Blessings and such

Last week, after dropping my son off at school, I turned onto my street and came to a stop.  Why?  Bunnies.  There were 3 of them blocking the road.  Wouldn’t move, so I had to get out of the car and shoo them out of harms way.  Yesterday, it was ducks!  Couple of weeks ago, it was ibis.  I am blessed to live in an area where I can see so many animals living free.

Yesterday, I was doubly blessed.  I’d gone to the VA for a dental appointment and as usual, afterwards I was in misery due to my TMJ and Trigeminal Neuralgia.  I was paying more attention to my pain and getting home to take more Tylenol than I was anything else when I spotted a police car and instantly knew I was in trouble.  Yup, that’s right, I was speeding.  UGH!!!  I pulled over and the officer asked if I knew why he pulled me over and of course, I admitted my sin.  No sense playing the innocence game, we both knew what I’d done.

Barely holding myself together, I handed him all my paperwork and waited for the ticket we both knew I deserved.  He walked away and I bowed my head.  “Dear Lord, help me.  I know I am in the wrong; but please have mercy on me.  Amen.”  Moments after I raised my head, I saw the officer was returning to me.  “This is your lucky day.  The printer just broke in my car and I can’t give you a ticket.  Slow down and have a nice day.”

I thanked him.  Tears sprang into my eyes.  I looked up and praised God for His mercies.  Prayer is not always instant gratification.  Sometimes it’s a hard lesson, won over time.  Sometimes they’re not answered in the way we think they should be.

Isaiah 55:8-9 New King James Version “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Scripture tells us that we don’t know how or why God does what He does, just that He knows better than we do.  Sometimes that “no” is for our own good.  Though I regret nothing in my life, I sometimes wish I’d heeded His warning by listening to my “gut feeling” instead of ignoring that voice.

Over the last year, I’ve grown in ways I never imagined and it is all because I’ve tuned into the voice of my Lord.  He speaks to me in so many ways as to open up my heart, my mind, and my dependence on Him for all things.  Because I have done this, I see the blessings He bestows on me in the smallest and largest of ways.  I see God in the details.  I see His hands all over my life.

He has firmly closed doors I was still willing to walk through.  He has opened doors and gently push me through them in order to give me more.  He has spoken volumes to me when I’ve asked Him to lead me and show me.

Last night, my son and I attended the Memorial Service of a dear friend.  She passed after 73 years of love and kindness in service to the Lord.  When we first met her, she and her husband were the greeters at our church.  Each Sunday, they would open the doors, welcome us in and hand us a bulletin.

I shared a wonderful story about her with those in attendance about our 1st Cub Scout Sunday with our new church.  I had called up our Pastor and spoke with him about Cub Scout Sunday and asked him what my son could do for our church on that day.  He assigned my son to Judy and an instant bond grew between the two.  In the last few years, she’s been absent from our service; but not from our hearts.  An injury, followed by several mini strokes, kept her from rejoicing in the Lord with us; but she was never far from our hearts.  We celebrated her life last night and shared our stories about her and wished her Godspeed.  This lovely lady is home with our Lord, greeting everyone  welcome at the Pearly gates.

I can only hope that I will be as fondly remembered as she is by us all.  I want to be a blessing to those I know and meet, just like Judy.  ❤

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Freedom

Tonight I went downtown to “Bike Night” and saw Lita Ford in concert.  Had a fabulous time and as I was driving home, it occurred to me that in the last year, I have truly enjoyed the freedom of not having to ask someone’s permission to do things and have them say no or to say yes and then upon the day’s arrival, force me to cancel my plans, leaving me disappointed.

I can hardly believe it took me a year to realize I am finally free!  I’m free of controlling men.  I can come and go as I please.  After spending the last 22 years with 2 different men who controlled my every move, I am free to do as I please, when I please, with whomever I please.

WOW!  I am amazed.  After all this time, I’ve finally realized that I owe nothing to anyone.

I always believed that a couple should share everything and respect each other and love each other and treasure each other.  In relationships where one partner is completely controlling of the other, you don’t get these same freedoms, love or respect.  You become a virtual slave to the other person and their needs are all that is important.  Even though I’ve completed some intense therapy, I have only just now realized the extent to which I was controlled.  I am so grateful that I am no longer in such situations.  YEAH!!

Knowing that God is bringing me my next relationship and it will be blessed by Him, I have no fear that I will have to worry about that again.  God is directing me toward His plan for my life and I have to say that it is greatly anticipated and looked forward to.

I’m keeping busy while I wait for this plan.  I’ve been crocheting blankets for Boggy Creek Summer Camp, which children with brain tumors and cancer attend yearly.  This camp gives each camper a blanket and teddy bear to keep.  So far, I’ve made two and am working on the 3rd.  I also am working on two other blankets for friends having babies in December & January.

I’m busy with my son’s Senior year of HS as well.  He got his Sr. portraits taken and the cost about floored me!!!  YIKES!!!  I didn’t really like them, either.  He has about 3 weeks left of Marching Band and the time seems to be just sailing by.  He’s working on his college audition videos with several boys from band and is making progress.  So proud of him.

I’ve lost 19 lbs in the last month and am happy with my progress.  I’m steadily getting my life in order.  I’ve got to downsize more and I am waiting until it is a bit cooler to start again.  UGH!  It’s still so incredibly hot.

I miss living up north sometimes.  I miss the leaves changing, the crisp smell of autumn air and the crunch of leaves under foot.   I miss hiking in the woods or up the mountains.  <sigh>

My grandfather passed away this week.  It’s been 18 years since my grandmothers passed, within one week of each other, while I was pregnant with my son.  My grandfather suffered with dementia for the last few years and it is truly a blessing that he has gone home to our Lord.  I know my NC family is grieving his loss.  It hurts that I will no longer get to see him; but I will one day, when I leave this world.  He will be greatly missed. ❤

Most of the missed hurricane days from school are going to be made up before the new year, with only a few days after the new year comes to finish it up.  My son will be graduating on May 19th at 10 am and my parents told me that they’re planning a cruise right after with my cousin, who’s twins will be graduating on the 17th of May, so we may tag along if the price is right.

My world is finally settling into a new normal.  I’m learning to be me again.  I’m who I am again.  Living my life, raising my son, taking care of my pups and loving the new freedom I’ve regained.

Life is good. ❤

 

Not My America

It’s a sad day here in the USA.  It seems that the whole country has gone mad.  It is no longer “My America” any longer.

My America is beautiful.  We’re diverse, we’re proud, we’re free and we’re grateful to those who paved the way.  My America is color blind, kind and gives a helping hand.  My America salutes the flag, kneels before God and stands proud to claim to be American.

Growing up in America, I was raised in a small town in New York with only one traffic light, best friends who were black, Puerto Rican and Jewish, went to church on Sunday at our local Catholic church and even attended more than one Saturday evening in the Synagogue, worshiping with my best friend, Heather.

In the summer, we all swam in the lake and winters skating on that same lake.  We had numerous sleep overs, hikes up the mountain and overnight camping trips to various locations with the folks.  I’ve marched in many a Veteran’s and Memorial Day parades as a girl scout and attended more than one function at the local American Legion Post and our Elks Lodge.

I respected my elders and God forbid I gave them sass, because my Mom and Dad would find out and I’d be in deep waters.    I volunteered to help others.  I made regular visits to my grandparents and celebrated holidays like Christmas and Easter in school!  It did not matter that my best friends were white, black and of Indian descent, all that mattered to us was that we liked each other and had the same interests.

We were poor and I never even knew it.  We were on the Government Cheese program where the government brought the dairy surplus from farmers and gave it to those in need.  We got it monthly and even cut the mold off it to eat it when we had it for so long that it began to go bad.  I wore hand-me-downs from my cousins and most of them were male.  LOL!

I was bullied.  I was beaten up by both girls and boys.  I worked it out.  I liked everyone; but not everyone liked me.  My parents didn’t fight my battles, they made me do it myself.  They didn’t involve themselves in kid fight; because kids make up and parents are still angry and it’s over kid stuff.

We celebrated our differences; but we also joined together in our solidarity as Americans.  It is the old school, hometown values that made this country great.

Big Jim and Tiny were the local gay couple we all knew were gay and that you could call on them for help if you needed it.  They also had a cool steam engine in their front yard, which was so cool.  A good friend of the family, a man named Niles, was Jamaican and the darkest skinned man I ever knew and we called him “Uncle” because he was like an uncle to us kids.  We knew to be home by the time the street lights came on and we were hardly ever at home; but out playing and enjoying the fresh air.

If a person wore a uniform, they were an authority figure and we had better behave or we’d be in trouble.  We knew most of the town police and firemen.  They knew who we were, too.  We could walk or ride our bikes anywhere.  We were safe.  We were home.

It’s why I, myself, put on the uniform and served this great nation.  To protect and serve.  To honor what those who came before me had already established so that my children could enjoy the same rights as I did.  And yet, here I am, raising my son in a country I don’t even recognize.  I also have to state that in Sept & Oct 2016, I received a flag for two fallen Marines, both of which served Honorably and passed.

People are killing people for being different.  People are disrespectful to each other.  People are rude and self – centered, self – obsessed, and selfish.  People move to this country and think we need to change to fit into a mold of the country they left.  If it is so important to you to have your customs, why did you leave?  Why should I have to adopt your customs and values?

When I was stationed overseas, I had to adapt to their local customs and ways.  I didn’t go their expecting them to change their laws and customs to accommodate me.  I was expected to follow their ways.  As a matter of fact, everyone who does go to a foreign country in the military, has to go through a weeks worth of orientation before going to their commands so that no one can say they were unaware of local laws, customs and traditions.  Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

With all that has changed in the last 15 years or so, I’m not sure that we’re going to be able to bring this country back to it’s former glory.  It’s a shame.  Yes,  there are problems; but violence doesn’t help.  Protesting doesn’t help.  Treating people with disrespect doesn’t help.  We have to work together in order to work it out.

What I do know is all of this discord is tearing our nation apart.  I’m saddened and wanted so much more for my son.  I’m hurting for our children.  I’m hurting for the country I so love.  I’m hurting for those who are hurting.  I just want my country back.

I’m a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.  Today, not so much.  I was disappointed in the fact that they refrained from even entering the field for the National Anthem.  These men are paid to perform.  They are not a political organization.  They are overpriced showman.  It’s the same with actors/actresses.  They’re paid performers.  They make more than the average American does to entertain us.  Why are we giving them the power to do this?  We need to cut them off.

 

 

 

Irma & Faith

My son and I came through the storm wonderfully.  Minimal damages to the property.  My two plumeria trees have been bent, one so that the tree is lying down.  I can’t lift it up; but I do believe it can be salvaged and sent a pic to my lawn care guy.  Hopefully, he can get her upright again.  I also lost the mail box and the screens on the lanai.  No storm surges at my place and blessed beyond measure!!!!

We were without power for 28 hours.  Not bad.  We had no power for 15 days during Ivan in 2004, so this was a vast improvement. 😀   God bless the linemen for all they have done to get us back up and running again.  Grateful to God for all He did to save us.

As the storm approached us, the wind was wicked and wild.  On Saturday, I had friends tell me that I was committing suicide by staying.  No matter how many times I told them that the Lord was with me and that the Lord gave me a sense of peace and calm that I would be okay, they all thought me a fool.  I was so upset by what was said to me and not the storm.  I was hurt by those who couldn’t believe that I was in God’s hands and He was protecting me from harm.  I never doubted my Lord or His protection.

My son and I were not worried.  I’d never put my child or my animals in harms way.  I prayed continuously; but not in fear.  I prayed His word back to Him.  I prayed that He is my protector, my shelter from the storm, my rock, my strong fortress, my hope, my strength, the Creator whom I place my complete hope and faith in.  He hears and He provides.  He is an awesome God, who loves His people and when we put our trust in Him, His love is greater!

After the storm and I reported my safety to friends, I received a message that stated, “Your faith in the Lord is great.”  So, this friend drove with her family all the way up to PA.  Here I am in SWFL, the day after, lying on my bed and I send her a text.  “Can you bring me back a couple of cases of Birch Beer?”  “Sure!!!!”  I’m in HEAVEN!!!  So, it makes up for the whole, you’re gonna die by killing yourself thing. LOL!  Nothing like post storm, bed laying, birch beer dreaming, grateful to God for being safe, giggling to myself time!!!

A beautiful day outside today, as was yesterday.  Grateful to be safe and secure.  God is so wonderful.  I trust fully in Him.  He is my everything.  I couldn’t wait to share this testimony; because I have been walking with God since last November when he gave me a vision for my future and I have remained steadfast in my faith in Him.  I renewed my faith in Him in 2009 and have been faithful ever since.  I’ve prayed regularly since that time.  However, I have spent nearly the last year getting even closer to the Lord.   I have been growing my relationship with Him for a long time; but not as intensely as I have since November 2016.  My faith and trust and hope, in the Lord, are unshakable today!

So, I renew my faith in Him today, in gratitude and love.  I stand strong in the Lord.  I am the daughter of the one true King!  God is good, all the time!

I pray for quick recovery efforts by the state of Florida, as well as the state of Texas, after these 2 devastating storms.

Irma

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After living through a Cat 4 Typhon in Japan in 1992, Hurricane Ivan (Cat 5) in Pensacola in 2004 and Dennis (Cat 3) in 2005, I think I’m ready for Irma.  My son & I cleared the lanai, froze water in the freezer and have food, so we’re as ready as can be.  My landlord is coming to put up the shutters and we’ll be ready.  We live in a concrete block house, so I’m thinking the only thing may go is the roof.

Okay, bitch!  Let’s get this party started!!!!!!

Listening to music, singing my heart out and waiting.  And, we all know how much I hate to wait!!! LOL!

School’s been cancelled, my son is thrilled.  I’m in continuous prayer for our safety and the safety of the people who may be impacted by this storm.  My prayer is that the storm will keep moving eastward and zip on out into the Atlantic.  We can always hope.

I’m so hoping it won’t impact us; because on Sept. 24th I have tickets to Zac Brown Band in Tampa & I’d hate to have to miss it. 😦  Anyway, we shall see.  We shall see!

A week ago, I joined “Slimming World”.  It’s an online weight loss group with online meetings, accountability to a group and support when you need it.  I lost 11 lbs this past week.  Holy crap!  I’m sticking to it and have about 90 lbs to go.  Now, as long as I don’t got back on steroids, I should be able to do this.

The parental units are in Georgia, out of harms way.  Mother states the hotel is a fleabag; but at least they’re safe.  Her and the father are fighting; but I know it is because he lost a good friend on Friday and is just being his usual asshole self to everyone.  Not that he has a right to be an ass; but you know how it is.  He just can’t help himself.

 

Nightmares

So this week has been full of nightmares.  Started with the one that had me screaming and scaring my son and I both and continued over the week. UGH!

The second one I cannot remember; but woke up to me punching the mattress.  All I can think is that I must have been in a fight.  Who knows?

Next, I dreamed an elaborate American Horror Story nightmare, complete with Finn Wittrock as he killer I was trying to escape.  Unbelievable!!!

I discussed them with a friend at church last night and she thinks it may be because it’s been almost a year since my friend died, my cousin died and my ex-husband died.  Great, I’m going to be haunted by them until October.  Nice!  I’m hoping this is not the cause and it’s something else.  We shall see if the nightmares persist.

I do confess, though, I wish I could “download” the AHS nightmare; because I’d turn it into a best selling novel and share my crazy with the world. LOL!  It was pretty intense and would make a good book along the Stephen King line of horror stories.

According to Psychology Today, most nightmares are a normal reaction to stress, and some clinicians believe they help people work through traumatic events.  WebMD suggests that people with underlying diseases may also be the reason, two of which I personally suffer from (Sleep Apnea & PTSD).  Knowing this is no comfort and I will just have to ride this wave out.

My son & I spent a half hour yesterday getting his Senior Portraits taken.  Quick, easy and painless.  Tuxedo, Cap & gown and casuals taken in a studio.  We’ll see what we get.  Afterwards, we went to Chili’s for lunch and later went to church.

It’s been raining for days here and we have a small pond or large swimming pool in our backyard, along with a flooded front lawn and driveway.  Rain will continue through tomorrow as well.  They cancelled the football game due to in on Friday and it is supposed to be rescheduled for tomorrow; but if this rain continues, I doubt it will take place.  Flooding is everywhere and it was the main reason for the cancellation, so with no end in sight, I’m sure it will not be.

All this rain has the dogs not happy.  They don’t want to go out in the wetness to do their business.  I did get them to go out earlier this morning and they were not happy being wet at all.  Not that I blame them.

At least we’re not in Texas.  I pray for their safety.  I remember back in 2004 when we rode out Ivan, a category 5, with tremendous damage.  I’ll never do that again.  A tornado ripped through our back yard and we were fortunate enough that it wasn’t 10 feet closer or our house would’ve been destroyed.  Never again!  That was a bad year for Florida with 4 major hurricane hits.

And life goes on……

 

Justified

I absolutely love the Apostle Paul. What a brilliant man, whom Jesus chose to be a Disciple in the 30 days after His crucifixion. Paul was a scholar, a lawyer and knew Jewish law by heart. However, he became one of the strongest follower of Christ and spreader of the new Christian religion in the first century. He’s also responsible for writing 2/3’s of the New Testament. I just love intelligence and it was something Paul loved to share with his fellow followers.

Last night’s service was on Justification. How we are all justified by the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. How, by faith alone, we get to heaven. By Faith Alone! Romans is one of the hardest books of the bible because it is Paul explaining how the Laws of Moses are no longer a way to get to heaven; but only through the faith we give to God and Jesus.

Through the cross, Jesus shed His blood for us, paying for our sins, once and for all. Confess that Jesus is Lord, was crucified, died, and rose on the 3rd day, and you are free.  Our sins are gone. Forgiven by God, we are now righteous and justified in the eyes of the Lord. WOW!!!! We can’t get to heaven through good works, only through Jesus. Even those who try to get there by following the law will fail daily. Paul tells us that we do. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who resides within us for only His help gets me through the day.

Justified = Just as if I never sinned. To be righteous with the Lord. Make straight.

Confess that Jesus is Lord. Confess your sins to the Lord. Repent and you’re forgiven. God forgives, all we must do is ask.

Only God can help us to heal. For years, I’d held onto the past.  For years, I allowed it to keep me in anger, fear and hurt.  It was not until I came back to God that I have been able to move forward and get where I am now, forgiven and free.

I’m presently reading the book of Ezekiel in the bible.  It’s a tough one.  It presents God’s anger with the Israelites and the punishment He allowed them — 70 years captive by the Babylonians.  Only Ezekiel & Daniel were able to stay righteous in the eyes of the Lord.  Ezekiel, the prophet, who told the Israelites God’s intentions and Daniel, who stayed faithful to God in prayer and heart.

I’ve been very busy over the last few months with bible study.  I’ve done “The Daniel Prayer” by Ann Lotz, a study of Psalms by Cindy Heald, a study of Ruth by Liz Higgs and now Ezekiel.  I’m digging in deep to the word and learning my Father’s ways and words.  He is truly a wonderful Father.

School is back in session and we’re settling into the new year.  My boy is a Senior and back in band classes and Marching Band.  So proud of him.  First game is Friday and it’s away, so I’ll be a chaperone for the night.  He has a new band director, so I will be able to attend.

I had a horrible nightmare the other night and woke up screaming.  Scared my son, who came running from his room on the other side of the house.  I must have been really loud for him to have heard me with his headphones on.  YIKES!  I told him I’d rather dream of Pennywise than what I had dreamed that night.

The eclipse was nothing like I thought it would be.  Barely even darkened the sky here.  It was darker in yesterday’s thunderstorm than the eclipse.  Location, location, location. LOL!

I think our oldest dog, who is 12, is getting ready to cross the rainbow bridge.  He’s lost some bladder control and sleeps more hours than is awake.  He’s not in pain; just slowing down.  We shall see.

Still awaiting God’s perfect timing and have been really calm and patient lately.  I’m surprised by how calm I have been.  I can work myself up into a tizzy when I want to; but haven’t even given it much effort lately. Ha, ha.

Life is good. ❤

 

Thinking, thinking, thinking…..

Sometimes my brain just can’t shut down.  Drives me nuts!!!  Lately I’ve been trying to figure out why so many people, including my family, have no love for me.  It is baffling.

Now, I have to mention, I have reconciled all of these things.  I have forgiven everyone and let it all go.  This is just me trying to figure it out.  I mean, am I such a terrible person?  I don’t think so; but these things happened.  So, why?

I was raised by two people who, despite me loving with all my heart, didn’t like me.  My mother’s favorite thing to say to me, until I finally confronted her about it when I was 26 years old, was “I hate you.  I wish you’d never been born.”  She also used to sing a song about wanting to stick me in a garbage can, because I wasn’t worth a damn.  She told me, for the last time, “I hate you.  I wish you’d never been born,” to which I finally replied.  “I know.  I have known for the last 26 years.  I wish you had had an abortion instead of having me.  I can’t help it that I am here.  I’m sorry you hate me.”   She never said it again and continues, to this day, to make sure to tell me she loves me.

My father considers me a burden on his life.  He once told a friend that I am a vengeful person, who plots out ways to hurt other people.  He told me that I am a cold, cold woman; because I got upset that my ex was a cheating abuser.  He stated that I am a liar, thought I live in honesty.  He’s stated that I am the biggest problem in the family, whom no one likes.  He’s stated that I cause trouble; because I love to do it.  I am mean spirited and hateful.  He has also stated that I got what I deserved when my ex beat me nearly to death.  The person who he told this to lived with me for 9 years and never saw any of this in me.  He even told my own son, while they were vacationing at my sister’s home, that I was a horrible person.  Not to mention that my sister tagged on by saying it was my fault in 2010 that we left early, despite the fact that my father made the decision after she cursed out my mother.

I’ve had friends that have used me horribly and then went about speaking ill of me and I have no idea why.  Baffles my mind.  Yes, I am outspoken.  Yes, I speak the truth even when it hurts.  But that is no reason to be hateful to me.  Sorry, I don’t sugar coat it.

I have given people the shirt off my back (so to speak) and still been bad mouthed.  What I have figured out, though, is that I AM a good person.  I am not what others think of me.  I am who God says I am, not others.  I have taken in strangers in order to help.  I have forgiven people who have gone back and hurt me again, only for me to forgive again.  I paid my friend’s rent for two months, took her in when evicted and still, she treated me like I was so much mud under her feet.  I’ve given freely with my time, my money, my love, my possessions, only to have others treat me like crap!

I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem belongs to them, not me.  I am not the problem, it is they who have a problem in which they need to address.  It is their minds and mental defects that have given them the problem and I am just the one who has become their target.  I pray for them.  I don’t know what else to do; but that.

I have moved on from those who have hurt me terribly.  I don’t owe them anything.  I don’t let them have rent free space in my head anymore, except when I have sleepless nights of trying to figure out the whole human psyche.  LOL!  What makes them tick?  I may never know.  I am merely curious as to “why”.

 

Amazing Day!!

So, my breathing machine had a message on it “Attention, motor has exceeded limit.” So, I call the VA Sleep Clinic when they open at 8 am.   They get me in TODAY and I get a new machine and a tiny mask to fit my little nose.  OMG it is the smallest one they have for a child and is perfect for me and doesn’t really bother my Trigeminal Nerve like the other ones do.  YEAH!!!  God is good!

I get up at 6:30 am and let the dogs out and wait for the clinic to open.  Well, I log onto FB to post on my church FB page the daily scripture and prayer and after 8 months of praying for my guy to get a better job or at least one where he isn’t traveling as much and LOW & BEHOLD, HE DID!  I freaked out!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!  First step in God’s master plan.  Oh how sweet it is.  I have been on cloud nine ever since.  I tell you, Our God is faithful to those who are faithful and true to him.

Each night, I include in my prayers that God put a protective hedge around my guy, keeping him safe from any harm while traveling to and from work.  I ask God to heal his body, mind, spirit, soul and heart.  I ask God to keep his family safe so that he has no worries for them while he is traveling.  I ask that he meet with Godly people who will keep his eyes focused on the Lord.  I ask God to protect his job or get him one that doesn’t require him to travel and work so many hours.  To let him get enough sleep and rest.  And lastly, I ask God to write our love story so that it is truly beautiful. 

I’m actually giddy to see what He has in store for us!!!!!  I can’t even imagine.  All I know is that God let me know that it will involve a phone call from him to me.  When?  No clue.  How?  No clue.  All I know is that I will at some time in the future.

Knowing, beyond a doubt, that he is going to be mine is a thrill in itself.  I will continue to pray for him, for us and as usual for anyone who is in need.  Pray Until Something Happens.

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Summer

Summer here in Florida is always hard for me.  Daily summer storms and low pressure cause me such physical distress.  From headaches and constant nerve pain to pains in my feet and hands drive me crazy.  Come the end of September, it will be 25 years of this body of mine beating me down.  <sigh> Such is life.

I hate complaining.  I truly do.  It doesn’t help me, it doesn’t help anyone, so I mostly keep it to myself.  Of course, in a moment of true weakness, I do let the pain get the better of me and cry out about it.

I have been waiting 8 months now on God’s plan.  I’m not sure if I wrote about it; but while reading a book a couple weeks ago, the author asked if the reader ever prayed for “God’s Will”.  I was stunned.  I have prayed for discernment, I’ve prayed for the plan,  prayed for understanding; but not specifically for God’s will.  So, I found this prayer and did so.

Gods Will.jpgThe very next day, in my morning study, I received my answer, which was not just to dig deeper into God’s word; but also the name of the MAN who it would be, same man’s name that he has sent me from day one and every time I’ve ask for clarity on the man, I’ve been given the name as well as the nickname of the man.  GOD IS GOOD!

I cannot, in my wildest dreams, have imagined such clear direction from God and such clarity in all of my faith walk.  I am beyond blessed by this loving and gracious Lord.  I look so forward to God bringing His plan for my life to fruition.  Oh, how I long for my blessing from the Lord.

I love this man.  I love him because the Lord has given him to me.  I only long to get to know him so that the love the Lord has in store for me will solidify with who the man is.  I know he is a good man.  I know he is honorable.  I know that he is kind.  I know that he has a good heart.  Now, I need to know the “day to day” ins and outs of the person he is.  Only time will tell, in God’s perfect timing.

I have dug in deep to the word of the Lord.  I love to do so.  I love to read it and study it.  I thank the Lord for His part in my life.