I was just reading a Fifteen Ungrateful People stories and couldn’t help but think of my middle sister. I’ve always been a sharer. I’ve always been a struggler. I’ve always been the shy, needed to shrink into the corner and be unseen, don’t notice me person. My sister, on the other hand, always needs to be the center of attention.
Each year, growing up, my parents gave us the Sears Wish book and a $100 limit for Christmas. We’d make our lists and my mom would fulfill our dreams per the limit. My middle sister was a sleeper. She loved to sleep, except on Christmas, she would be the first one up, go out and sort our gifts into respective piles per name and then wake us all up. She’d then cry about how so & so got more gifts than she did. She’d turn a beautiful day into hell by being a total greedy bitch. She’s 46 and still this way today. UGH!
This is not just a holiday thing, though. Both of my sisters are born in the summer. My mom always made sure they had great parties for their birthdays. No skin off my nose. I never really had parties for mine; because it is Halloween and I CHOSE to go out to Trick or Treat rather than have a party. My choice. One summer, we were out of town for her birthday on vacation and went to an amusement park instead of having a party for her. She was so ticked off when we got back and the parents told her that she couldn’t have a party; because they had taken us to the park instead. Let’s just say, “Hell hath no fury” like a pissed off brat.
For me, I’ve never even cared. I had to wait to be 8 to get a Barbie doll. My sister got one, too; but it was great for me because I now had someone to play “Barbies” with. I had to be 10 in order to go to town by myself. My sister, who was 8, went with me. My mom walked me to the bus everyday when I started school. My younger sister met me there in the afternoon, without my mom, to walk me home. LOL! My sister was my tormentor for years. She loved to beat me up and because I never fought back, I was an easy target. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I learned to fight back and by then, I knew how to fight, so she laid off for the most part.
Fast forward. My sister is 21 and pregnant. She goes into labor. She has my nephew. My parents spend the two days she’s in the hospital turning the family room into a room for her and the baby. New furniture for both, carpets, painted walls, etc. Her complaint? They never came to the hospital to see her when the baby was born. How dare they? This was especially upsetting to her when my parents spent from 9 am until 7 pm with my Ex & I as I was in labor in the delivery suite with us. Of course, I had everything taken care of and didn’t need them to do anything, but let’s not go there. Plus, I nearly died and was fighting for my life during 8 of those hours. SMH.
My sister was given a brand new car after she had my nephew at 21; because my dad wanted to make sure she and the baby were safe. Never did that for me or the baby sister.
Repeatedly told my mother, while we were growing up, that she was an embarrassment to her. Stayed out from Friday after school until Sunday evening without even calling home. Got drunk on more than one occasion during high school, only to be “punished” with a hang over. Smoked pot on a regular basis as well as cigarettes and didn’t care that my parents knew it.
When my 2nd nephew came along after she was married and in her 30’s, she had her son baptized in March at 4 months old. We spent two weeks up with her and my parents were driving up from Florida for the weekend of and staying a week. Well, a Nor’easter came through and prevented travel up to NY and they couldn’t make it. SHE PITCHED A FIT! She proceeded to tell everyone who would listen that my parents did it on purpose, they never do anything for her and once again she is the victim.
I couldn’t believe it. What’s worse is that she was still complaining to me about it in June. I finally had had enough and told her to stop telling me about it and tell them. She screamed at me and hung up. Well, I get a call from my mom who is really upset and hear all about how they just got a phone call from her and she cursed them out. I explained it all to my mom, who was hurt, and my sister didn’t talk to me for several years.
Two summers ago, my son goes with my parents for two months on vacation. They visit with my sister and her family in Texas before and after going out west. My sister proceeded to tell my son every rotten thing she can imagine about me. She tells lies and half truths to make herself look good and me look bad. My son came home and told me he’d never go out to see her again. She wouldn’t let him babysit her daughter, he wasn’t old enough. He was 15, going on 16 and he’s very responsible. She told my mother he couldn’t stay in the house alone, he was too young. SMH — she’s nuts.
Last year, I get a call from the lunatic because I talked to my brother in law while they were in the midst of getting a divorce. We talked more than my sister and I, so it never occurred to me that it was an act of treason. I had simply told my brother in law to remember the good times and the love. To remember that at one time, she was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. That they have two children together and she is still their mother. To keep it civil for their sakes and to always remember the love they once shared and how my sister did work three jobs to keep them afloat when he got disabled and couldn’t work.
HOLY HELL! You’d think I had committed an act worthy of the death penalty. The blistering phone call I received was harsh. I was told to keep my nose out of her business, never call her again. Butt out of her life and to not take “his side” in this because I didn’t know both sides. WOW! I hadn’t taken sides; but you couldn’t tell her that.
So, I was in exile, once again. Leif goes into Hospice care and she sends me an email that she’s “there for me”. In other words, tell me what’s going on so I have something to gossip about. I ignore her. I don’t need her. Leif dies and two hours later, my phone rings and it is her. I don’t answer. She leaves a message I don’t listen to and I send her a text to “butt out of my life.”
IMO, if she’s too good to have me in her life, then I don’t want her in mine. So, she sends me an email telling me that I am psychotic and in desperate need of mental help. I laughed at that and still haven’t spoken to her. I just had to cut her out of my life like I would cancer. I don’t need that type of negativity in my life.
Granted, I’m no saint. However, I have treated her far better than she’s ever treated me.
Yesterday, I had lunch with my son, mother and baby sister at Cracker Barrel and it was pleasant enough. Hadn’t seen or talked to baby sister since 2010. We have nothing in common and just don’t talk. She lives in upstate NY with her two cats. Never married, no children and a massage therapist.
Here’s the link that sparked this post: