Tonight I went downtown to “Bike Night” and saw Lita Ford in concert. Had a fabulous time and as I was driving home, it occurred to me that in the last year, I have truly enjoyed the freedom of not having to ask someone’s permission to do things and have them say no or to say yes and then upon the day’s arrival, force me to cancel my plans, leaving me disappointed.
I can hardly believe it took me a year to realize I am finally free! I’m free of controlling men. I can come and go as I please. After spending the last 22 years with 2 different men who controlled my every move, I am free to do as I please, when I please, with whomever I please.
WOW! I am amazed. After all this time, I’ve finally realized that I owe nothing to anyone.
I always believed that a couple should share everything and respect each other and love each other and treasure each other. In relationships where one partner is completely controlling of the other, you don’t get these same freedoms, love or respect. You become a virtual slave to the other person and their needs are all that is important. Even though I’ve completed some intense therapy, I have only just now realized the extent to which I was controlled. I am so grateful that I am no longer in such situations. YEAH!!
Knowing that God is bringing me my next relationship and it will be blessed by Him, I have no fear that I will have to worry about that again. God is directing me toward His plan for my life and I have to say that it is greatly anticipated and looked forward to.
I’m keeping busy while I wait for this plan. I’ve been crocheting blankets for Boggy Creek Summer Camp, which children with brain tumors and cancer attend yearly. This camp gives each camper a blanket and teddy bear to keep. So far, I’ve made two and am working on the 3rd. I also am working on two other blankets for friends having babies in December & January.
I’m busy with my son’s Senior year of HS as well. He got his Sr. portraits taken and the cost about floored me!!! YIKES!!! I didn’t really like them, either. He has about 3 weeks left of Marching Band and the time seems to be just sailing by. He’s working on his college audition videos with several boys from band and is making progress. So proud of him.
I’ve lost 19 lbs in the last month and am happy with my progress. I’m steadily getting my life in order. I’ve got to downsize more and I am waiting until it is a bit cooler to start again. UGH! It’s still so incredibly hot.
I miss living up north sometimes. I miss the leaves changing, the crisp smell of autumn air and the crunch of leaves under foot. I miss hiking in the woods or up the mountains. <sigh>
My grandfather passed away this week. It’s been 18 years since my grandmothers passed, within one week of each other, while I was pregnant with my son. My grandfather suffered with dementia for the last few years and it is truly a blessing that he has gone home to our Lord. I know my NC family is grieving his loss. It hurts that I will no longer get to see him; but I will one day, when I leave this world. He will be greatly missed. ❤
Most of the missed hurricane days from school are going to be made up before the new year, with only a few days after the new year comes to finish it up. My son will be graduating on May 19th at 10 am and my parents told me that they’re planning a cruise right after with my cousin, who’s twins will be graduating on the 17th of May, so we may tag along if the price is right.
My world is finally settling into a new normal. I’m learning to be me again. I’m who I am again. Living my life, raising my son, taking care of my pups and loving the new freedom I’ve regained.
Life is good. ❤