Unconditional Love

I love my son’s friends.  In his 18 years of life, he’s only had one “temporary” friend whom I did not like; because he was nothing but trouble.  His mother, unfortunately, encouraged it and I put an end to it.

I digress.

Yesterday, my son & 2 friends went to DQ with me.  We all sat together and talked for an hour about all they were going through as Seniors this year.  College essays, applications, dreams, goals and how to achieve them.  The one friend has completed all her applications and is in “wait” mode.  My son filled out two applications to his school of choice and the third friend is in the process of applying to several places.  She is stressed to the max.  Her mom is riding her butt to get it done.

As we sat and spoke of all these things, I couldn’t help but think back on all the times the four of us have gone to movies, to eat, did projects together and enjoyed each others company.  So many conversations between the four of us; but not just that.  They’ve been to my home, they’ve asked me for advice, they tell me they love me and they genuinely care about me as well as Ian.

I’m on all of their phones and have told them I would come get them, no matter the time or place, if they call.  No questions asked at that time; but we would discuss it later.  Hasn’t happened (yet) but they have the option.  I’ve always thought kids should have a “safe” place or person to talk with and try to be that person.

I’ve had kids tell me they wished I was their mom.  I’ve given hugs to those who needed it.  Been the shoulder to cry on when their heart is broken.  I’ve cheered them on and never let them feel that they weren’t the best and greatest person I’ve ever met.

I’ve celebrated victories with these friends of my sons.  I’ve celebrated birthdays with them.  I’ve offered encouragement, advice, love and correction.  I never lie to them, even if it hurts.   I’ve teased them, laughed at them and with them and my reward is more than I have ever thought possible, their love and affection.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mom.  I wanted little people I could love.  At 16, I was told it was impossible.  For the next 14 years, I believed it.  Two miscarriages due to blocked fallopian tubes and only one intact after the 2nd fetus ruptured one, I never thought I’d see the day.  Then, God blessed me with my miracle and I have loved and cherished that child ever since.

Now, all these years later, I have more kids than I can count and am happier for it.  I get hugs.  I get love.  I get to watch them grow and learn and thrive.

Yesterday also marked an interesting text from a young man who is a friend’s son.  The poor kid is sick.  He’s graduated, has a job; but no insurance and was desperate to purchase his medication to get better.  He’s not allowed to go to work for the next 5 days and asked me for help.  I purchased the scripts and told him not to worry about it, just focus on getting better.  He couldn’t thank me enough.  For me, it was a no brainer.  I didn’t need to ask him about his parents involvement, doesn’t matter.  I asked him nothing, except who to call to pay the bill.  For whatever reason, I was the go to person and since I already consider this young man a son, I only needed to meet the need, not grill him.  He is an honest, smart, kind and sweet young man of integrity.  That was all I needed to know.

Last night also brought a fall.  My son’s dog, Tippy, is 12 years old.  He’s not long for this world.  He has lost bladder control and is shaky.  He has fatty tumors, a bad eye and grumpy on a lot of days due to pain of old age.  Last night, I slipped in a puddle.  I landed hard on my left hip and elbow.  My elbow has a knot on it and is bruised and scraped.  Yes, I was covered in pee.  (GROSS) and immediately took a shower.  Was not happy since I’d just done so and was wearing fresh, clean clothes for the night; but he can’t help it.  I’m debating if I need to take him to the vet for our last good–byes; but I’m not there yet and he is not suffering.  Just keep praying for him.

You see, I’ve got this problem.  I love unconditionally these kids and this dog.  I don’t see their flaws, only their potential.  I think if we had more people who encouraged and loved, despite who they are, what they are or how they look, we’d have less ugly in this world.  I pray for them and sometimes with them.  I just hope when I’m old and they are no longer in my life, that they’ll remember me for this.

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22 Days

The tree is up.  Purple lights make it look dazzling.  No ornaments, yet.  My son wants a small holiday party with his friends.  I told him sure.  Just have to pick the date.

I’m so ready for this year to end.  2016 has been a rough year.  I am so looking forward to a new year.

Church tonight.  Looking forward to that as well.  After not being able to go to church at all over the last year and a half, it is so good to be back to going each week.  I really hated to miss; but I was needed at home and I am glad I was able to do what I did.

Still plugging along on the book.  It’s coming along nicely.  God is blessing me in this arena as well as with benefits for my boy.

Took another painting class last night.  Turned out pretty good.  I’ve made a few art journaling pages today.  I had a jewelry class Wednesday evening.  From that, I was able to make several pieces while awaiting for my son during his audition for All County.  I made a bracelet in pink for my friend, Michelle’s birthday, which was yesterday.

My sister, Vickie was going to my mother’s for Christmas; but has since changed them, so now my sister, Michelle will be there.  Neither my son, nor I want to go there for the holiday.  We were invited for turkey day; but we didn’t want to be there on that day, either.

My son wants us to go to Russell Stover’s store while he’s on vacation.  We’ll have to see how the money is; but I’m sure we’ll be able to do it.  He likes that place for some strange reason. Ha, ha.

My son got himself two new CD’s yesterday and we listened to them in the car.  Avenged Sevenfold’s new song, “Angel” is really great.  I like it a lot.  My son once dedicated one of their songs to me on FB and I have to tell you, it was beautiful.

I love all types of music.  My tastes run from Classical to Jazz to Heavy Metal, Rock n Roll, Pop, R&B, etc.  I can’t imagine there is music that I haven’t liked.  I got hooked on Country while in the USMC (how could I not with three roommates from the South — 2 Texas & one Louisiana. LOL!).  Music has always been my go to when I’m in need of some soul healing.

My mind is scattered today.  But just a little bit.  I can’t seem to concentrate on one thing or another.  It’s distracting me.  I hope I can stay focused on tonight’s sermon.  I need it.

Well, I’m off to where that may lead.  Hopefully not too wild and crazy.  😀

Creativity

I’m not sure what happened to my creativity. Lately, I feel that it has sizzled and died. My card making and scrapbooking have been lacking and I think I need a jump start.

I did, however, switch to finishing to crochet the blanket I’m making for my son. It is looking really good. I like it. It is a multicolored blue and I’ll be trimming it with navy blue when I’m finished. I’m not sure how much longer it will take until I finish; but shouldn’t be too much longer. He’s loving it.

I did take a painting class and will be going to one on Tuesday evening as well, which was a lot of fun. The class is pretty open and easy to follow instructions, that I enjoy, so it makes the time go quickly and every one who shows up feels like an artist. 🙂

I do take two card making classes each month, so it does help me that way and I can duplicate them. Sometimes, I just don’t feel all that inspired. I search and search Pinterest for Ideas; but sometimes they just all look the same. Nothing seems to inspire me.

I want to try so many crafts and things but I get so stumped as where to start. Stark white paper stares back at me and makes me want to scream sometimes. I journal, I blog, I make cards, scrapbooks, paint, clay, crochet and any other type of crafty stuff I can get into. I love it. I just want to know how to get started sometimes.

Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to face up to the fact that I will need to face up to that blank sheet and imagine more. 🙂

Playing Piano

So, I finally decided to learn to play the piano at the age of 43.  I took a series of classes at our local piano store to learn.  I’m doing fairly well, I think.  I’m having difficulty with the left hand; but I’m getting it.

I’ve gotten a few books on reading music and I’m learning to do that to make myself more proficient.  I’ve got two “teach yourself piano” books as well to  practice with.  It’s been a lot of fun learning what I’ve always wanted to know.

For me, music means the world and the world means music.  When I get to heaven, I think I’ll be in the heavenly choir or at least get to mop up after them, just to be near the music.

Music is such a vital part of my life.  It has brought me through some of my darkest hours.  It has lifted me up, it has allowed me to grieve, it has encompassed my soul.  It is the air that I breath.  I constantly have a song in my head.  I sing sporatically through out the day.  I never am far from my musical love.

I sometimes wish I could see music in the same way that the boy in the movie “August Rush” did.  Even though I do not, I do feel the pulse in my body.  Whether I’m singing a silly song, dancing in the grocery store aisle or marching to the beat of my own drummer, I love my music.

My son is also into music.  He plays the drums and tuba.  He’s been in lessons for over a year with his drums and he’s doing pretty good.  He took band in Middle School this year and learned tuba and really likes it.  I’m so proud of him for pursuing his desire to learn an instrument and now he does two.  He also has been tooling around with my keyboard and music as well.  He’s a natural when it comes to reading the music and does better than I do at the keys.  (DANG IT)

I think the variety of music available is so wonderful and I just love how it makes me feel.