Once again, I’m suffering from double ear infections. UGH! Every time I get one, I think back to the pediatrician who told my mother that my ear pain was psychosomatic and all I wanted was attention at the age of 13 and how she took it as gospel. This is the same doctor who told my mother that my sister, at the age of 8, was insecure because she still slept with a teddy bear and that her stomach pains (which was a blocked intestine) was all in her head. After hearing this, my mother took her x-rays and medical records to the ER in another county and was diagnosed immediately with the blockage and was told they caught it in time before it killed her. So, her believing this quack was an insult. Because of it, I never complained again and kept my pain to myself. It wasn’t worth the fight.
Anyway, I’m forever suffering from them. When my son was a baby, I discussed it with his pediatrician, who told me that I shouldn’t have them either. UGH! Not everyone is the same. It’s why I think I’ve had Lupus a lot longer than when my diagnosis came in 2007. It would explain a lot of other ailments over the years.
I’ve binge watched several shows on Netflix. Just watched “6 Souls”, “The Five” and “The Fall” over the four days. They were a little intense. I’m a police show junky.
I’m worried about my son. College, leaving home, etc. He’s 18; but very naïve. I’ve been letting him drive home from school daily. I wanted to get him lessons; but at $70 an hour, I just can’t afford it. So, we’re on our way to doing it slowly. I just hope his confidence grows; because at present, he’s still very nervous.
I’m needing a new place to live. I know that when the child support runs out, I’ll not be able to afford this place anymore. A friend shared a link to some cute cottages; but at present, they’re not even built. They are going to be built in an area that I would not move to due to the high crime rate also, so Nope! Since it’s “Snow Bird” season, rentals are not easy to find, so I’ll have to start looking during the March/April time period.
I’ve begun working the AV at church and still have my nose in the bible by doing a bible study of Philippians and reading the book, “Girls With Swords” by Lisa Bevere. I’m hoping that God will reveal where He wants me to go and how He is going to get me there. I’m feeling a bit lost right now and I just have to keep taking baby steps in hopes that it is the right direction.
I am so broken these days. I can only hope to recover. Hurt and heartache are no stranger to me. I just feel like I’m drowning in it all the time.
Between heartache and illness, I’m just so tired of being sick and tired.