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Bad Day

So, today is the eve of Valentine’s Day.  A day where all those who are in love celebrate.  As I think about this day, I know that I will be spending it alone.  The person I love, my gift from above, is not with me.  He’s not there yet.  God has not deemed this time to be His perfect timing.  So, I continue to wait.

This day never bothered me as a single person in the past.  For some reason, because I have a promise from God, it is devastating.  <sigh>   I even went so far as to do a compatibility of our signs.  Not that I do horoscopes, I don’t at all; but I did an analysis of our birthdays and sex and the relationship would be combustible and crazy and the best one in the universe.  Two alpha signs, one water, one fire, with a passion that can’t be matched and a romance that will rock the ages.  The report alone had me waving a fan on myself it was so hot.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.  It’s all I can do.  Numerous times I have asked God if the promise He made was true.  If the promise would come to fruition, if I wasn’t NUTS for believing the vision and promise He made me and all of it is backed up by Him.  EVERY. SINGLE. THING!  I don’t believe in coincidence.  Things happen for a reason.  I have asked God to slam the door, nail it shut and don’t let me in if it is not to be.  God sends me the perfect scripture for an answer.  I ask if I was correct in who it is I’m to be with and He answers me with a song, photo, etc.  that reconnects my belief.


It’s so hard, sometimes, for me to be patient.  I want it now.  Not because I am an instant gratification gal; but because I just want the man to spend time with me, make memories with me, etc.  I already love this person; because God told me he’d be mine.  No other reason.  God gave me this man and I will treasure the man as the greatest gift.

We, of course, need to get to know each other better.  I tried.  He doesn’t believe that God gave me him.  He’s trying to heal himself.  That is fine.  I understand completely.  I will wait.  I pray for him daily.  I pray for God to fix him: mind, body, spirit, soul.  I pray that he is safe in his travels for work.  I pray for his family to be there for him as he continues his healing journey.  I pray that God looks after him, fills his heart with love and joy and that when the time is right, he will come to me.

I also pray that if I am not to be his forever love, that he find her and is happy for the rest of his life.  I am so full of love that if I am not the one, I still want that person to be happy.  Yes, I’ll be sad; but I will accept the things I cannot change.

So, as for tomorrow, UGH!  I expect nothing and I will be sad for the loss; but I will get through this, too.


About irishgoddess1337

Retired Marine, Christian who survived Domestic Violence, living with Lupus, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, Migraine, TMJ, Trigeminal Neuralgia, Sleep Apnea and living my life for Jesus! My son is a Senior this year!! YIKES! I love music! My son plays drums in his High School Marching Band & Percussion group. We live with three fur babies -- Tippy the Corgi and Honi & Teddy the Poms. I scrapbook, stamp and make rag dolls for fun! I've recently started acrylic painting and making jewelry. Life is good!

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