence and now flourishes. What a beautiful story.

Abuse, on any level, is abhorrent. Mental, verbal or emotional abuse to any person or animal is something that should bring shame to the abusers. I applaud those who have faced, overcome and thrived after abuse. Yes, I cry when I see the ASPCA commercials on TV. I cry when I read about abused animals in the news. My heart is filled with such love and compassion for these babies. When I see children or women or even men who have been abused my heart bleeds. The world is full of bullies and abusers and we need to stop these people from their abusive ways. Shame on them!

Little Sophia is a source of inspiration. She smiles, she loves and she has a wonderful home. I’m proud to call her a “friend”. When I am depressed because of my own past abuse, I look upon her face and KNOW that I survived, that I will thrive and I will be okay.

My own Pomeranian, Teddy, is a source of joy and love for me each day. He keeps me balanced and I’d not trade him for anyone in the world. He is my best friend and I love him. God Bless those who have survived abuse by another. Let them survive and thrive.

Meet Little Sophia here: