2 Years

I almost titled this “Happy Anniversary” but thought that is a stupid thing to say.  This “anniversary” is rather sad than happy.  Yesterday marked 2 years since he passed.  It marked over three years of true health struggles and illness.  It marked the end of pain so deep and killing.  It marked the end of a person who struggled so hard and lost before he could truly live.

I know all his secrets.  I know all his pain.  I know what broke his heart and who those people were.  I felt his pain as deeply as I do my own.

I grieved with him.  I grieved for him.

Post Traumatic Stress is real.  It’s life destroying if you don’t treat it.  It can lead to alcohol or drug abuse. It can lead to suicide, domestic abuse, self harm, food addiction and more.  It’s not easy to live with and a trigger can be anything.

He struggled with alcohol.  He struggled with diabetic neuropathy.  He couldn’t get his pain under control.  His doctor wouldn’t help him.  His liver was destroyed, not by the alcohol alone; but also from his doctor prescribing a 3 month supply of medication in less than two months; because he was an alcoholic, they’d not give him a narcotic.

It doesn’t matter the why anymore.  What matters is that a life so full of pain — child abuse, spousal abuse, trust issues, PTSD and alcohol abuse, all compounded to make this man’s life short.  He died one week before his 47th birthday.

He spent his last 3 months in home hospice where I took care of his every need.  I regret nothing.  I try to only focus on the good times we had in our near decade of knowing each other.  But sometimes, when my depression and PTSD kick in, I remember the hard times and abuse.  It’s not easy.  I try to forget.  I just can’t.

Ah, the mind and its memories.

 

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Confessions of a Drama Queen!

It’s been one week and one day since I became a home owner. The move itself was horrible!!!  Took two days to move and an entire day to clean the old place.  From removing dust and grime to shampooing carpets and mopping floors, I did it all.  The place was so clean you could eat off the floors.  I found two holes in the walls behind beds and a hole in the carpet, from Miss Honi, also under the bed.  UGH!  Told owner to bill me.  By Sunday, I was so sore I couldn’t move and felt like crap.  Spent the day resting in order to begin the unpack at the new place.

So, on the 1st, we had the final walk through.  This resulted in me not being very happy at all.  Grass was not mowed and despite listing the washer and dryer in the sale, the seller took it with him.  I was not a happy gal at all.  I spoke to my mortgage broker at United Veteran’s and she was also fumed at the deception.  Not cool.

By the time I spoke with her, I was cooled down.  I told her I’d decided to pick my battles and this was one not worth the fight.  The only thing I could do was not show for the closing; but seriously, after all that stress and work, I’d be the bigger fool.  Water under the bridge at this point.

Closing went well and took an hour.  My son and four of his friends showed up and packed the truck.  We had 2 loads the first day and 2 the next.  We had to stop twice due to extensive rains, which sucked; but we did it.  Friday evening, we turned in the truck and headed over to watch the marching band’s premier at 7 pm before heading out to the new place.  Saturday was spent cleaning and I finally left at 8 pm.

After a day of rest, my son and I ate brunch with an old friend on Monday and then went off to purchase new beds, a lawn mower and a few odds and ends.  So far, I haven’t been able to get the lawn done yet.  I’ve got the back yard partially mowed so as not to lose the dogs, though and they can’t escape to the front and get hurt, either.  The mower is currently in the kitchen. LOL!!!  Don’t ask.  The living room is nearly complete.  My room has a bed and dresser and boxes, as does my sons and the craft room is completely full of boxes waiting to be unpacked.  UGH!  Slow & steady.

Yesterday we did 7 loads of laundry at the laundromat and it cost me a small fortune, too.  I can’t even remember the last time I went to the laundromat and it cost $3.50 to wash and $0.50 for 10 minutes of dry time.  Took us several hours; but we now have clean towels, clothes and bedding. YEAH!  I’m going to have to wait until next month to get a washer and dryer.

I have some bragging to do, though.  My son and his friends were a great help.  My son showed the most incredible strength and even wowed his friends at the amount of weight he can lift.  He’s stronger than I realized.  With his help, we got the job done.  He has done all that I have asked him to do and more.  I’m so proud of this young man and his devotion to us as a family and doing what is necessary to get us settled into our new home.

He’s had his PS4 for a number of years now and it just went caput.  He’s tried to get it to work and even did a major reset, losing all his games and it’s still not working well.  So, since he was so incredible and hasn’t complained, I went ahead and ordered him a new one, which will arrive Monday.  Can’t wait to surprise him with it. ❤

Got mail for the first time yesterday.  Woot, woot!  I also went and got my nails done.  I was in desperate need.  Broke 3 of them (very painfully) over the last week and I don’t even want to discuss how painful my hands have been.  I actually had to take my tramadol the first 3 nights the pain was so bad.  I just couldn’t sleep without some kind of pain relief and Tylenol wasn’t doing it.  Besides the pain aspect (which is a never ending thing with me) the move wasn’t so bad.  It could have been worse; so I am grateful.

I think it was harder on the dogs than on us.  They were really distressed over all the commotion and turmoil.  They seem to be settling in now, especially since we have brought their stuff over and made them a place for it all.

I’m no where near finished with this place; but I am chugging along.

Thank You for Your Service

So, I’m watching the movie, “Thank You for Your Service”, a movie about what happens when a soldier comes home from war.  It deals with PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury, and the VA health care system.

I remember when I was first discharge from the Marines when I was a young woman and first went to the VA hospital closest to my home in NY.  I filled out paperwork, enrolled in the system and filed a claim.

I was treated like shit.  From the first doctor on.  I was in massive pain, I waited hours to be seen by a doctor.  I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I waited to be called in.  I couldn’t take the pain.  I was miserable.  I was hurting.  I saw the doctor, who gave me nothing; but a referral to Psych.  I went to the VA Psych hospital and was taken to a room where I was patted down by two male security guards, who only used the metal detective wand on the males and was treated to a groping.  I then saw the doctor, who made the situation worse and I left there feeling 10x’s worse and assaulted.

The movie tells the characters that it will take up to 12 weeks for the claim to go through; but realistically, it’s more like 6-9 months.  For me, it took 2 years.  I filed in October 1994 and received benefits in October 1996.

The problem is and always will be that the system is broken and now that we have even more service men and women filing everyday, it’s like putting twenty pound bag of sugar on a scale that only measure up to a pound.  It’s going to break and the sad thing is these men and women NEED the help, desperately.

I hurt so much for them.  I feel their pain.  I dream their nightmares.  I struggle, still, with a system that doesn’t give a fuck about it’s patience or those that serve this country after they leave service.

I was last seen by a doctor at the VA clinic September 2016, right after losing my best friend.  You are supposed to be seen at least once a year or you are unenrolled.  My prescriptions are renewed with just an email and when I tried, several times, to get an appointment, I’ve been given the run around.  I’d love to ask them, “Who do I have to kill in order to get an appointment?”, but I don’t want to get arrested or something.  SMH

As the movie ends, they tell you that the real men, whom the story is about, did finally get help.  It’s good to hear.  It’s nice to know that they are still out there and not part of the suicide statistic that is so high in the veteran community.

Everyone has a story to tell about their VA experience.  My father goes to the one in Miami.  He loves it.  His claim was quick and he’s treated like a king there.  Of course, it is veteran run.  People who know what the military is like and how to treat their fellow veterans.  I’m happy for him.  Wouldn’t it be great if the whole system was so much better?

I remember a few years ago hearing about how one VA facility had a makeover of it’s waiting areas and how it was so needed and they asked on veteran what he thought and they were not prepared for his answer, that’s for sure.  It would have been a better use of money had they revamped care and not where we have to wait for care.  That money would have helped more people on the medical side of things, don’t you think?  Yeah, they didn’t like it at all.  I had the same feeling they did.

Shortly after my friend died, I was having a conversation with a long time friend who had the opportunity to meet with President Trump on his campaign trail, before he was president.  Trump had asked those in attendance about VA health care and my friend told him what I had spent the last year dealing with at the local clinic and how my best friend had died because of their lax medical practices and his aid took notes on it.  I hope that it will help other veterans in the future.

 

 

Pain

It’s been a heck of a week.  Only a few days until graduation for the boy and I am so hoping that the pain will at least recede enough to make it tolerable.  I think it would be far better for my pain to be anywhere but in my face.  It’s like an open tooth.  It’s horrible.  I know, I know.  I’ve shared this before.  So sorry.  I just never thought that 26 years after a botched dental procedure I’d still be suffering such horrible pain and agony.  I guess no one with Trigeminal Neuralgia expects it to last.  Yes, there are days I can push the pain back; but I haven’t been able to do so in a while.  I guess I need to focus on doing that more often; but for whatever reason, I’m stumped as to how I used to do it. <sigh>

I took the kids to the beach a few times and we were lucky enough to be able to stand still as a school of sting rays swam around us, TWICE!!!  Such beautiful and majestic creatures and definitely one of my favorites.  I love seeing them in their natural habitat.

Sting ray season is from April to October and it is best to do the “ray shuffle” so as not to disturb them as they tend to hide just beneath the surface of the sand in water.  By shuffling your feet, you alert the rays that you are in the vicinity and they come out and remove themselves from the area.  Both times we were out on Sanibel, we came upon them in the late afternoon, as the sun was lower in the sky.stingrays.jpg

The parents will be here on Friday evening in preparation for graduation on Saturday morning.  They missed the awards ceremony; but to be honest, my son and I wish we’d missed it, too. LOL!

Anyway, we’re actually going to see Deadpool 2 tomorrow night and we’re looking forward to it.  Of course, nothing can top Avengers: Infinity War as the best movie EVER!  I’m such a nerdy comic book girl and the last 10 years of movies has been AWESOME!  I truly thought they couldn’t top Black Panther; but they DID!  The only thing that would’ve made it better is both this one and part 2 released within a few months, not a year; but I can’t be too pushy.  😀

Anyway, I hope to get through the next few days with minimal pain.  We certainly shall see.

Sunday Musings

Once again, I’m suffering from double ear infections.  UGH!  Every time I get one, I think back to the pediatrician who told my mother that my ear pain was psychosomatic and all I wanted was attention at the age of 13 and how she took it as gospel.  This is the same doctor who told my mother that my sister, at the age of 8, was insecure because she still slept with a teddy bear and that her stomach pains (which was a blocked intestine) was all in her head.  After hearing this, my mother took her x-rays and medical records to the ER in another county and was diagnosed immediately with the blockage and was told they caught it in time before it killed her. So, her believing this quack was an insult.  Because of it, I never complained again and kept my pain to myself.  It wasn’t worth the fight.

Anyway, I’m forever suffering from them.  When my son was a baby, I discussed it with his pediatrician, who told me that I shouldn’t have them either.  UGH!  Not everyone is the same.  It’s why I think I’ve had Lupus a lot longer than  when my diagnosis came in 2007.  It would explain a lot of other ailments over the years.

I’ve binge watched several shows on Netflix.  Just watched “6 Souls”, “The Five” and “The Fall” over the four days.  They were a little intense.   I’m a police show junky.

I’m worried about my son.  College, leaving home, etc.  He’s 18; but very naïve.  I’ve been letting him drive home from school daily.  I wanted to get him lessons; but at $70 an hour, I just can’t afford it.  So, we’re on our way to doing it slowly.  I just hope his confidence grows; because at present, he’s still very nervous.

I’m needing a new place to live.  I know that when the child support runs out, I’ll not be able to afford this place anymore.  A friend shared a link to some cute cottages; but at present, they’re not even built. They are going to be built in an area that I would not move to due to the high crime rate also, so Nope!  Since it’s “Snow Bird” season, rentals are not easy to find, so I’ll have to start looking during the March/April time period.

I’ve begun working the AV at church and still have my nose in the bible by doing a bible study of Philippians and reading the book, “Girls With Swords” by Lisa Bevere.  I’m hoping that God will reveal where He wants me to go and how He is going to get me there.  I’m feeling a bit lost right now and I just have to keep taking baby steps in hopes that it is the right direction.

I am so broken these days.  I can only hope to recover.  Hurt and heartache are no stranger to me.  I just feel like I’m drowning in it all the time.

Between heartache and illness, I’m just so tired of being sick and tired.

Long Week

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What a week this has been.  My son had rehearsals 3 out of 5 days and performances on two nights.  He played drums for the Choir concert on Tuesday evening and then had a Jazz performance on Thursday evening.  We no sooner ended Marching season and have now begun Indoor Drumline, which doesn’t end until April.

The Jazz performance was great.  His director singled him out and told about the song they were playing, “Drumming Man” which featured my son on the drums throughout.  Great piece and he did an incredible job.  He’s also stepped up and is subbing for our drummer at church, who had a stroke 3 weeks ago and is in rehab.  So proud of my boy. ❤

I went to the doctor on Friday due to this prolonged crap from Irma stirring up all kinds of garbage.  Gave me a more powerful antibiotic, two shots, singular and nasal spray.  Doctor told me I was full of fluid in my ears and my sinuses are swollen.  UGH!  So sick of this crap. 😦

My son and I went to see “Wonder” on Friday evening and it was pretty good.  He had read the book a while ago and was curious to see how good the movie was going to be.  He is now on my sh*t list.  He broke the cardinal law of taking me to the movies.  THE DOG DOES NOT DIE!  Anything can happen.  People can die, just don’t kill the dog.  Simple rule.  You’d think my kid would know better?  Nope.  Dog dies.  I lose it and he says, “Oops, Mom, I forgot.”  He’s grounded for the next few years!!!!!

After church last evening, we stopped at CVS.  We were in the Christmas aisle and I was playing with the musical animals.  One was doing a rocking rendition of Sleigh Bells and I was dancing.  Little did I know I was also being videoed and sent to my sons snap chat for all his friends to see.   Brat!  Though he got a lot of great responses to it like:  That is so your mom.  Aw, sweet!  She’s so much fun.   I’m not too upset, just caught off guard that he would do something like this.  SMH Gotta watch myself in public around this one.

We just got Netflix.  We’ve both binge watched “Stranger Things” and “Mindhunters”.  We like them both.  Not sure what the next thing will be.  We LOVE the new ABC show “The Good Doctor”.  He’s a big Freddie Highmore fan from “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” and “Spiderwick Chronicles”.  He didn’t really care for “Bates Motel”, though.

I can only imagine what this current week will bring our way.

 

Suicide is not an option……

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I know I’ve mentioned it before; but in case you didn’t remember, I’ve escaped death 7 times.  Yup, that’s right.  Faced it, died, & survived.  God was not finished with me yet.  I still have work to do on this planet and despite living in immense amounts of pain, I still have a purpose.

It’s hard being me.  With a million and one reasons to die, I still live.  Take the Trigeminal Neuralgia.  It’s nickname is “The Suicide Disease” because it is listed as the most painful disease in the world.  This year marks my 25 year as a sufferer for 24/7 365 days of torment. That is more than 1/2 of my life.  It sucks.  A neurologist once commented on how surprised he was that I was still alive; because so many don’t last as long as I have with the severity that I suffer with it.

However, trying to end it all is not an option.  Even though I have been hurt by those who love me, I just can’t do the same to them.  Plus, I love my son too much to leave him with that kind of legacy.  Heck, shortly after being discharged for the TN, a friend of my sister’s killed himself.  This led to a discussion between my other sister and father about the subject.  My father said he’d never forgive the person who did it and my sister told him that the only one she would forgive is me.  She just couldn’t imagine living my life.  This knocked me for a loop.  They had no idea I had tried a year earlier and lived.  They had no idea that upon waking that I figured out that God had another purpose for me and ending my life was not one of them, this being his second time for saving me from death.

I remember when my friend tried and I called an ambulance for him.  I remember how much it hurt me that he tried to give up on his life.  He suffered terribly with PTSD and drank and overate and the list goes on.  His health deteriorated and he passed a year ago.  His attempt hit me hard.  He told me to “get over it”; because it had nothing to do with me.  I was not permitted to feel anything over this situation.  I was not permitted to do anything; but suffer silently.

That’s the thing.  When facing suicide, the person contemplating it doesn’t see anyone but themselves.   Some use it as a cry for help.  Some truly want to die.  Some want pity.  Some need attention.  Some succeed.  And some destroy those around them by leaving behind so many unanswered questions, guilt, heartbreak, nightmares, and more.

Suicide is more than taking a life.  It is destroying those who love and care for you.  There is nothing so bad in this life that dying is the only answer!!!!  You will have your heart torn out of your chest, stomped on and left in the dirt by someone you love.  Time will heal your heart and God will fill in the gaps.  You will get fired.  You will lose a loved one.  You will crash your car, be homeless, have no money, or a million other tragedies and you can survive!

Several years ago, I came across a link to an article bearing a familiar name.  It was about a young Marine who was over in the Gulf and lost both legs.  On the page was a photo of the young man as a boy with his two sisters.  I took that picture.  It was one Thanksgiving over in Japan.  The beautiful, smiling face stared back at me and the memories of my time overseas, with this family, flashed before me.  I held that boy in my arms and read to him.  I baby sat him.  I worked with his dad.

As I read the article, I found out about what his community was doing for him as a disabled veteran.  His mother recalled how this young man was such a happy go lucky person and that despite this “setback” he was still that same guy.  The once 6′ 3″ man was now closer to half that tall, uses a wheelchair most of the time, is an encouragement to those he knows and to those he doesn’t.  What to some is a horrible disability, to him is a life.  He even visits other veterans and offers encouragement to them in their own situations.  I’m so impressed with this young man and even contacted him.

Suicide was NOT an option.  His wife and child believe this as well.

You will face tragedy, that is a sure thing.  You can and will survive.  So many times, I’ve reached out to God in conversation about the life I have led and why I had to go through so much heartache.  Though He gives no answers, I am comforted by the fact that He loves me so much that he won’t even allow me to die.  I am that important.

I have been hated by my parents and sisters.  I have been molested by a sick uncle.  I was forcibly raped and brutalized.  I was beaten and abused.  I have been cheated on by a man who “vowed” to love me forever.  He nearly killed me.  I have been lied to, ignored, verbally abused, and I am still here.  I have stared evil in the face and I am still here.  I have sacrificed my needs and wants to care for others who would never do the same for me.  I have saved lives and I have held the hands of those who slipped away from this life.  I have lived in hell and yet, I am still HERE!

After my failed attempt, I accepted that God has an important job for me here.  So, I thrived and survived all this world has thrown at me.  I have risen up out of the ashes of my past in order to show the world what triumph is.  I kneel at the foot of my Father’s throne and arise, wearing the full armor of the Lord so that I may battle the forces of evil.  I am a warrior!  I am the phoenix!  I am the SURVIVOR!!!

Suicide is NOT an option!

Ah, memories

I was looking for a photo when I came across this document from 7/8/12 that when reading brought me straight back to the situation.  UGH!  Pain is such a huge part of my life; but then so was this friend.  Why do I always find the users and abusers?  At least they have never stolen my good heart. 😀 Here it is:

Blinding Pain

So, I am in the most pain I can imagine and I am wishing for death — any kind of relief I can get at this point. I just can’t even breath it is so bad. If my head exploded, I’d not be surprised at all. I am in agony.

Moans escape my lips without me even realizing they belong to me. I can not understand how it is that I am still alive. My stomach is rolling around like it is steps away from vomiting and I don’t know how the contents of my stomach are still intact. Why me?

Darkness surrounds my room and it is the only thing I am most grateful for at this point. I can not bear the thought of any light intruding on my eyes without blinding pain seeping further into my brain. It is like a nightmare and yet I am wide away because of the pain. Sleep is so elusive, there is only pain.

Anger and madness dwell here.

My friend comes to the house and further instigates a fight with me. I can’t defend myself against anything, defenses completely down; but he insists on being here. I hate him. I want to be left alone. I want to suffer in silence. I need the solitude; but No! He will not allow it. He will not leave. He has to talk to me. The noise is killing me. My ears as sensitive to sound as my eyes are to light.

Yet, he rattles on and on about nonsense. I can’t bear it; but still he prattles on. I am in AGONY! He is further hurting me with his endless litany of shit. How I hate him. He is drunk. He is a bastard. He does not care that I am in such pain, all that matters to him is himself. I hate his selfishness.

I beg him to leave. I order him to leave. I scream at him to leave and yet, there he sits, not a care in the world but himself, still talking, still ignoring me and still prattling on and on. Oh and I am the crazy one. I am just nuts. Screaming and carrying on the way I do.

HE HAS INVADED MY HOME AND I AM IN PAIN; BUT I AM THE CRAZY ONE!!! HE IS DISTURBING ME AND I AM CRAZY! HE WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE AND I AM CRAZY!

I get angry. I feel I have the right. He, on the other hand, feels I have no right to my anger. I can’t believe his is so insensitive. –end–

Oh how I remember this night.  I’d crawled into bed to try and escape only to have my home, my bedroom and my life invaded, as if I had no right in the world to be in pain, to be upset, to be angry, to be me.

I’m so over letting people treat me badly.  I’m over being used.  I’m over being a door mat.  I just want to be free to be me.  If any man wants to be in my life, he has to treat me right.  I have always treated those I am involved with like Kings.  If they can’t treat me equally well, I’m sending them out the door.  I have learned that I am the daughter of  the King of Kings, and I deserve the best!

Bad Day

Today is a bad day.  Nothing bad has happened, it’s just a blah kind of bad day.  I am feeling low, vulnerable and in a lot of pain.  The weather is reflecting my mood, as it is overcast and cold.  It’s a soup and biscuits day.  Foods that offer comfort and love.

I woke up in massive pain.  I am walking around in a foggy haze of pain.   They began to collect hurricane debris this week in my neighborhood, first removing it from my front yard to the vacant lot on the corner and then collecting it yesterday from the lot and other areas with large amounts.  This stirred up all the allergens and I’m suffering for it dearly.  Ears, nose and throat all clogged up and headache from hell.  UGH!  Just kill me!

I’m sitting here in silence and darkness, praying for relief that I know will not come.  I just have to ride it out until either the rain comes and dampens it down or the wind comes and blows it away.

I hate when I am feeling this way.  It makes me vulnerable to outside forces that make me weepy and depressed.  I’m trying to hold it all together; but sometimes, these forces get the better of me.

My son turned 18 this week and I am so proud of the man he is becoming.  I am grateful that the abuse we suffered at the hands of his father have not turned him into a replica of that man’s evil.  I’m grateful to God for allowing my son to see the good in people, to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others and that he, unlike his sire, has empathy for those around him.

He told me last night that during the half time show, one of the gals on bass drum dropped the drum from her harness and just stood there at a loss.  He was watching her and realized she wasn’t going to do anything about it, so he yelled to her, “Pick up your drum.”  This spurred her into action and they continued on with the show.  Afterwards, he went to her and apologized to her for yelling, at which point, she explained that she hadn’t known what to do and that for some reason, the harness was the problem and she began to cry.  He felt horrible and told her it was okay, they’d figure it out.

My son told me, hours later, that he was still feeling badly for having yelled at her.  I told him that at least he apologized and that he was going to check out the harness and ensure this didn’t happen again, so he was relieved at having a solution to the problem.  I further told him that when she froze, not knowing what to do, getting her to do what was necessary was a good thing, even if it felt like it was a bit harsh.  I am proud of him.  He’s a good man.  I can’t wait to see what he will do with his life.

I can hardly believe that this year is nearly over.  It has gone very quickly and I know it won’t be long before he graduates and goes off to college.  He’s filling out applications now and he’s also videoing his auditions.  He is working hard and I am so proud of him.

 

Nightmares

So this week has been full of nightmares.  Started with the one that had me screaming and scaring my son and I both and continued over the week. UGH!

The second one I cannot remember; but woke up to me punching the mattress.  All I can think is that I must have been in a fight.  Who knows?

Next, I dreamed an elaborate American Horror Story nightmare, complete with Finn Wittrock as he killer I was trying to escape.  Unbelievable!!!

I discussed them with a friend at church last night and she thinks it may be because it’s been almost a year since my friend died, my cousin died and my ex-husband died.  Great, I’m going to be haunted by them until October.  Nice!  I’m hoping this is not the cause and it’s something else.  We shall see if the nightmares persist.

I do confess, though, I wish I could “download” the AHS nightmare; because I’d turn it into a best selling novel and share my crazy with the world. LOL!  It was pretty intense and would make a good book along the Stephen King line of horror stories.

According to Psychology Today, most nightmares are a normal reaction to stress, and some clinicians believe they help people work through traumatic events.  WebMD suggests that people with underlying diseases may also be the reason, two of which I personally suffer from (Sleep Apnea & PTSD).  Knowing this is no comfort and I will just have to ride this wave out.

My son & I spent a half hour yesterday getting his Senior Portraits taken.  Quick, easy and painless.  Tuxedo, Cap & gown and casuals taken in a studio.  We’ll see what we get.  Afterwards, we went to Chili’s for lunch and later went to church.

It’s been raining for days here and we have a small pond or large swimming pool in our backyard, along with a flooded front lawn and driveway.  Rain will continue through tomorrow as well.  They cancelled the football game due to in on Friday and it is supposed to be rescheduled for tomorrow; but if this rain continues, I doubt it will take place.  Flooding is everywhere and it was the main reason for the cancellation, so with no end in sight, I’m sure it will not be.

All this rain has the dogs not happy.  They don’t want to go out in the wetness to do their business.  I did get them to go out earlier this morning and they were not happy being wet at all.  Not that I blame them.

At least we’re not in Texas.  I pray for their safety.  I remember back in 2004 when we rode out Ivan, a category 5, with tremendous damage.  I’ll never do that again.  A tornado ripped through our back yard and we were fortunate enough that it wasn’t 10 feet closer or our house would’ve been destroyed.  Never again!  That was a bad year for Florida with 4 major hurricane hits.

And life goes on……