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Anger & Sadness

Dear Leif,

This will make the 2nd Thanksgiving you fucked me over!  The first one in 2014 when you tried to kill yourself and were an inpatient at the VA Bay Pines and now, this year, you had to die on me in September!  Thanks!  Some best friend you turned out to be. Ha, ha.

I miss you.  I miss how much we used to laugh.  Momma Bear, Michigan J. Frog, “sound effects”, and so much more.  You’re not here anymore.  I’m so sorry.

You’re probably laughing at me right now.  Jose Cuervo and I are celebrating together.  We both know that I’ll out last him.  Jose can’t compete with a crazy Irish gal.  “Don’t ask her on a straight Tequila night….”  BTW, drinking it straight from the bottle isn’t classy, I know, but who’s going to see me do it?  I was going to get all the stuff to make Twilight Zones; but you know I can’t resist my main man. Ha, ha.  We also know that this is not a normal thing for me.  I’m celebrating your life.  Cheers, BF!

The boy, of course, is hiding in his “mole cave” as usual.   I’m sure you know that Doug dropped dead.  You must be laughing at his dance in hell.    At least you’re not there.  I have the blessed assurance that you are in heaven.

Drove Anastasia to the airport at 4 am this morning.  So glad I could help her out.  I’m keeping busy these days.  Started painting again.  I’m making jewelry.  We decided to do a Nightmare Before Christmas themed tree this year, so I made ornaments.  We’re going to use that white tree again that you got for $5 two years ago. Will put her up tomorrow.

Finally found a place for all the shawls I made.  Donated them.  Going to be donating the hats, too.  I’m sure you know I’m downsizing.  I found a place to get rid of my books, too.  Don’t need all this shit.  You’ve told me that for years; but I’ve finally come to that realization myself and believe me, I won’t be able to move after the boy graduates with all this junk.  Who knows where I will end up?

I talked to Doris yesterday.  Your brother, Bob, is taking your passing really hard.  His guilt over not coming to see you is eating him up.  She says he’s skin and bones and constantly looks at the album and photos I sent to him.  He’s with Eric and your mom today.  Eric is still fighting with Kurt about the bs charges and the attorney told him he’d drop them for $2000.  We all know Kurt just wants money.  He’s so much like your father.  PURE EVIL!  I guess Bob is clinging to the only brother he has left, since they have both disowned Kurt for his crap.  Your mom is comfortable and they finally ran Erin off by not letting her call & make her upset.

I think I’ll make the Christmas cards this weekend and get them ready for mailing on the first.  I’m up to 4 miles on my bike and am thinking I may have to do something else to help with the “getting better” health.  This past week has been hard.  The pain has been excruciating in my face.  I’ve prayed for death.  I’m still here. 😀

Made a small turkey, walnut cranberry stuffing, rutabaga, green bean casserole, my creamy smashed potatoes, gravy and rolls.  Ian stuffed himself.  Turkey fell off the bone.

I think I’m going to sing today.  Maybe it will help.  Maybe it won’t.  We shall see.  Miss you, big guy.  Guard those gates well, Marine.  I’ll see you when I get there.  XO


About irishgoddess1337

Retired Marine, Christian who survived Domestic Violence, living with Lupus, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, Migraine, TMJ, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Sleep Apnea and living my life for Jesus! My son is a Senior this year!! YIKES! I love music! My son plays drums in his High School Marching Band & Percussion group. We live with three fur babies -- Tippy the Corgi and Honi & Teddy the Poms. I scrapbook, stamp and make rag dolls for fun! I've recently started acrylic painting and making jewelry. Life is good!

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