Help?

In a world full of busy people, sometimes help isn’t always available to those who need it without you paying a price.  It’s why I have AAA.  I don’t have anyone to depend on in this life but myself.  It’s a shame; but it is a fact.

I write this post today; because I am reading a book that gave me a revelation about myself.  I am a man.  Yup.  That’s right.  My dad raised me to be self sufficient and not need to depend on anyone but myself.  I can change a tire from the rim out.  I can fix many minor auto repairs without assistance.   I take care of all the things I need doing in my life and go for what I want.  I set goals, I achieve them and depend on me for everything.

My son will be going away to college in the fall of 2018.  I am already downsizing a three bedroom house so that I can get a much smaller, less expensive place on my own.

Now, with the realization that I act more like a man than I probably should, it has come to my attention that I am the reason all my relationships have failed because of this simple fact.  I chase and I don’t wait.  UGH!  I am ruining my own life!  No wonder I have always been one of the “guys”.  I can’t get a man or keep one.

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was ask for help from someone else.  It is incredibly hard to do, so when I ask, it is because I truly need it.  Now, for me, their is a difference between help and assistance.  Assistance is for things like reaching stuff that is too high for me to reach or a two person job that requires two people.  Help is when I can’t do it myself.  Like a need for advice or something that needs doing that I physically can’t do.  Though, I do admit, can’t is barely in my vocabulary.  I don’t even include professions such as nail techs, doctors, dentists, social work, etc. that I can pay for, but things that you can’t pay for.  I hope that makes sense.

I’ve come to the conclusion that what my father tried to do in making us the way we are has been the biggest mistake of my life.  I once had one of my guy friends say something to me that really hurt my feelings.  I got upset and burst into tears.  After I had calmed down, he apologized and said, “You are so tough and strong and one of the guys that I forget your still a girl and should be treated like one.”  WTH?

So, here I am, alone, which I believe I will always be, because let’s be honest, no man wants to compete with his woman to do the man stuff.  <sigh>

Hmmmm

I was just reading a Fifteen Ungrateful People stories and couldn’t help but think of my middle sister.  I’ve always been a sharer.  I’ve always been a struggler.  I’ve always been the shy, needed to shrink into the corner and be unseen, don’t notice me person.  My sister, on the other hand, always needs to be the center of attention.

Each year, growing up, my parents gave us the Sears Wish book and a $100 limit for Christmas.  We’d make our lists and my mom would fulfill our dreams per the limit.  My middle sister was a sleeper.  She loved to sleep, except on Christmas, she would be the first one up, go out and sort our gifts into respective piles per name and then wake us all up.  She’d then cry about how so & so got more gifts than she did.  She’d turn a beautiful day into hell by being a total greedy bitch.  She’s 46 and still this way today.  UGH!

This is not just a holiday thing, though.  Both of my sisters are born in the summer.  My mom always made sure they had great parties for their birthdays.  No skin off my nose. I never really had parties for mine; because it is Halloween and I CHOSE to go out to Trick or Treat rather than have a party.  My choice.  One summer, we were out of town for her birthday on vacation and went to an amusement park instead of having a party for her.  She was so ticked off when we got back and the parents told her that she couldn’t have a party; because they had taken us to the park instead.  Let’s just say, “Hell hath no fury” like a pissed off brat.

For me, I’ve never even cared.  I had to wait to be 8 to get a Barbie doll.  My sister got one, too; but it was great for me because I now had someone to play “Barbies” with.  I had to be 10 in order to go to town by myself.  My sister, who was 8, went with me.  My mom walked me to the bus everyday when I started school.  My younger sister met me there in the afternoon, without my mom, to walk me home. LOL!  My sister was my tormentor for years.  She loved to beat me up and because I never fought back, I was an easy target.  It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I learned to fight back and by then, I knew how to fight, so she laid off for the most part.

Fast forward.  My sister is 21 and pregnant.  She goes into labor.  She has my nephew.  My parents spend the two days she’s in the hospital turning the family room into a room for her and the baby.  New furniture for both, carpets, painted walls, etc.  Her complaint?  They never came to the hospital to see her when the baby was born.  How dare they?  This was especially upsetting to her when my parents spent from 9 am until 7 pm with my Ex & I as I was in labor in the delivery suite with us.  Of course, I had everything taken care of and didn’t need them to do anything, but let’s not go there.  Plus, I nearly died and was fighting for my life during 8 of those hours. SMH.

My sister was given a brand new car after she had my nephew at 21; because my dad wanted to make sure she and the baby were safe.  Never did that for me or the baby sister.

Repeatedly told my mother, while we were growing up, that she was an embarrassment to her.  Stayed out from Friday after school until Sunday evening without even calling home.  Got drunk on more than one occasion during high school, only to be “punished” with a hang over.  Smoked pot on a regular basis as well as cigarettes and didn’t care that my parents knew it.

When my 2nd nephew came along after she was married and in her 30’s, she had her son baptized in March at 4 months old.  We spent two weeks up with her and my parents were driving up from Florida for the weekend of and staying a week.  Well, a Nor’easter came through and prevented travel up to  NY and they couldn’t make it.  SHE PITCHED A FIT!  She proceeded to tell everyone who would listen that my parents did it on purpose, they never do anything for her and once again she is the victim.

I couldn’t believe it.  What’s worse is that she was still complaining to me about it in June.  I finally had had enough and told her to stop telling me about it and tell them.  She screamed at me and hung up.  Well, I get a call from my mom who is really upset and hear all about how they just got a phone call from her and she cursed them out.  I explained it all to my mom, who was hurt, and my sister didn’t talk to me for several years.

Two summers ago, my son goes with my parents for two months on vacation.  They visit with my sister and her family in Texas before and after going out west.  My sister proceeded to tell my son every rotten thing she can imagine about me.  She tells lies and half truths to make herself look good and me look bad.  My son came home and told me he’d never go out to see her again.  She wouldn’t let him babysit her daughter, he wasn’t old enough.  He was 15, going on  16 and he’s very responsible.  She told my mother he couldn’t stay in the house alone, he was too young.  SMH — she’s nuts.

Last year, I get a call from the lunatic because I talked to my brother in law while they were in the midst of getting a divorce.  We talked more than my sister and I, so it never occurred to me that it was an act of treason.  I had simply told my brother in law to remember the good times and the love.  To remember that at one time, she was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.  That they have two children together and she is still their mother.  To keep it civil for their sakes and to always remember the love they once shared and how my sister did work three jobs to keep them afloat when he got disabled and couldn’t work.

HOLY HELL!  You’d think I had committed an act worthy of the death penalty.  The blistering phone call I received was harsh. I was told to keep my nose out of her business, never call her again.  Butt out of her life and to not take “his side” in this because I didn’t know both sides.  WOW!  I hadn’t taken sides; but you couldn’t tell her that.

So, I was in exile, once again.  Leif goes into Hospice care and she sends me an email that she’s “there for me”.   In other words, tell me what’s going on so I have something to gossip about.  I ignore her.  I don’t need her.  Leif dies and two hours later, my phone rings and it is her.  I don’t answer.  She leaves a message I don’t listen to and I send her a text to “butt out of my life.”

IMO, if she’s too good to have me in her life, then I don’t want her in mine.  So, she sends me an email telling me that I am psychotic and in desperate need of mental help.  I laughed at that and still haven’t spoken to her.  I just had to cut her out of my life like I would cancer.  I don’t need that type of negativity in my life.

Granted, I’m no saint.  However, I have treated her far better than she’s ever treated me.

Yesterday, I had lunch with my son, mother and baby sister at Cracker Barrel and it was pleasant enough.  Hadn’t seen or talked to baby sister since 2010.  We have nothing in common and just don’t talk. She lives in upstate NY with her two cats.   Never married, no children and a massage therapist.

Here’s the link that sparked this post:

http://www.brainjet.com/random/1582992/15-annoying-examples-of-ungrateful-people-showing-their-true-colors/?_fc=1582992&utm_campaign=bnj-fbk-d-us-058b0420&story_page=8&utm_source=fbk&_fcs=

 

Christmas Celebrations

We started off our Christmas with church service last night at 6 pm.  Our Pastor read Luke 2:12-20 about the shepherds, who were the first to hear the good news of the birth of our Savior.  He reminded us of how the shepherds of the day were the lowest class of citizens in that time and how it is strange that God would tell the “least” instead of the “best” of the day.  I believe he did this; because he loves us all equally and does not judge us by class.  Whatever the reasoning, it is God who made it and one we will never truly know why.

After coming home, we opened our stockings.  My son got me a miniature “Newt Scamander” from Fantastic Beasts Pop figure.  So love it!  I got him 2 tie clips and two boxes of candy.

At midnight, he insisted on us opening our gifts and handed me mine.  It was a Retron 2 system for NES/SNES games.  My original SNES game, which I received for Christmas in 1995, died a week and a half ago and this was the PERFECT replacement gift.  He’s a great kid.

I, of course, got him several ties, along with new drum heads, a new kick pedal and a cymbal.  He was thrilled with his haul.  Two of his ties were music themed, which he loved and I was happy he loved his things.  I don’t mind getting him things he needs when I can.

For dinner, I made London Broil on the grill, mashed potatoes, sweet potato, green beans and gravy.  Oh and I had some shrimp on the side.  He ate more than half the meat on his own.  No fear he’ll be a vegetarian. Ha, ha.

A great Christmas miracle came when the Steelers won against the Ravens.  I screamed, I yelled, I acted like a lunatic and they pulled it off in the last minute and a half.  WTG Pittsburgh.  My son thinks I am insane and laughed at me several times when I was screaming at the TV.  Hey, I’ve been like this since my USMC days when I first became a fan of theirs. LOL!

I sent several texts to my mother wondering what she was up to but received no response until a few minutes ago.  Merry Christmas received, “Sorry, I was busy.”  I have to stop expecting so much more than I ever receive. <sigh>

Watching the Librarians on TNT now and wondering how I’ll be spending the next two weeks with the kid off from school.

I hope everyone had an enjoyable day, either celebrating Christmas or Chanukah.

Merry Christmas

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It’s been a hell of a year.  I am so glad that next week is a new year.  I’m so over this one already.  With that said, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all who follow and read this blog.  TY for taking the time to do so.

My son asked me if we can do stockings after church tomorrow night and presents on Christmas morning.  Sure, why not?  I’m really looking forward to church tomorrow night.  I’ve been so absorbed in our Pastor’s services this month.  He’s brought even greater meaning to the events of long ago and tomorrow will be the climax of the season.

Our Women’s Bible Study is on break until January 11th, so I am doing one on my own called “Anchored”.  It’s about women who have lost babies and how to deal.  I lost my two angels 23 and 21 years ago.  I put the grief on the back burner for various reasons and never fully grieved their losses.  Last January, when my 2nd would have turned 21 it hit me hard.  WOW!  When I discussed it with my friend, she told me that God protects us from the pain until we are strong enough to handle it and I guess it was finally time to deal with it.

Why it took so long, I’ll never know, however, with PTSD, things come back even years after the initial trauma, so I’m going to attribute it to this in my life.

My first baby was a shock.  Didn’t even know I was pregnant.  I found out and lost it in the same day.  My coworker and friend took me to the base clinic where I was transported by ambulance to the Naval Hospital for emergency surgery.  It was a tubal pregnancy and due to the blockage of endometrium, had no where to go; but expand the tube until it burst.  Not pleasant and extremely painful.  I guess it was a blessing in disguise; because the father, the only guy I had slept with in months, had disappeared and I later found out he was sent to a squadron and deployed.  Two weeks later, I had surgery on my jaw and my life ruined, so it was all part of the plan.  Ha, ha.

My second lasted for 10 weeks before my fallopian tube burst and I needed a D&C and exploratory surgery to find the fetus in my abdomen.  It was also a time I needed to “suck it up” because I had to comfort my mother who lost her son 28 years previous.  I can now grieve my loss without worry that I need to take care of her.

Anyway, the study has me really exploring my feelings and my gratitude to God for protecting me from the hurt for so long.  My two angels will meet me in heaven,  of that, I have no doubt.  I sometimes daydream about what it would be like to have them here with me; but that was never meant to be.

I also wonder if I would have contacted the man who fathered my first.  Would I have done it all on my own, without ever telling him?  I don’t know.  This life is so strange and I’d never want to trap a man that way.  It was not his fault.  I was not supposed to be able to get pregnant.  The fact that both were tubal just shows that the sperm was small enough to get through the blockage; but a fertilized egg could not.  Hell, when my son was born in 1999, the doctor told me after ,the C-section, that he was surprised that I became pregnant with all the shit blocking my insides.  The fact that I nearly died delivering the boy is another miracle of God’s that I am still here.

When I count my blessings, I count him twice.  My son is my miracle.  I’m so proud of the young man he has become.  I love him so very much and I can’t imagine my life without him and I wouldn’t want to, either.

The weather here, though it is warm still, has been miserable.  It’s messing with my body in a painful way.  I also have a sinus infection and couldn’t get into the doctor today, so I’m going to be suffering for the next few days until I can get into see him.

My heart longs for things that God is making me wait for.  😦  Elvis is singing “Blue Christmas” to me and I know that it is not by accident.  I keep getting signs from God that what I desire is possible; but I don’t want clues, I want the promise. LOL!  He is definitely teaching me patience.

My book is still coming along nicely.  I’m please with the results thus far.  Whether it is supposed to be a hit or not, does not matter.  What matters is that I put it down on paper and get it out of my head.

OH!!  I went to the comic book store and got the newest BW comics.  I’m thrilled.  They ordered the ones that they didn’t have and I should have them in a couple of weeks.  YEAH!  Thrilled.  Gosh, I’m so geeky. LOL!  Can’t run away from who I am, I guess.

My son and I have the next two weeks to spend together.  He wants me to take him up to the Russell Stover’s store and I guess we’ll do it one day next week.  I don’t look forward to the drive; but we’ll make it an adventure and have some fun on the way there and back.

My baby sister is spending the week with my parents.  She’s in from NY and we may have lunch with them on Monday.  We’ll see.   After a year of “low battery” message on my remote, they finally died today. Ha, ha.  Talk about eking out every drop of energy from them. 😛

I’m wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and many blessing from God your way.

 

Good Friends

Yesterday I met my friend Deb for lunch at Ruby Tuesdays.  We got there at 12ish and stayed until 5 pm just talking.  LOL!  We be crazy.  We laughed, we cried, we shared and we ate.  Due to the circumstances of the past year, we hadn’t had a chance to get together for a while; but she’s the type of friend that even if 5 years had passed, we’d pick up right where we left off.

Since life is now different for both of us, we’re going to see each other more often.  We’re going to start walking in the evenings together. I’m looking forward to it.  Life has really gotten simpler and I am just floating along on this lazy river of life.

All presents are wrapped and under the tree.  Grab bag gifts for my son’s party are ready and I just have to make the food.  Should be a fun time for those who attend.  I really like his friends, even the difficult ones.  Great group of young people who share some common interests.

Donated a bunch of things to locale Toys For Tots.  Took a big box of stuff to them this afternoon.  They needed “teens & tweens” stuff and we provided well for them.  I like to donate; because you never know when you might be in the same position.

Making “Spaghetti Grilled Cheese” tonight for dinner.  Saw a video on them and since we both LOVE spaghetti sandwiches, why not with gooey melted cheese, too!  Can’t wait to try’em.

Book is coming along nicely.  I’m burning up the keyboard with tales of sin.  I can hardly wait to share it.

Church tonight and next week’s service will be a joint service with our host church for Christmas Eve.  Our bible study on Wednesday was our last of the year and we begin again on January 11th.  I don’t know if I mentioned it previously; but our study is the book of Job.  It has been quite the journey.  Even knowing the outcome of his situation and the reason behind it, the struggle could be relatable to today.  I remind myself that I have to praise my Lord in the bad times as well as the good because HIS plan is so much more than what I have planned.

I am so over this year and the “bad” things that have happened that I look forward to putting it behind me so that God can deliver me to the next thing he has planned for my life.  Patience is easier said than done for me; but I am waiting as patiently as I can.

This week is full of 1/2 days and exams for the boy.  No school Friday and two full weeks off of school.  One of his friends is taking him out to Christmas shop this week.  He’s looking forward to that.  His Christmas Concert was Thursday night and he was great.  Mom & Dad came up to see it.  We then went out to dinner and closed the place.  Ha, ha.

We went to the comic book store yesterday and he got a new game and I got some comics.  They moved from a tiny little store front to a much larger one and it is so much nicer.  Had a video chat with my friend and saw how much her son loved the gift I sent to him.  She also shared a video of him “reading” their good night story and how he was singing “row, row, row your boat”.  So cute.  I love that little boy.  He’s 18 months old and I so much miss when my baby was that small.  ❤

I’ve gotta run…….

Bad day

Today is a bad pain day.  I’ve spent most of the day in bed.  My son is out with friends, so the house is empty except for me and the pooches.  I’ve spent a lot of time crying.  It’s two weeks until Christmas and I’m not really feeling it.

The tree is up and completely decorated.  My son is having a party here next Sunday.  The house needs a “once over” before then and I will get to it this week.  The presents are under the tree and wrapped.  I have just one more to go pick up and I’m done.  My son’s concert is on Thursday night and the parents will be here for it.

With all this readiness, I’m still just blah.  I made two paintings last night.  Hate’em.   I have no motivation to do a dang thing.  I’m barely making this post.  I just have to get it out, though, so I’m doing it. 😛

I bought Christmas dinner last night so we’re ready for that night.  We’re having a joint service with the church we rent space from on Christmas Eve, which I am looking forward to going.  I spend my 4 mile bike ride praying to God.  I am always talking to Him. 😀

Still working on the book. Wrote two more chapters the other night bringing it up to 13 chapters.  It is coming along nicely.  I’ve been reading a lot.

Sometimes I get so lonely.  I have friends; but I don’t know how to deal with the loneliness. I’ve always been good with my own company.  I’ve never had a problem with being by myself.  I guess it’s just the loss that is starting to hit me hard.

Today was the Hope Hospice Memorial service for all those who passed this past year.  I didn’t go.  I wanted to go; but I just couldn’t.  Maybe I should have; but for some reason, I couldn’t make the call to tell them I’d attend.  I couldn’t make myself go there.

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing…..I’m in so much pain.  TN sucks.  I guess it’s the weather.  I’m not sure why every time it changes, I get struck with this pain.  It brings me down so much.  It’s not like it’s not an everyday thing, it is; but changes make it worse.  Rain is the worse.  Well, except for cold.  Cold cuts me to the bone.

I feel a bit better (emotionally) now that I’ve put it out there.  Journaling has always been a big help in these circumstances.  Just wishing this year to be over so I can move on.  We shall see.

Feeling Sassy

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Feeling a bit sassy today.  Picked up my order for the kid’s presents, wrapped and under the tree.  Have two more to come in.  I’m so done.  I hated having to go to the store to pick them up.  I have one more by mail and one more by store.  I did go to my local pizza place and get an XL box from them to wrap one of the kid’s gifts that didn’t come in a box.  I love this place.  They are the best.  I praise them all the time on my FB page.  They are great people and we eat there at least once a week. LOL!

I normally hate to shop and this season makes it worse for me.  Dropped the last two packages in the mail today for the season.  Just hope they like their gifts.  Ha, ha.  The kid is at a rehearsal for his concert next Thursday evening.  My parents will be here for the show.

I pick up the poinsettia orders today and deliver them on Saturday at church.  He sold 8 total or should I say he sold one and I got the other 7. Hey, it’s 6 over his required, so I’m pleased with that.

This is a photo of my legs.  I’ve always had great legs.  They’re really muscular and this photo came out great of them.

I met a man while out today who was easy to talk to and very kind.  We spoke of both our recent losses and he was promoting his job at a local new Mexican place locally.  He offered to buy me a Margarita.  Ha, ha.  He lost his wife 2 months ago and had positive things to say about Hospice as well.

I was praying with my Bible study group yesterday and she mentioned the fact that we don’t know the true date of Christ’s birth.  I found it funny because I had just prayed two nights previous about that.  I know we don’t know the exact date that Jesus was born; but we do know which day we celebrate it and for me, that is enough.  I’m not going to get all bogged down on when; but in the WHY!

He was born to save us from eternal suffering and to die for our sins.  That is what is important, not the whole b.s. about what date.

 

ENT and Christmas

Went to the ENT yesterday due to voice problems.  Further testing is needed. 😦

Christmas tree is finally up.  Decided that my son’s Christmas party will be on the 18th with his friends.  I’ll be making a bunch of appetizers for the party.  Then, once I’m sure they’re taken care of, I’ll retreat to my room and watch a movie.  😀

Finished the Christmas shopping.  Have to just pick up my order from Guitar Center tomorrow while the boy is at rehearsal and wrap it.  Last two packages ready for mailing out and cards are in the mail.

My son noticed that I have been a bit depressed the last few days or so.  He thought I was mad at him.  I haven’t been.  Just concerned over the loss of my voice and a promise I made to someone that I’m having a hard time not breaking.  Let me tell you, God & I have had several tense talks about it, too.

God keeps showing me signs to stay faithful to what he will be working in my life; but I’m being truly impatient and what if I am wrong about the signs?  <sigh> This is no easy task for me, but I will keep the faith.  I will keep my promise and I will wait patiently on the Lord.  He has always been good to me and I just have to wait.

God told the Hebrews to “remember” what he has done for them countless times in the bible and that is what I am doing now, remembering all the times he has blessed me in the past.  I keep PUSHing forward, though. (Pray Until Something Happens).

On Monday night (or Tuesday morning) at 2 am, I was crying, bitching and moaning to my Lord about the situation only to feel so much better after the talk with Him.  Sometimes, I just have to have it out of my mouth and into His ears, yes, at 2 am, full tantrum style and all. LOL!  Just like a little kid. Not a proud moment; but I felt better about keeping my promise and was able to sleep a bit.

Bible study was good today.  Went to the library and got the book, “Yoga for Warriors” which is recommended for military people who suffer from PTSD and TBI’s.  Perfect.  Already on Chapter 2.

Managed to get a bit of shopping done and purchased a copy of the new Jason Bourne Movie. Can’t wait to watch it.  Speaking of movies, last night my son & I watched “Breakfast Club”.  His first time and he loved it.

Afterward, I painted a new painting.  I feel good about it.

The boy and I discussed Christmas. We talked about dinner, the movies we will watch (Christmas Story, Nightmare Before Christmas, George C Scott’s Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life) by his request.  LOL!  Decided to get a nice roast and have a recipe from Chef Curtis Stone that I can’t wait to try.  It comes with horseradish sauce recipe, too; but I don’t think the boy will like that.  I may just make it for me, though.  I’m thinking baked red potatoes, gravy and broccoli to go with since we both love those.  Nice, small, quiet meal for two.

I’m hoping he likes what I’ve gotten him.  If not, oh well.  He’s a good kid and I love him dearly.  Only 18 more to go…..

 

BW

fankit_39ea07df451410227.jpgI remember my youth and love of comic books.  Batman & Captain American were my favorites.  However, there was one that stood out above the crowd.  She was in some of the comics I read.  Her name was Black Widow.  Oh, how I loved her.  She seemed to be this exotic, elusive, unsung hero.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Wonder Woman and adored the Saturday morning show “Isis” and watched both these powerful women every week on their respective shows; but there was just something about Black Widow that had me.

I loved the song, “Queen Bee” by Barbara Streisand from the movie “A Star is Born”; because it told the story of said spider.  I fell in love with Alice Cooper’s “Black Widow” song and later, Lita Ford made two songs to the pretty spider.  How could a girl like me not fall hard for my favorite heroine.

Imagine my surprise when Marvel came out and launched their movies and included my lovely.  I must say, that was the ultimate reward for a die hard fan.  As for me, I have a confession to make.  I’ve been her, too. 😀

Back in my USMC days, in the earlier than the internet days, computer users used what was called BBS or Bulletin Board Systems and I used the name “Black Widow” as my own.  It was the early 90’s and we all could become who we wanted behind the keyboard.  I loved those simpler days.

Since I developed this persona, I have used her over the years.  She’s my alter ego.  She is who I write as.  She is “the mind of the mad woman” within me.  I love her.  She’s free to write poetry, short stories and even books.  She has ensnared many within her web and she lives deep within my soul.  With her I am free.

I remember when my email address included her.  blackwidow@xxx.ooo This name definitely gave people a lot of assumptions as to who and what I was.    Ha, ha.

Now that she is so widely known, I am a little jealous of those who think they can have her.  She was my secret for so long and now it’s out.  Nothing like being laid bare for all to see. LOL!  Of course, she’ll always be my alter ego.  She’s who has developed so many poems and short stories and she is freeing.  I will always keep her within my soul.

 

 

22 Days

The tree is up.  Purple lights make it look dazzling.  No ornaments, yet.  My son wants a small holiday party with his friends.  I told him sure.  Just have to pick the date.

I’m so ready for this year to end.  2016 has been a rough year.  I am so looking forward to a new year.

Church tonight.  Looking forward to that as well.  After not being able to go to church at all over the last year and a half, it is so good to be back to going each week.  I really hated to miss; but I was needed at home and I am glad I was able to do what I did.

Still plugging along on the book.  It’s coming along nicely.  God is blessing me in this arena as well as with benefits for my boy.

Took another painting class last night.  Turned out pretty good.  I’ve made a few art journaling pages today.  I had a jewelry class Wednesday evening.  From that, I was able to make several pieces while awaiting for my son during his audition for All County.  I made a bracelet in pink for my friend, Michelle’s birthday, which was yesterday.

My sister, Vickie was going to my mother’s for Christmas; but has since changed them, so now my sister, Michelle will be there.  Neither my son, nor I want to go there for the holiday.  We were invited for turkey day; but we didn’t want to be there on that day, either.

My son wants us to go to Russell Stover’s store while he’s on vacation.  We’ll have to see how the money is; but I’m sure we’ll be able to do it.  He likes that place for some strange reason. Ha, ha.

My son got himself two new CD’s yesterday and we listened to them in the car.  Avenged Sevenfold’s new song, “Angel” is really great.  I like it a lot.  My son once dedicated one of their songs to me on FB and I have to tell you, it was beautiful.

I love all types of music.  My tastes run from Classical to Jazz to Heavy Metal, Rock n Roll, Pop, R&B, etc.  I can’t imagine there is music that I haven’t liked.  I got hooked on Country while in the USMC (how could I not with three roommates from the South — 2 Texas & one Louisiana. LOL!).  Music has always been my go to when I’m in need of some soul healing.

My mind is scattered today.  But just a little bit.  I can’t seem to concentrate on one thing or another.  It’s distracting me.  I hope I can stay focused on tonight’s sermon.  I need it.

Well, I’m off to where that may lead.  Hopefully not too wild and crazy.  😀