I’m Not Ashamed

This evening, I watched the movie, “I’m Not Ashamed”.  It is the Rachael Scott movie.  Rachel was the first person killed in the attack at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999.  I did not intend to watch this movie.  Nope, nada, no way!  Never wanted to watch it at all.  EVER!

I guess I have to go back to April 20, 1999 to explain my reason.  I was living in Navarre, FL at the time, sitting on my love seat, watching the event unfold on my television, just like a lot of people did that day.  I was also 3 1/2 months pregnant with my son.

I sat and watched what I thought was the most horrific act of humanity I had seen in a very long time unfold before my eyes as the world went insane.  I cried countless tears that day over 13 lost souls and for the two young men who ultimately took their own lives.  I was a mess.  I did not sit and blame anyone for this tragedy.  I hurt for the gunmen as well as their victims.  I was angry.  I was upset; but most of all, I was scared.

I was afraid to have my son.  I was afraid to bring a child into a world so out of control that children were killing children.  Of course, this was not the first time that children had killed children.  As a matter of fact, as a 14 year old girl, I babysat for a family whose first child had been killed, at the age of four, by another child with a gun in the home.  Life is not fair.  Events happen for reasons.  Sometimes those reasons make no sense.  Sometimes they do.  Sometimes we can’t see the reason until it has long passed us by.

Nearly 18 years ago, as I watched this on live T.V. I was extremely distraught.  I could not believe that I was going to bring a child into this craziness.  I didn’t want to do it.  I was terrified.  I worried over my baby.  I became hyper vigilant over his well being.  I really believe at this time in my life, if I had been able, I would have kept him safely inside of myself forever.  Life doesn’t always follow our desires and I’m sure that by now, if he were still inside of me, I’d look pretty weird.  LOL!

I did finally get my anxiety under control and did bring him into the world safely and have been protecting him ever since.  Sometimes that hasn’t always been the right thing and I did have to learn to let go of my iron fisted control.  I have allowed him to become an independent young man (grudgingly) and support him in his dreams.

“I’m Not Ashamed” is a “Pure Flix” movie.  I saw it at Redbox and decided to rent it, not realizing that it was about Rachel Scott.  I just love to watch P.F. movies.  I do not think I would have rented it had I realized it was about Columbine.  I knew I’d cry.  I knew I’d remember that day.  I didn’t want to go back and become paralyzed with fear.

Several minutes into the movie, when I realized what is was about, the tears began to stream down my face.  Miss Honi jumped into my lap and offered me comfort throughout the entire length and I got many kisses and snuggles.  She’s an angel.

I watched a young woman go from faithful to questioning her faith to faithful once again.  I watched her help those in need.  I watched her compassion, heartbreak, struggle and growth.  Excerpts from her journals were read throughout.  We got first hand knowledge of her deepest thoughts and feelings.  I got to know her on a personal level and she is the kind of gal a mom could be so proud to call daughter.

She was her own person and stood by what she believed in.  Rachel touched many lives.  She even told her best friend, Nathan, that she could not see her future, that she couldn’t see past the now, like she had no future.  However, she also stated that she wanted to touch peoples lives, make an impact in Jesus name.

Rachel Scott has reached millions and millions of people.  Her story, her faith and her death have touched the lives of so many, making the impact the young lady wanted in sharing her love for Jesus.  She died, standing by her convictions and love of Jesus.  She would not deny Him.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man would lay down his life for his friends!”  John 15:13

Through great tragedy comes great hope.  Rachel Scott is an inspiration and I am glad I was able to get to know this remarkable young woman through this movie.  God has a plan for all of us.  He can turn a mess into a message.

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Pain

Well, this has been a bad week thus far.  Monday evening the constant pain crept up a notch.  Slowly over night, it became more and more excruciating.  By Tuesday morning, I was praying for death.  I stayed in my blackened room.  (I’ve stapled black trash bags over the windows and have two black sheets for curtains out of necessity for these days) Sound, light, and smell are so heightened on these days that being in a darkened room is for the best.

Trigeminal Neuralgia is so hard.  It is especially hard when you have full facial nerve damage and suffer with it 24/7 – 365 for 24 years.  On a daily basis, I have numbing that crawls across my face to the back of my head like a worm beneath the skin.  Certain facial movements cause lightning strikes to go off.  A kiss can turn into a storm!

However, after all these years, I have learned to deal with the pain.  I push it back by keeping busy and distracting myself from concentrating on the pain.  There are some days  when I can’t handle the pain.  It overwhelms and lays me low, like this week.  It didn’t help that a rainstorm came through yesterday and intensified the pain.  UGH!

I have had this disease for 1/2 of my life now.  I can’t even remember what it is like to not have the pain with me constantly.  Sometimes eating or drinking will cause me such intense pain I want to cry; but I don’t.  I wear the mask.  I keep it to myself.  So much of my illness is personal.  I just don’t share it with the people in my life.  Most people don’t even know I have problems; because I’ve never told them.  I use this blog, though, to get it out of my mind.

Life has not been good to me.  I have made the best of every bad situation.  I’ve looked for the good in it all.  Each lesson is taken to heart and has not stolen true self.  I’m sure I will be used and abused again; but I’m hopeful that I will stand strong after it is all over.

God’s plan for my life is what is getting me through it all.  I look forward to what he has in store for me.  I’m actually a bit impatient for Him to start this new life; but I’m trying so hard.  It is not easy.  I pray A LOT!

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Forgiveness

Last night’s sermon was on Forgiveness.  When someone hurts you, do not repay them in kind.  It’s not God’s way.

Oh is this one hard.  Our first instinct is to get vengeance.  However, it is not easy; but we truly need to “give up the privilege to hurt others in return”.  God does not forgive us if we do not forgive others.  Vengeance belongs to God alone.

Romans 2:4 Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?

The answer is to Pray.  Pray earnestly for your enemies.  If you do, God will work in your life.  He will remove the hurt from your heart and He may even soften the one who is being prayed for.  If you pray for them, you will definitely be a different person because of God.  Pray by name.  Seek reconciliation.

Have you ever known a happy hater?  Hatred, bitterness, anger ~~ it will consume you.  It steals your joy.  Unforgiveness leads to worry, guilt, unhappiness.  As long as God has work for you, on one can touch you.  Do God’s work.   God and only God can bring about that change of heart.

Luke 23:34 (a)  Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”  Even Jesus forgave from the cross.

I have forgiven my sisters and father for what they have said about me and to me, the hurts they have inflicted upon me.  But, as I listened to my Pastor speak on forgiveness, I realized that even though I have forgiven, I do have the choice to not subject myself to their further hurt of me.  I can be at peace with what they have done and not allow them to inflict further damages.

I still struggle sometimes with why they treat me so badly; but if I am to know, God will let me know.  What I do know is that not allowing toxic people in my life, try to control my life or even ruin my life, is a choice I do have control over.  I stand up for me and do not allow them to cause me pain.

I pray for them.  As God has directed me to do so.  My love for these toxic people is without judgment.  It is without pain.  It is whole and truthful.  I do not allow them power over me anymore.  If that is not what they want, they can change themselves with God’s help.  It is not for me to judge, it is between them and God.

On another note, I am still struggling with God’s vision.  <sigh>  It is not easy.  He still keeps telling me to await His perfect timing.  I am not a patient person by nature.  The struggle is real.  I want to tell the promised person that it is God ordained; but it is not for me to do so at this point.  Being obedient to God is not always easy.

I am trusting Him in this endeavor.  I just wish He’d hurry up.  I still am trying to “give up” on him; but he doesn’t make it easy.  I also found out that he stalks my FB page. Ha, ha.

Life is so complicated.  <sigh>

Random Acts of Kindness

I truly believe that when you do random acts of kindness you make this world a better place.

I just read and watched a video about a coffee hut out in Oregon whose employees saw a woman crying in her car at the drive thru and found out her husband had just passed away.  The employees offered her a free coffee and something more.  The three young men grasped her hand and prayed with her for peace in the situation and that she and her family make it through this trying time.

A woman behind this car snapped a photo and learned the story when she got to the window, then shared the moment on FB.  The story went viral.  It brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face.

I gave the kids (3 that I drive home) Valentine’s candies.  I wanted them to know that I love them and they’re teens, so candy was a good choice.  They were thrilled.  Yesterday, the one gal confessed that she was sad she hadn’t gotten me anything.  I immediately told her that I expect nothing from what I do; because I do it from my heart.

I have always done random acts of kindness in this life.  I just love to make others happy.  I love to see the smile in their eyes.  I love to touch peoples hearts.

This month, I’ve sent a painting to my friend in NYC.  She loved it.  I’m sending another to a friend in TN this week, along with a few bracelets for her and her two best friends and her mom.  Why?  Because that’s what I do.

I have helped strangers.  I have prayed in the supermarket for the cashier’s sister, who was in the hospital.  I’ve given my last dollar to a stranger in need.  I’ve hugged people who were crying, just to show them that someone in this world cared enough to just be there.  I have listened to people with my heart and not just waited for them to stop talking so I could say something.

This world needs more of these types of things.  I know I can’t save the world; but I can touch the people that I meet in my world.  We all  need to take a step back, stop watching our phones and reconnect with people on a personal level.  Open our eyes to what is going on and not just let life pass us by.

I hope I am raising my son to be the kind of person I want to see in this world.  Of all the songs that Michael Jackson has made, I do believe that “Man in the Mirror” is what we all need to make the change, to be the good in the world.

Plus this is what God is talking about!!!  Jesus said there are only two commandments:  1. Love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength.  2.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  That’s it!  So, why are we being such bad neighbors?

Yes, we have bad neighbors.  People who are hurting others in horrible ways; but we are also to hate the sin, not the person.  We need to lift these people up to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help that person.  I don’t know what broke them; but God does and He is in control.  He can help.  I know it in my heart.

I pray for this world.  I pray for my country.  I pray for those who are in harms way.  I pray for those who need food, shelter, love, better lives, etc.  I sometimes pray for so long that I finish, look at the clock and can’t believe all the time that has gone by. LOL!

I want the world to be like it was when I grew up.  I want home town friends.  I want kindness to be something we do, not something I have to be reminded to do on FB.  Kindness should be a given from the heart, not something we tell others they need to do, share, practice.

I’m looking in the mirror.  I’m doing what I’ve always done, sharing my kindness.  What about you?

 

SVU

SPOILER ALERT if you watch SVU and haven’t seen it this week yet!

So, I just watched this week’s Law & Order SVU and it dealt with Domestic Violence.  A subject near & dear to my heart.  A young boy is playing on a youth hockey team sexually assaults another player for losing the game because his father tells him to do so.

The boy who is assaulted winds up dying due to complications with the injury.  The young boy leaves the locker room and then goes back into said locker room and assaults the other player with a hockey stick to the rectum, as per daddy’s orders.  As the case goes on, they discover that the father is abusing the entire family and they see that he’s got them under his thumb.  The older teen brother finally provokes the father and is assaulted and records the incident to try and assist his younger brother.  There is also an elementary school son that will eventually receive the same legacy if dad isn’t stopped.

Okay, why am I writing about this you ask?  It brought back the memories of what happened after my ex tried to kill me in 2009.  I was assaulted and nearly killed by him and afterwards, we relocated south and in October, 4 months after said incident, my son was showing signs of acting out and misbehavior.  I took him into the Children’s Advocacy Center here and got him enrolled into counseling.  Immediately, it came to light that his father was knocking him around, giving him beer and showing him pornography on the internet at the age of 8.  I was devastated.    He was told not to tell me.  His father was doing all of this behind my back.  I blame myself.  At that time in my life, my stress levels were out of control due to the ex and I was constantly down due to my Lupus.  Taking Prednisone, going in and out of the hospital, sick all the time, etc.

I hated myself when I found out.  I cried so many tears for my baby boy.  I wanted to kill the SOB.  My son & I worked hard to recover from this terror.  After the June assault, we had a permanent restraining order issued and the ex was not allowed to come near us at all.  I am grateful for that.  I also am grateful that the man has since passed away and can no longer hurt my boy.

At any rate, the show triggered this angry response from me about the whole Domestic Violence issue.  I stood my ground, went to court, wanted him to pay.  I’m not like other women who allow their spouses to have that control.  He hit me.  He hit my son.  He tried to kill us; because I know if he had killed me, he would have killed the boy, too.

My Lupus has been under control for the last two years.  My stress level is greatly reduced.  I am a much better person these days and my mental state is much improved.  I still have nightmares from my PTSD; but I am in control for the most part.  I am not a mess and we are living a great life.

I wish more women and  men who are abused by their significant others would stand up.  We need to eradicate this type of behavior.  No one should be allowed to hit, emotionally abuse, sexually abuse, cheat, etc. anyone.  It is horrible and needs to stop.

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I’m giving up.

Yup.  I have decided that even though I have full faith in God and what He can do for me and that He does have a plan for my life, I have no faith in the man in my destiny.  I’m always the one to make contact.  Sometimes he ignores me.  He does not believe that we are meant to be.

So, recap:  God gave me a vision, during prayer at church that this man was the “One”.  I went a few weeks in awe.  Then, I lost faith in the vision.  The enemy was hard at work filling my head with doubt.  I prayed about it and over the next week, God gave me signs.

He has a full first name, a shortened version of his name and a name that was from long ago that matches a “cartoon” character were my signs.  As the days went by, I was shown his name in all three versions in different places.  Song on the radio, seen the character while surfing the net and popped up while I was searching for something entirely different.  I even was sent a Meme with the character and my name on it.  Totally weird. This went on for a week with at least a dozen signs.  LOL!  So, I regained my faith in the vision.

Another month went by and the enemy once again slipped into my mind.  He tried to bring me doubts.  I prayed.  God sent me at least 10 notifications about His perfect timing to include my morning bible study with GiG.  I was floored.  He is in control.  I have no doubts at all.

I love the Lord with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength.  He is my everything.

Two days ago, Valentine’s day, I was at an all time low for the day.  One, it would have been my grandmother’s 98th birthday and I loved this woman more than any other person when she was alive (she died while I was pregnant with my son) and was the most important person in my life.  It was the first time I’d ever really cared that I was single on the day and I was just feeling shitty.  The day got better and I’ll post that below.

I spoke to God in the early morning hours of the day, before I even had to wake my son for school the next day (15th).  I’d had no  contact with said “man” since the week before and I was determined to not be the one to do the contacting.  I am so hurt and discouraged at this point.

Anyway, I told the Lord that I give up.  I  have no faith in the man that he will ever love me for who I am.  I have told God that I have complete faith in Him; but absolutely NO faith in the man at all.  He is determined to not be in my life, so I am giving up.  I would rather be alone for the rest of my life.  I turn on the television after I get my son up and low and behold, there is an accident on the road that has his first name.  Not funny, God.  I am at peace though and I am glad I have renounced my faith in the man.  If God can change him, that’s their thing, not mine.  He will always be my hero.  I will always love him for the man he is.  (Notice not IN LOVE — big difference).  All I wanted was the chance to get to know him and he has refused even that. <shrug>  I think I have leprosy or something.

While speaking a few weeks ago, I jokingly told him that I’d meet him at his Dad’s house and wait for him.  He told me “good luck” and I countered with You told the family I am crazy and he’ll be embarrassed when he falls in love with me and marries me. He said, “Or myself”, meaning he’d have to convince himself that he’d fallen in love with my crazy ass.  <shrug> Okay.  To be honest, I don’t even think he likes me at all.

Let me say plainly that he is working on his own issues and is not ready for anyone to be in his life and I totally respect this in everyway.  I know that the Lord is teaching me patience; but I am easily manipulated by the enemy, so I pray numerous times a day to keep myself in check with the Lord.

So, Valentine’s day was great.  I picked up my son and his friend at school and his friend took us out to dinner as a thank you for all I do for him.  He is such a sweet young man.  We then rented a few Redbox movies and watched them at the house.  Great evening with two great young men.

I am at peace, I am not going to “wait” for something I do not believe I will ever have.  I am over feeling sorry for myself.  I hate pity parties.  I will forever be grateful for this man in my life as a friend; but I will not hope for anything more than that.  He has made it abundantly clear to me that I am pushed way into the friend zone.  You don’t need to slap me upside the head with a two by four.  I got it.

I did do a compatibility of our birthdays.  I don’t do horoscopes at all.  That is against what God teaches; but I do believe in birthday compatibility, so I did one and OMG if we were to get together it would be hotter than the desert at high noon.  We are both strong signs, hot sex, passionate in and out of the bedroom and both fight for what we believe in.  Stubborn as well. LOL!  We’d be a power couple that would be able to take on the world and nothing could stop us.  WOW!  <shrug> Whatever.  His loss.  I am a little hurt that he doesn’t even want to get to know the real me or open up to me about himself; but like I said:  His loss.  I will ever go onward and upward.  I am a strong woman who will always land on my feet and be successful.  I am UNSTOPPABLE!

I love me.

Bad Day

So, today is the eve of Valentine’s Day.  A day where all those who are in love celebrate.  As I think about this day, I know that I will be spending it alone.  The person I love, my gift from above, is not with me.  He’s not there yet.  God has not deemed this time to be His perfect timing.  So, I continue to wait.

This day never bothered me as a single person in the past.  For some reason, because I have a promise from God, it is devastating.  <sigh>   I even went so far as to do a compatibility of our signs.  Not that I do horoscopes, I don’t at all; but I did an analysis of our birthdays and sex and the relationship would be combustible and crazy and the best one in the universe.  Two alpha signs, one water, one fire, with a passion that can’t be matched and a romance that will rock the ages.  The report alone had me waving a fan on myself it was so hot.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.  It’s all I can do.  Numerous times I have asked God if the promise He made was true.  If the promise would come to fruition, if I wasn’t NUTS for believing the vision and promise He made me and all of it is backed up by Him.  EVERY. SINGLE. THING!  I don’t believe in coincidence.  Things happen for a reason.  I have asked God to slam the door, nail it shut and don’t let me in if it is not to be.  God sends me the perfect scripture for an answer.  I ask if I was correct in who it is I’m to be with and He answers me with a song, photo, etc.  that reconnects my belief.

GOD IS GOOD!  ALL THE TIME!

It’s so hard, sometimes, for me to be patient.  I want it now.  Not because I am an instant gratification gal; but because I just want the man to spend time with me, make memories with me, etc.  I already love this person; because God told me he’d be mine.  No other reason.  God gave me this man and I will treasure the man as the greatest gift.

We, of course, need to get to know each other better.  I tried.  He doesn’t believe that God gave me him.  He’s trying to heal himself.  That is fine.  I understand completely.  I will wait.  I pray for him daily.  I pray for God to fix him: mind, body, spirit, soul.  I pray that he is safe in his travels for work.  I pray for his family to be there for him as he continues his healing journey.  I pray that God looks after him, fills his heart with love and joy and that when the time is right, he will come to me.

I also pray that if I am not to be his forever love, that he find her and is happy for the rest of his life.  I am so full of love that if I am not the one, I still want that person to be happy.  Yes, I’ll be sad; but I will accept the things I cannot change.

So, as for tomorrow, UGH!  I expect nothing and I will be sad for the loss; but I will get through this, too.

Expectations

I was just on FB and saw one of my friends received both flowers and chocolate covered strawberries from her husband.  I smiled and liked her post; but it has gotten me thinking.  We women seem to have all the advantage.

For me, I’ve never been with a man who went out of his way to do things like that for me no matter the holiday.  My ex used to tell me I wasn’t his mother, so I didn’t need to get anything from him, even when my child was not old enough to get me a thing, on Mother’s Day.  He stopped getting me Christmas gifts after the kid was born, too.  Birthday gifts?   Are you kidding me?  Of course, his idea of great gifts were appliances or things he could use.  I always got him things for Father’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, Anniversary and Valentine’s day.

I’m different.  I spoil those I love.  For me, I love to show my affection by spoiling with things I know they would love.  I make special meals, I like to keep favorite snacks on hand and I listen when they say they like this or that.  For me, it is an expression of love.

I just sent my dear friend a painting I made just for her and a handmade scarf.  She received it yesterday and absolutely loves them.  I was so happy that she did.  She is a terrific person and had a bit of a rough time last year and I have been thinking of her.  She’s also an inventor and her new line “Baby Tripster” is in the manufacturing stage and about to launch.  So happy for her.

I am someone who does that sort of thing and not for any other reason than because I love to treat my friends to a touch of kindness.  I have several other gifts going out to friends in the next week as well.  I make these things from the heart.  It is just who I am.

Anyway, it seems we women have the advantage and I just don’t think I like that.  Yes, I like it when a man opens a door for me, treats me like a lady and does nice things for me.  However, I am very much a person who likes to do the same for those in my life that mean the most.  I don’t expect it to be one-sided.  We woman need to do our part, too.  Men like to be spoiled as well.

Some of the things I have done for the “man” in my life (when there was one) are:

Take their vehicle in for an oil change.  (Gift certificate if they just had it done)

Wash their car.  Either myself or to a pro who will detail it and make it sparkle!

Make a favorite meal or take them out for that favorite meal.

Round of golf, tickets to sporting event or other favorite activity they enjoy.

I have incredibly strong hands and have been known to give full body massage as well as done pedicures on my man.  Nothing better than making sure they are relaxed and refreshed.

Hobbies?  Always a great idea to get something that correlates to a favorite pastime.

Music lover?   Get him an mp3 player with some of his favorite music on it or make him a CD to remind him of you.

There are so many things that will tell him that he’s special to you.  So, this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget about that man in your life.  Spoil him with something that will knock his socks off.  Let him know he means as much to you as you do to him. ❤

ENT

So, went to the ENT yesterday and received the news that I have a 1/2 dollar sized cyst on my vocal cords.  Gave me an IV bag of antibiotics, a prescription and a return appointment.  Hopefully, this will get rid of it otherwise it will be surgery to remove it.  Not wanting that at all.

On a happy note, I found this great comic/cartoon that I have fallen in love with.  It’s Panda & Polar Bear.  Now, for those who do not know me all that well, I just love bears.  I especially love Polar Bears, so this was a great find.

http://www.pandaandpolarbear.com  is the website.  I’m in love.  I spent over an hour reading all of them.  Laughed my ass off.  So cute and funny.  Even saved a few and sent them to a friend.

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Just an example of one above.  LOL!

I can’t sleep.  My head is splitting apart right now.  My mind won’t shut off and I just thought I’d make a quick post. 😀

Painting & Craft Show

I’ve made two and a half paintings this week.  I have been feeling rather sick for the last week and a half.  Last Sunday, I couldn’t even get out of bed.  My vertigo has been acting up and when it does, I feel so out of control.

Anyway, I made a painting for my dear friend, Francine.  It’s a beautiful woman, reaching for the light with red hair.  Yes, Francine is a red head.  She’s a beautiful person and I just saw a picture on the internet and I just had to paint it for her.  Francine is alone in NYC.  Her parents are both gone and we’ve just made such a strong connection with each other.  She also has a Pomeranian, so, she’s a great person. LOL!  Even though the distance is far, we connect on a deep level and I can’t imagine a better friend than her.  She’s also an inventor and is now marketing her baby travel containers.  I just adore her.

My second painting this week was of the Pittsburgh skyline.  It needs one more thing added to it; but I am pretty satisfied with it.  I’ve started a third by painting the entire canvas black and it now awaits it’s subject matter.  Yesterday I was going to start on it; but my dizziness is making it hard to hold my head up, so it will have to wait.

Next Saturday is the craft show I signed up for to sell my jewelry creations.  I’d asked a friend to look them over; but so far, hasn’t done so.  <sigh> I don’t want to be a pest, so I’ll just go forth without knowing.

I have necklaces and bracelets and I just need to get some hooks for my display boards and I will be set.  It is at one of the local high schools and is just 1/2 a day, so I should be okay.  I’ve already gotten a table cloth and have added many tags and such to them at this point.  I really hope all goes well.  I also hope that I am feeling a bit better before this day comes.  UGH!  Sometimes I so hate my body and it’s betrayal.

Tomorrow, I go back to the ENT doctor.  I am not looking forward to this at all.  I know that I am still suffering from voice problems and I have no idea where this will lead me.  The right side of my throat is throbbing today.  I couldn’t even speak last night by the time I went to bed.  I am really afraid that I have a serious problem with my voice box and I don’t want to lose it forever.  Of course, I have a big voice, so it would be missed. LOL!  I had a friend once who called me “Ethel Merman” all the time and when he did, I’d belt out a song in imitation of her.  He’d always laugh.

Have I mentioned that patience isn’t one of my strong suites?  LOL!  Still “patiently” waiting on the Lord.  Having to be patient with these test results.  Got blood work done on the 31st and was able to look them up on Friday and was pleased that they reflected much better than 6 months ago.  It was really hard to wait for the few days to see them; but I am extremely please with the results all the same.

Rooting for the Falcons today in the Super Bowl.  I just can’t root for the Patriots, not since “Deflate Gate”.  It was such a betrayal and I just can’t do it.  So, the Falcons it is.

I remember when I was married and we used to have such great Super Bowl parties.  I’d spend two days preparing food and getting the house ready for the game and we’d have such fun.  Or I’d prepare food and we would go to the American Legion and party there all night.  Such great fun.  I even found my son’s Steeler’s jersey from way back when.  It’s so tiny.  Made me miss him being that small.  Hard to believe he’s already 17.  Time sure does fly.

You can never go back.  So, onward and upward.