I Drive Myself Crazy!

I truly don’t need anyone else to do it; because I do it all by myself. LOL!

I’ve been following the adventures of Jonathan & Ben Carlin on youtube under the name “supercarlinbrothers”.  They do two new videos a week in which they discuss various topics.  They’ve been around for the last 5 years at least and I just discovered them and do enjoy their theories, adventures and commentary.

Finished my last day of PT on Friday and feel a heck of a lot better than I did when I initially hurt my shoulder.  So grateful for that.  Will miss my therapist, Hailey.  We had a lot of fun teasing each other and making the 45 minute session go quickly.

Considering joining a gym; but don’t like it how they seem to have all these hidden fees that spring up once you’re sucked in.  UGH!  Maybe after my vacation I’ll do it.  At present, I’m doing the exercises here, so as long as I continue, I should be okay with it.

VACATION!!!!  I’ll be taking my son with me up to Virginia the first two weeks of June to visit one of my dearest friends from my USMC days.  He and his wife invited us up and though we have never lost touch all these years, we haven’t seen each other in 20 years.  It is going to be a nice visit for sure.  I’m counting the days! 😀

Three more chapters in “He Still Moves Stones” and it has been a fantastic journey.  My women’s bible study has only 3 more chapters in 1 Corinthians before we break for the summer.  We just did 1 Cor 13 and went verse by verse on it in discussion.  We tore it apart and learned a lot about God’s Love.  Without love, our whole lives are incomplete.

I’ve been keeping a vision journal alongside my current prayer journal, which chronicles my vision journey.  The good, the bad and the ugly in black and white.  I keep so many journals for various things.  scripture, life, prompts, pain, etc.  I am also writing in one as letters to my love, all about different aspects of my life and as a way to talk to him when he won’t talk to me.  Such a difficult journey, to wait on the Lord’s perfect timing; but I am doing what I need to do to get through it.

The best part of this journey, though, is that God is answering me all the time.  It is so strange, too.  I pray to him and then He will show me through my daily devotional or even through my personal bible study.  I was reading the book and two chapters, each on the days I had questions or needs, revealed to me what I needed to hear.  It was incredible.  I talked with my son about it and he laughs at me; but he also believes me.  He laughs; but it has more to do with the way I tell him about it than the message.  My faith is strong.

God put on my heart this week to make a motivation/scripture book for my friend’s son who is graduating.  I put photos in it with things like he was wanted, he has a purpose, God has a plan, prayer works, etc. I felt with our conversation that he may have been in need.  Then, once I got the thought, I couldn’t get rid of it, so I finally did it and feel better about doing it.  Sent it out Friday and he should get it Monday or Tuesday.  He’s a really sweeet young man.  I only hope he likes it.

My son’s concert is on Tuesday.  Last of this school year.  He also has an awards banquet on the 12th.  I’m only hoping the time flies; because I so want to go on vacation. LOL!  Only 20 days of school left for him.  YEAH!  I can hardly believe he’s going to be a Senior next year.  Time flies.

 

God Is Good!

I began reading Max Lucado’s new book, “He Still Moves Stones” and I’m on chapter 4 last night and right there, in black and white, it shows me that even Jesus had trouble with his family.  WOW!  Max let me know that it is okay that I have walked away from my sisters and father due to the way they treat me.  That Jesus left His family and it wasn’t until His death that His family sang His praises.  (No I don’t want them to sing my praises when I’m dead)  It is just good to know that I’m in good company with the family thing.  😀

This past weekend, I took my son and his friend to Daytona to watch the FFCC Championship.  Last year, our High School won 1st Place.  This year, the lazy band director wouldn’t do Indoor Drumline, much to the kids disappointment.

Daytona was beautiful.  The weather excellent.  The hotel sucked!  They never cleaned our room on Saturday while we were gone all day.  Not happy.  No clean towels and when I went to the front desk, no one was there; but a sign that says “we’re full”.

The competition was great.  Very much so for us.  The boys hung out with friends from another school and just had a stress free weekend.  My son got sunburn on the top of his feet.  He missed school yesterday since he couldn’t wear shoes.  SMH.  Walked the beach.  Went to the fishing pier.  Saw dolphins and black tip sharks in the water.  I got a little sun; but I know better than to over expose myself due to the Lupus.  I bought a nice purple ball cap that I just love and almost bought a turtle; but worried he wouldn’t make it home alive.

I went to Bubba Gump for an early dinner/late lunch before going over to the arena and I must say it was delish!  The waiter was great, the whole staff, actually.  I had the Calamari and a shrimp po’boy along with 2 Georgia Peach tea’s that gave me a slight buzz; but wore off very quickly.  LOL!

Started PT yesterday.  Not too bad, so far.  I had to wear a pain pump patch for 3 hours afterwards which is a type of cortisone.  At least I’m not allergic to it. Ha, ha.

 

 

Life’s like this sometimes

Today, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my life.  I reread a few messages I’ve received from a friend who gives great advice and I realize what a wonderful mind he has and what a great way with words.  I admire those who can articulate well.  In a world of hashtags, abbreviations and slang, it is a great thing to be able to string more than two words together that make sense.  So many of my son’s friends can barely speak correctly, let alone write a sentence.  Writing almost seems a lost art; but I hold on to hope.

Anyway, I digress.  This beautiful person’s words so touch my heart and when I compliment, it doesn’t seem to mean as much to him as it does to me.  SMH.

Since injuring my arm/shoulder last week and having the MRI today, I have been a bit sad.  Things don’t seem to be going the way I want them to and I’m not letting God have control and believe me, He’s let me know it, too.  He sent me a scripture about it, too, just to make sure I was paying attention.  Can’t get more specific than “Beautiful things will happen when God says it’s time.”  Oh and I received this as my message from God that day, too:  “Trying to force life to unfold faster than it is mean to is futile.  Call forth your patience and let it move at its own pace.”

Anyway, I saw this injury as a setback and began to get really upset.  I made it into a major deal, even though I just had the MRI today and have no idea the extent of the injury at this point.  I’ve imagined the worse, made it a major setback and have been so upset by the whole thing.  Of course, the fact that the pain was so horrible I wanted to rip the arm off and beat someone with it is beside the point.  I couldn’t even handle pain anymore.  Too much after too long suffering uncontrollable pain as well as not being able to take anything to dull the pain was just too much for me to cope with and I had a mini freak out.

The pain is manageable today and that is a plus.  I began reflecting on my life.  Where I am, where I am going, where I want to be and what God has planned and the path to get there.  I am overwhelmed with it all.  I had to step back, let go of control and let God do the work.  It is not easy.

I have this great hope in God and His plan for my life.  I want it yesterday.  I get overwhelmed by it all.  I sometimes wish He never let me know the plan.  LOL! However, that would not be teaching me the patience He so wants me to learn.

I so wish I could sit down and discuss it with Him in a way that He’d explain it all; but I know that won’t happen.  It’s just not God’s way.   So I, like so many other believers, have to wait and see as this plays out, one day at a time.  I am struggling.  Not that I have doubts in Him.  I have doubts in me.  I have doubts in the plan of how.  I have doubts in the other person coming around.

I’m doing so much praying these days.  I just hope that I will grow closer to Him and him.  I guess only time will tell.