So, tonight, while having a chat on messenger, I was made the fool. I was lied to about something there was no reason to lie to me about. I would rather be hurt with the truth then lied to. I really trusted this person not to hurt me like every other man has always done; but once again, I have been stabbed, in the heart, by someone who would rather lie to me than just tell me that they want me to fuck off.
I’m blunt and to the point in my honesty and I expect others to be the same. The fact that I truly believe others will be like me is my own stupidity at work. This person shared a photo of a woman he is interested in. To me, she looked familiar; but I went with it. It bugged me, so I went to his timeline and low and behold, there she is, HIS COUSIN! LOL! WOW! I thought incest was a thing of the past; but am I a fool. Ha, ha.
Look, I’m a big girl. You’re not interested, say so. You want me to fuck off? TELL ME! Don’t lie to me. I can take it. I may not like it; but I can take it.
This past week has been hard on me, pain wise. I have a low tolerance for other hurts on top of my pain, so this hurt me bad. I cried. This is a person I care about and pray for. I will continue to pray for him and his healing. I would even pray for his relationship with another, because I believe that everyone deserves happiness. My heart is so full of love that I’d rather someone be happy with another than to be a bitch. What would the point be? They don’t want me but someone else, so why be bitter? I truly want true love to prevail, even if it’s not with me. (Unique, huh?)
Anyway, my feelings are hurt. My trust is shattered and I did tell him off, nicely. I had a husband that lied to me all the time. I had a best friend who lied to me, stole from me and treated me like crap and I have to tell you, those two men hurt me a lot. I’ve also had friends who betrayed me who were women, so I do have trust issues. <sigh> And yet, I still have faith in humanity.
I guess the hardest part is knowing I was lied to when the truth would have been so much easier.