I love my son’s friends. In his 18 years of life, he’s only had one “temporary” friend whom I did not like; because he was nothing but trouble. His mother, unfortunately, encouraged it and I put an end to it.
Yesterday, my son & 2 friends went to DQ with me. We all sat together and talked for an hour about all they were going through as Seniors this year. College essays, applications, dreams, goals and how to achieve them. The one friend has completed all her applications and is in “wait” mode. My son filled out two applications to his school of choice and the third friend is in the process of applying to several places. She is stressed to the max. Her mom is riding her butt to get it done.
As we sat and spoke of all these things, I couldn’t help but think back on all the times the four of us have gone to movies, to eat, did projects together and enjoyed each others company. So many conversations between the four of us; but not just that. They’ve been to my home, they’ve asked me for advice, they tell me they love me and they genuinely care about me as well as Ian.
I’m on all of their phones and have told them I would come get them, no matter the time or place, if they call. No questions asked at that time; but we would discuss it later. Hasn’t happened (yet) but they have the option. I’ve always thought kids should have a “safe” place or person to talk with and try to be that person.
I’ve had kids tell me they wished I was their mom. I’ve given hugs to those who needed it. Been the shoulder to cry on when their heart is broken. I’ve cheered them on and never let them feel that they weren’t the best and greatest person I’ve ever met.
I’ve celebrated victories with these friends of my sons. I’ve celebrated birthdays with them. I’ve offered encouragement, advice, love and correction. I never lie to them, even if it hurts. I’ve teased them, laughed at them and with them and my reward is more than I have ever thought possible, their love and affection.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mom. I wanted little people I could love. At 16, I was told it was impossible. For the next 14 years, I believed it. Two miscarriages due to blocked fallopian tubes and only one intact after the 2nd fetus ruptured one, I never thought I’d see the day. Then, God blessed me with my miracle and I have loved and cherished that child ever since.
Now, all these years later, I have more kids than I can count and am happier for it. I get hugs. I get love. I get to watch them grow and learn and thrive.
Yesterday also marked an interesting text from a young man who is a friend’s son. The poor kid is sick. He’s graduated, has a job; but no insurance and was desperate to purchase his medication to get better. He’s not allowed to go to work for the next 5 days and asked me for help. I purchased the scripts and told him not to worry about it, just focus on getting better. He couldn’t thank me enough. For me, it was a no brainer. I didn’t need to ask him about his parents involvement, doesn’t matter. I asked him nothing, except who to call to pay the bill. For whatever reason, I was the go to person and since I already consider this young man a son, I only needed to meet the need, not grill him. He is an honest, smart, kind and sweet young man of integrity. That was all I needed to know.
Last night also brought a fall. My son’s dog, Tippy, is 12 years old. He’s not long for this world. He has lost bladder control and is shaky. He has fatty tumors, a bad eye and grumpy on a lot of days due to pain of old age. Last night, I slipped in a puddle. I landed hard on my left hip and elbow. My elbow has a knot on it and is bruised and scraped. Yes, I was covered in pee. (GROSS) and immediately took a shower. Was not happy since I’d just done so and was wearing fresh, clean clothes for the night; but he can’t help it. I’m debating if I need to take him to the vet for our last good–byes; but I’m not there yet and he is not suffering. Just keep praying for him.
You see, I’ve got this problem. I love unconditionally these kids and this dog. I don’t see their flaws, only their potential. I think if we had more people who encouraged and loved, despite who they are, what they are or how they look, we’d have less ugly in this world. I pray for them and sometimes with them. I just hope when I’m old and they are no longer in my life, that they’ll remember me for this.