Summertime…..

Here we are, on the cusp of summertime and so begins the rains.  We’ve been lucky thus far that its rained only at night so far; but I’m sure the normal afternoon monsoons will start soon.

My son & I have been looking at new places to live and we may have found one.  We shall have to wait and see if all goes well.  It’s been a tough couple of weeks with us finding, then viewing, then finding more places and viewing, in a seemingly endless cycle of disappointments.

What has made these trips worse has been the fact that my ear infections have progressed to the “worse” stage and my vertigo is strongly asserting itself into my life and causing me intense dizziness to the point of severe nausea.  Not even sea sickness bands or tablets have provided any relief at all.  It’s a nightmare.  My only hope is that next week, when the ENT places tubes in my ears, it will help.

My son passed his driving test today, so he’s finally street legal.  Finally got an appt with the advisor at the college.  Looking good for the scholarship to pay for it and we’re working toward being settled into a new place before he starts in August.

Today’s prize was that everything seemed to be going our way.  I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Ha, ha.

The places we looked at today:  first one a total bust.  Bad neighborhood, duplex, small and not a good place for the pups to live.  Not happy with it at all.  The second place was nice.  Spacious, nice flooring, good neighborhood, quaint, great fenced back yard for the pups and we both agreed we like it.

Cons:  Needs washer, dryer, microwave and  chicken wire for the fence.  The fence is a nice wooden one; but my baby, Honi, could slip right between the slats, so we’ll have to put up some chicken wire, about 2 feet from the ground up, to prevent her from escaping.  There are 6 foot privacy fences on both neighbor’s sides.  Not a bad little place.  I can see the potential of me building up the landscape in the back yard.  The yard is just big enough for us to let the pups out for their thing and for any BBQ we may want to do out their.

However, with all the things I need to do for the place, which isn’t a whole lot, I look forward to doing them.  I also need to do some more packing.  I’ve gone and reduced the number of storage tubs I’ve had in the garage and added a bunch more stuff to the donation boxes.  My craft room will be my biggest challenge; but I’m up to it.

I’ve been looking at storage solutions, room ideas, decorating ideas and more, just wanting to change things up a bit.  I look forward to the challenges.  Of course, my son has many friends who have volunteered to assist us with the move and I am grateful that they’re on board with helping us out.  I definitely couldn’t do it without them.

Last Friday, we went to see Incredibles 2 with one of my son’s friends.  Not bad for a sequel.  It’s great how they will only produce quality stories. I’ve heard that Cars 2 is crap; but since I didn’t care for Cars to begin with, I never watched the other 2 they put out.  Anyway, we laughed so hard at the humor and cheered on the supers before going home satisfied with the movie.

My partner at church will be gone for the last two weeks of July and first two weeks  of August, so I’ll be “THE” AV gal.  My son will take care of the sound portion and we’ll work as a team.

This past week, I watched as our drummer, (the man who had a stroke back in October, whom my son was subbing for) playing like his old self.  So great to see where God took him in his health care journey.  We are all so grateful that he is back in the band and my son will be his “sub” when he can’t make it in.  Such a blessing.  God is so good! ❤

Our Pastor was able to come back to church on Saturday as well.  He’s been out the last two weeks with stomach issues that seem to be resolving.  YEAH! We have an associate Pastor working with us the rest of the summer with our band in order to give our Pastor a break.  Another blessing in our lives.  God is so Good!!!

My love of this church family is so overwhelming.  I absolutely adore them and look forward to the days when we get together.  I cannot think of a better family dynamic than ours.  We pray together, we share our lives, we cry, we laugh, we love, we learn and we worship the Father, all while singing the praises of the great I AM.  We are small; but mighty.

On this journey we call life, don’t forget Who put us here and how much He loves us.

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Thank You for Your Service

So, I’m watching the movie, “Thank You for Your Service”, a movie about what happens when a soldier comes home from war.  It deals with PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury, and the VA health care system.

I remember when I was first discharge from the Marines when I was a young woman and first went to the VA hospital closest to my home in NY.  I filled out paperwork, enrolled in the system and filed a claim.

I was treated like shit.  From the first doctor on.  I was in massive pain, I waited hours to be seen by a doctor.  I had tears streaming down my cheeks as I waited to be called in.  I couldn’t take the pain.  I was miserable.  I was hurting.  I saw the doctor, who gave me nothing; but a referral to Psych.  I went to the VA Psych hospital and was taken to a room where I was patted down by two male security guards, who only used the metal detective wand on the males and was treated to a groping.  I then saw the doctor, who made the situation worse and I left there feeling 10x’s worse and assaulted.

The movie tells the characters that it will take up to 12 weeks for the claim to go through; but realistically, it’s more like 6-9 months.  For me, it took 2 years.  I filed in October 1994 and received benefits in October 1996.

The problem is and always will be that the system is broken and now that we have even more service men and women filing everyday, it’s like putting twenty pound bag of sugar on a scale that only measure up to a pound.  It’s going to break and the sad thing is these men and women NEED the help, desperately.

I hurt so much for them.  I feel their pain.  I dream their nightmares.  I struggle, still, with a system that doesn’t give a fuck about it’s patience or those that serve this country after they leave service.

I was last seen by a doctor at the VA clinic September 2016, right after losing my best friend.  You are supposed to be seen at least once a year or you are unenrolled.  My prescriptions are renewed with just an email and when I tried, several times, to get an appointment, I’ve been given the run around.  I’d love to ask them, “Who do I have to kill in order to get an appointment?”, but I don’t want to get arrested or something.  SMH

As the movie ends, they tell you that the real men, whom the story is about, did finally get help.  It’s good to hear.  It’s nice to know that they are still out there and not part of the suicide statistic that is so high in the veteran community.

Everyone has a story to tell about their VA experience.  My father goes to the one in Miami.  He loves it.  His claim was quick and he’s treated like a king there.  Of course, it is veteran run.  People who know what the military is like and how to treat their fellow veterans.  I’m happy for him.  Wouldn’t it be great if the whole system was so much better?

I remember a few years ago hearing about how one VA facility had a makeover of it’s waiting areas and how it was so needed and they asked on veteran what he thought and they were not prepared for his answer, that’s for sure.  It would have been a better use of money had they revamped care and not where we have to wait for care.  That money would have helped more people on the medical side of things, don’t you think?  Yeah, they didn’t like it at all.  I had the same feeling they did.

Shortly after my friend died, I was having a conversation with a long time friend who had the opportunity to meet with President Trump on his campaign trail, before he was president.  Trump had asked those in attendance about VA health care and my friend told him what I had spent the last year dealing with at the local clinic and how my best friend had died because of their lax medical practices and his aid took notes on it.  I hope that it will help other veterans in the future.

 

 

Graduation, Schools and Guns

My weekend started Friday morning with Graduation rehearsal for the boy.  Once that was over, I took the girls out for lunch and a movie to celebrate one of their birthdays.  We saw Deadpool 2 and had a great Italian meal.  I then headed home to get my son and take him to dinner with his grandparents.

Once home, I prepared for the morning and headed to bed.  We had the first scheduled Graduation of the day over at the college stadium, which began at 10 am; but arrival was 9 am.  We got up and out to make it to the 9 am arrival time.  My son looked so handsome in his cap & gown and the service was actually pretty smooth and timely.

After the ceremony, photos with friends and family, we headed out to eat at a local place for lunch with “the birthday girl” and her family to celebrate both of their achievements.  Her father paid for it all their 6 and we were a group of 6, 12 people. WOW! He told me that he was more than happy to pay it for all I have done for his daughter.  I was so deeply touched by this beautiful gesture.  I am truly blessed.

We spent the afternoon with my parents and after they left, we were both sacked, so I went to bed and the boy to his room to do whatever.  My son let me know before I went to bed that he was having about 10 friends over the next day. UGH!

Sunday morning was a rush to the store for provision and a cake.  I’ve been so busy this weekend with things, that today was the first day I heard of the terrible events in Texas on Friday.  My heart is saddened and I am so sorry for the loss and heartbreak these families are suffering.

I know that I have previously written about schools and guns.  I know I have shared my point of view.

I believe that if we enforce the laws we have, things like this could be harder to happen.  I also think that David Hogg, who calls himself a survivor of the Parkland, FL shooting in February, is in serious need of some mental health treatment.  I think this NOT because he was there; but because he calls himself a survivor, even though he was at home during the attack.  In my mind, that is like saying my dog is a rape survivor because no one has ever raped her.

Remember, the above statements are ONLY my opinion and I’m not at the nearest media outlets spouting outrage and propaganda.  I don’t have twitter and I hardly post anything on my facebook page; but scripture references and family/friend photos.

With all that being said, the fact that Mr. Hogg is tweeting propaganda, lies and making up statistics is shameful.  People believe his lies and shameful, insulting accusations of our political leaders.  A bill doesn’t become law over night, despite what Mr. Hogg may think.  The system is flawed, only because the laws on the books are not properly enforced.  It’s easy to blame others for our failings.  It’s easy to point fingers.  What isn’t easy is taking responsibility for our own failings.

Unarming the public is not the solution.   I shared previously about the unarming of citizens overseas and how they are now being prosecuted for their facebook posts.  When one of our freedoms is taken and nullified, the rest are sure to follow.

This is a mental health issue.  The shame and stigma of mental health issues is pathetic and if we’d stop shaming kids who have these problems or putting them on drugs in elementary school, we might raise a better generation of children; but what do I know?  I’m only a mom, a blogger, a disabled veteran and a woman.

What I see, though, is my sons friends parents who are uninvolved it their kids lives due to overworking, no interest or just don’t give a crap.  I see kids so starved for love that they call me mom, run and hug me whenever I am near and genuinely love me; because I care about what they are involved in.  I care about what they’re doing outside of the band room and ask.  I care about their days.  I listen.  Sometimes I give advice, sometimes a shoulder to cry on.  Most of all, I give them my time.  And, I genuinely love them.

My opinion is just that.  I don’t have the solutions.  I don’t know how to help these lost souls.  I wish I did.  I can only pray that something is done to fix this and that no more lives are lost.

People. Am I right?

So, today I am on my way home.  I stopped at the traffic light to make the left hand turn into my neighborhood.  A black car was in front of me at the light.  No big deal.  We turned when the signal arrow lit up green and turned into the neighborhood.  The car in front of me turns and drives; but at only 10 MPH.  I’m confused; but what can I do?  I notice that the guy in the back seat keeps turning his head to look at me.  The driver then stops the car, blocking my driveway so I can’t pull into it.  I’m mad; but all I do is turn on my blinker.  The car pulls up just enough to let me get in my driveway.

I get out of the car and the passenger window comes down.  Turns out it is the crazy woman who’s parents live across the street from me and her kids.  She starts screaming at me about me speeding in the neighborhood (which I was far from doing behind their car) and proceeded to call me a “Renter” and “Drunk”, as if those are bad things.  First of all, I am not a drinker.  As a matter of fact, I can’t remember the last time alcohol was in my house.  (It had to be at least 2 years and not mine) I just had to laugh.

The son, who had gotten out of the car, jumped into a white car in their driveway, started it up, pulled it in front of my driveway and revved the engine at me and spewed obscenitiesv qq, like I’m supposed to be afraid or something.  I have no idea what that was supposed to do to me; but scare or intimidate me it did not.

I did tell her off, having lost my temper by their intentional provoking. It has been many years (at least 3 or more) since I had an incident with them.  The parents, an older couple who own the house, are such nice people and we wave when we see each other.  She is not a nice woman.  She’s always so hostile.

I begged God’s forgiveness for losing my temper, for allowing their provocation to cause me to anger.  I was disappointed in myself for letting them get to me.  I should have just ignored them completely.  They are not worth the trouble. Apparently they’ve held a grudge for the last several years over a tiny mishap and that is just sad, especially since we were both in the wrong and both of us should have been cited; but were not.  At the time of our minor accident, she called me all kinds of vile names and I said not a word.

With the incident on Sunday when a man got angry that I was not moving fast enough to cross the street and now this woman, I do believe that people are crazy!  I don’t mean all of them; but a good number of them have a screw lose.  There is so much anger and hostility and I want no part of it.  I want to live a life without this kind of crap.  SMH.

I don’t mess with my neighbors.  I keep to myself.  I have too many things to do and am not in the least bit concerned about what my neighbors do or say.

I’m a busy woman.  I’m a volunteer.  I run audio/video for my church’s weekly service and help my pastor.  I am a good person and I don’t look for trouble.  I hope I am out of the line of fire; but only God knows.  All I can do is pray and let God handle the situation.

One day, I’ll be in paradise and not have to worry about any of this.

FFCC Championship

So, for the last 5 months, my son has been practicing for Indoor Drumline Competitions.  His last performance was this past Saturday, April 7th.  They placed 2nd in their division in the state.  YEAH!  So proud of them.  They worked so hard and I couldn’t be happier for them.

The day began like many other competition days with the loading of the trailers.  This time, though, my son stepped off the ramp the wrong way and sprained his ankle.  Not fun.  He did, however; perform on it, swollen and all.  We later went to have it x-rayed and no break.  YEAH!

They performed at 12:30 pm and awards were at 9 pm.  We spent the rest of the day watching the rest of the groups perform.  My parents always come to watch my son perform and they love spending time with him, which makes me happy for them all.

Several of our friends showed up, too.  Such a great day.  Well, except for the sprain, oh and the fact that I started getting a sinus and middle ear infection.  UGH!  First my left ear filled with fluid, then the left side of my throat and neck.  By the time we left that night, the right ear was plugged, too.  Doctor appointment on Tuesday confirmed this.  Feeling better today, though and food has a taste and smell other than black pepper, so life is good. 😀

The week has been busy, too.  The music department has been forced to participate in the school musical, which is a disaster.  Three weeks of three day rehearsals, the show  premiered on Thursday evening.  Tone deaf kids sang flat notes and danced in a crazy, uncoordinated bird style.  However, the band sounded great, especially since it was professional level music.  The most shocking part of the play was when a teenage girl performed a chair dance that rivaled a stripper at a club.  I could hardly believe it.  I have to say, the saving grace of that dance was the gal was slim with no shape or breasts to speak of and had nothing to “fall out” the front of her dress.

They perform again tonight; but I have church, so I’m dropping my son off on my way out.  I feel sorry for the band members.  They sit on stage the entire show and so does their director.  They, too, can hardly believe that the performers are doing such a bad job.

Why, you may be asking, has the play only had minimal rehearsals and horrible choreography and singing?  The man who is running it.  He has forced the band director (his first year) and the choir teacher (her first year) to participate in this disaster, gave minimal notice, horrible direction, and no choice.  He then told the audience (for nearly 20 min before the show started —  LATE) that it was the first time they’d been able to collaborate together.  SMH.  What a putz.

Monday, we’re having an Indoor Drumline and Color Guard party to celebrate victory for the season.  The school year is rapidly coming to an end.  Next up, last concert of year and the band banquet.  Following up with the prom and Senior Awards night and then onto graduation.  YEAH!

Here we go…..

 

School Walk Out

We do not need stronger gun control laws, what we do need is better Mental Health Care.  Laws don’t stop criminals.  Laws don’t stop gun violence.  An unarmed citizenship allows dictatorships to become a reality, just ask the Jews from WWII.

I remember while I was still in school, Bernie Goetz shot and seriously wounded four men who tried to rob him on the subway.  This was not the first time he’d faced attackers trying to rob him and when the first time ended in the attackers getting a slap on the wrist, he got angry.  This seems to me to be the start of people taking social injustices into their own hands.

I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, advocating for any type of vigilante justice or justifying anyone shooting anyone.  However, I should be able to carry a gun in order to protect myself and property from anyone.  I can also do a lot of damage with a knife, a bat, a crowbar, a broken glass bottle, etc.  If I am wanting to do damage, I will find a way to do it, regardless of the weapon and will get any kind of weapon, illegally or not to do it.  That’s just the way people work.

If I want to hurt you badly enough, I will find the means with which to do it.  It is that simple.

On the other side of the coin, we have a lot more mental illness springing up all over the place.  PTSD is running rapidly through our military, domestic violence sufferers, accident victims and violence survivors.  We have bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, ADHD, depression, dementia and OCD that cause our brains to act in a non-normal way.  Sometimes they are easily identified and sometimes they are not.  Sometimes they are controlled with medication, sometimes they are not.  The stigma we have placed on mental disorders has people who suffer them hiding in shame.

I remember when I was 13 years old and suffered from chronic ear infections (and still do to this day) my pediatrician told my parents it was psychosomatic (all in my mind) and my father freaked out fearing they’d stick this in my medical records, stigmatizing me for life as someone with a mental disorder.  Crazy, right?  True!

We, as a society, need to tear off the Band-Aid that hides people in a closet of shame for being sick.  We do not choose to be this way, it just happens.  Whether it is because of trauma, chemical imbalance, birth/DNA or whatever the reason, mental illnesses are no different than having cancer, influenza, Lupus, arthritis, liver disease, etc.  It is out of the person’s hands and is no more controllable than the sun rising and setting.

I suffer PTSD.  I also take Cymbalta for it.  I will never be able to come off of this drug; because of it.  Without this drug, I can’t go out in public, I suffer in anxiety in crowds, I have uncontrollable episodes of rage and violence, incredible bouts of fear, my mind likes to cycle into madness and my fight or flight response is in overdrive.  I am not ashamed of my PTSD; because it shows the world that I survived what could have destroyed me.  I have had four traumatic instances in my life that have caused me to be at this point in my life and each one could have easily destroyed a weaker person.  I think of it as a badge of honor, not a stigma of shame.  I wish others could feel the same about themselves.

I don’t want to see another school shooting.  I don’t want to see another Oklahoma City bombing.  I don’t want to see another Washington Sniper or Las Vegas Shooter.  I want to see mental health care given a priority.  I want the stigma removed from it.  I want us to live in a better, more caring world.

Taking our guns away will not stop the violence.  Those who wish to do harm will find a way.  We need to wake up and help our fellow humans to be better humans.  Wake up, people!!!  We are turning into our own worse nightmare and if we’re not careful, we may wake up imprisoned by the very people who want to use violence against us.

Walking out for gun violence is not going to solve anything and most who walk out will only do it to get out of class.  Addressing the underlying issue will go a lot further than unarming our citizens.

Whatever you decide to do, be safe while doing it.

God Bless!

 

What is wrong with people these days?

Saturday, I chaperoned my son’s Indoor Drumline trip to Riverview HS.  I so love volunteering and spending the day with the kids and my son.  In the morning, the Color Guard performed and then in the evening, the Drumline performed.  It was a long day; but I love watching them perform.

After my son’s team performed, the battery exited the gym to remove their drums and return to remove and fold the tarp. As I exited the gym, I realized they only had one person to hold the doors open, so I stood to the left side of the entrance and held open the door on the left for those exiting with instruments.

At this time, I noticed two students had not returned to the gym with the rest of the battery and that a girl was having a panic attack. It looked like she threw herself down on the ground in a fit.  I told another Mom to check on her and directed the boy to go assist with the tarp. I turned away from the situation and focused on helping those exiting the gym.

As I was helping to guide one of the instruments over the threshold, the girl entered the alcove and tried to reenter the gym. I turned and told her she was not needed and to step away. She in turn, tried to push her way through me and screaming in my face that she needed to help. I and another student told her the tarp was folded and just waiting to get through the door. I then told her to she needed to step away from the area.

All instruments and the tarp were then successfully removed from the gym. As I walked away from the doors to await the group loading the tarp on the cart, the girl was still throwing herself around in her fit and I guided her away from the others and tried to get her to calm down. I told her to breath. She pushed me away, saying she couldn’t breathe. I tried to get her to refocus away from the panic and she told me to get away from her. I then instructed her that if she didn’t calm down, I was calling an ambulance because she was becoming a danger to not only herself; but those around her.

Her panic ended after hearing this and she ran over to help with the tarp. I then talked with the tech and told her that this girl was out of control and was a danger to not just herself; but those around her.

As I walked away from the tech, Mr. and Mrs. S (band director and Guard instructor)were approaching and I walked toward them. At this point, I was not going to say anything; but wait for a better opportunity to speak with Mr. S in private. However, Mr. S read my body language and asked what was going on. I then explained what had occurred stating that in my opinion, if she can’t get herself together, she is going to wind up hurting herself and those around her.

Mr. S then asked me if she put her hands on me. I told him yes, she had pushed me at two different times. He then called out the girl, instructed her that she was never to put her hands on a parent or student and stated a parent meeting was going to be scheduled for Monday evening and he left the area. I turned to retrieve the first aid bag and the girl ran up to me, distressed, telling me that she was in a panic attack and didn’t intentionally do anything wrong. I told her to step away from me, I didn’t want to hear it and I didn’t want her to be in my face.

At that time, I took the first aid bag back to the trailer. I waited for the other parents to return with the kids, gather up my stuff and went to the bus to wait. There were more than enough parents present that I felt it would not pose a problem and distanced myself from the situation.

Now, before I reveal my questions, please know that I am not a “hater” of anyone.  I love and respect everyone, no matter their illness or persuasion.  IMO, it has nothing to do with me and is none of my business.  So, excuse my curiosity.  No offense intended.

Okay, so here is the question?  What is up with all this crap?  More and more kids are having panic attacks, ADD, ADHD, and what have you.  There are more kids these days identifying as gay or transgender, etc.  What is happening?

Can someone explain what is going on?  I don’t understand.  Is it something with all the chemicals in our food and beverages?  Is it that parents are raising their kids this way?  Is it that we can no longer spank our kids?  Are we letting the government have too much control and we just can’t raise our kids the way we were raised?  Is it that the earth is now too close to the sun and we’re on our way to hell?  I just can’t figure it out.

When I was young, I didn’t know anyone with these types of situations that were my age.  We weren’t medicated.  We weren’t in identity crisis.  I’m at such a loss as to what has happened to cause all this.

I’m not saying I didn’t know people who were gay or transgender; but not at the rate and amount of those who now identify as such.  If someone can tell me what is happening, I’d love to know.

BTW, I mean no disrespect.  I’m just curious.  I’m saddened for this young girl.  It just seems like there are more and more people who just can’t handle life anymore in any way.

Black Panther

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THIS MOVIE ROCKED!!!!

Incredible acting, incredible story, incredible action, another Marvel hit!

As a “comic book” girl since my youth, I am so happy to see another great, well scripted and put together hero come to the silver screen.  The Marvel franchise has put another notch in their belt with this hit.

I awaited this movie with great anticipation, as I have every Marvel movie since the first one, and was  not disappointed in the least.  I don’t care what any other reviewer says, this movie was awesome.

The beautiful landscape, the action and adventure, the plot, all kept you intrigued from beginning to end.  I laughed, I cried and I cheered.  This movie not only introduced us fully to another great hero; but was full of GIRL POWER to the max!!!  IMO, there is nothing better than a movie that not only empowers women; but gives little girls women to look up to.  These women allow little girls to have big dreams that they truly CAN do anything.

I’ve always been a comic book nerd.  My heroes in comics were Wonder Woman and Black Widow.  I watched Linda Evans on the screen every week playing Wonder Woman and loved her.  I also watched Isis, Shazam, Batman and Superman as well as the Super Friends.  I loved these shows and devoured comic books of my beloved Black Widow like a junky.  LOL!

I looked up to these heroes and let them inspire me to be more.  It’s one of the reasons I became a Marine.  I wanted to be a super hero.  I remember my first email address was “blackwidow@” and my father making fun of it.  He didn’t understand that she was my idol and inspiration.  It’s okay, though, he didn’t have to understand.  Before joining the Corps, I’d only known one woman Marine and she was such an incredible person and inspiration that it was like knowing my own super hero.  She died young, only 40 years old; but I knew she was a hero and that is what drove me forward.

I’m currently reading a book called, “Girls with Swords” by Lisa Bevere.  One of the things Lisa points out in this book is that women need to be empowered; because the enemy (satan) knows that woman will crush him beneath her feet as stated in Genesis.  We are mortal enemies.  It’s the reason women are being pushed down; but our time is coming.  We will defeat him.  We will rise up and we will beat him down.  It is only a matter of time.

Genesis 3:15 “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”

Women were made to be a partner with man.  We were not meant to be kept down.  We were made to fight at his side, to defeat the enemy.  Only together will we be able to bring him to his knees with our Father.

I truly believe we need to work together to give our children knowledge and power so we can stop drug trafficking, flesh peddlers, and rapists or anyone who puts us down as humans, stopping us from being courageous warriors.  We are in the fight of our lives.  Knowledge and power will prevail.  We need to stand together and say, “NO MORE!!”

I highly recommend this movie to all.  It is great and inspiring.

Award Shows

Oh, it’s that time of year again.  Hollywood patting themselves on the back with various awards.  Roll out the red carpet; because here comes the “I am better than you” crowd.  It’s bad enough that these people make millions of dollars; but then they have to flaunt it on the red carpet, dressed to the nines, and sashay on into a theater to await their name being called while we peons sit at home and fawn all over them.  It’s enough to make me gag.

Way to go!  Great job of playing “Let’s Pretend” or singing that popular song!!!  Wooohooo!  PUH- LESE!!!  What about you?  What are you exceptional at doing?  Do you show up to your job on time and do it to the best of your ability everyday?  Where is your award?  And don’t tell me it’s the paycheck; because these carpet walkers are getting paid the big bucks to do their job.

Maybe you’re a full time mom and a full time worker who hasn’t had a day off or even a pee break alone in years.  Where is your award???  Maybe you’re a full time dad, worker, scout leader, coach and carpooler.  Did you get recognized with a statue for your accomplishments?  NO?  Why not?

I’ll tell you why not.  No one cares.  Yup, that’s right.  No one cares.  It isn’t as important to anyone; but your family.  So why do we care about all the pomp and circumstance given to these yahoos for singing a song well or acting in a show?

I sing well.  As a matter of fact, I sing very well.  I never recorded a record.  I’m not a chart breaker nor am I about to be.  I don’t need the validation of others to tell me that I am, either.  You’d think their 7 figure salaries would be enough; but nope, they need to be publically recognized by the world.

Personally, it is sickening to me.  All that glitz and glam for what?  Maybe they should be saving the money they spend there to feed the poor kids here in America.  Maybe they should be rescuing animals from abuse.  Maybe they should be volunteering at hospitals to cheer people up.

Invest your money in helping others.  Did you know that the poorest people give the most to charity?  People who barely get by give more of their time and money to others than those who make big bucks.

Yes, I love movies and television and music.  Yes, I appreciate the talent it takes for these accomplishments, however; I don’t see the point in giving them awards for “doing their job”.  These are as ridiculous as these same actors and singers coming out and bashing politicians.  Heck, some of them screaming the loudest are the ones who have no clue what is even going on in this country.

I guess after seeing the 3rd commercial for upcoming award events, I just got a little bit pissy over the whole thing.  I don’t watch.  I don’t care to watch.  I don’t care who wins what.  I only want to be the best ME I can be.  And I do it all without getting an award for doing it, too!

100% Service Connected Disabled Marine, mom to teen son, widowed, Domestic Violence survivor, blogger and American.  Can I get an award for that?  LOL!

Okay, okay, fine.  No award.  Let me get back to my life.

Sunday Musings

Once again, I’m suffering from double ear infections.  UGH!  Every time I get one, I think back to the pediatrician who told my mother that my ear pain was psychosomatic and all I wanted was attention at the age of 13 and how she took it as gospel.  This is the same doctor who told my mother that my sister, at the age of 8, was insecure because she still slept with a teddy bear and that her stomach pains (which was a blocked intestine) was all in her head.  After hearing this, my mother took her x-rays and medical records to the ER in another county and was diagnosed immediately with the blockage and was told they caught it in time before it killed her. So, her believing this quack was an insult.  Because of it, I never complained again and kept my pain to myself.  It wasn’t worth the fight.

Anyway, I’m forever suffering from them.  When my son was a baby, I discussed it with his pediatrician, who told me that I shouldn’t have them either.  UGH!  Not everyone is the same.  It’s why I think I’ve had Lupus a lot longer than  when my diagnosis came in 2007.  It would explain a lot of other ailments over the years.

I’ve binge watched several shows on Netflix.  Just watched “6 Souls”, “The Five” and “The Fall” over the four days.  They were a little intense.   I’m a police show junky.

I’m worried about my son.  College, leaving home, etc.  He’s 18; but very naïve.  I’ve been letting him drive home from school daily.  I wanted to get him lessons; but at $70 an hour, I just can’t afford it.  So, we’re on our way to doing it slowly.  I just hope his confidence grows; because at present, he’s still very nervous.

I’m needing a new place to live.  I know that when the child support runs out, I’ll not be able to afford this place anymore.  A friend shared a link to some cute cottages; but at present, they’re not even built. They are going to be built in an area that I would not move to due to the high crime rate also, so Nope!  Since it’s “Snow Bird” season, rentals are not easy to find, so I’ll have to start looking during the March/April time period.

I’ve begun working the AV at church and still have my nose in the bible by doing a bible study of Philippians and reading the book, “Girls With Swords” by Lisa Bevere.  I’m hoping that God will reveal where He wants me to go and how He is going to get me there.  I’m feeling a bit lost right now and I just have to keep taking baby steps in hopes that it is the right direction.

I am so broken these days.  I can only hope to recover.  Hurt and heartache are no stranger to me.  I just feel like I’m drowning in it all the time.

Between heartache and illness, I’m just so tired of being sick and tired.